1
10
8
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22
SELF-D EPEKDENt,F •
23
SELF-DEPENDENCE.
ness, coarseness) strong -mindednesaJ down to the
lowest depth of bloomerism, cigarette -smoking)
and talking slang.
CHAPTER
And there are many good reason s, ingrained
II.
in the very tenderest
core of womanJs nature)
why this . should be .
vVe are "the
weake r
vesselJJ-wh ether acknowledging it or not, most
"' IP you want a thin bo• <lo11e
J
go yourself ; if
of us feel this: it becomes manJs du ty an d de-
no t, send.n
light to show us honour accordingl y.
This pithy axiom) of w h'1cl1 most men know
the full value) is by no means so well appreciated by women.
we learn,
helplessness,
On e of the very last things
often through
a course of miserable
heart-burn ings) difficulties, contu-
And this
honour, dear as it may be to him to give, is
still dearer to us to receive.
Dependence is in itself an easy and pleasant
thing : dependence upon one we love being p erhaps the very sweetest th ing in the world.
To
melie s, an d pam,
· 1·s the lesson, taught to boys
resign one's self totally and cont entedly into the
from th eir school -day s) of self-dependence .
hands of another;
Its opposite, either plainly or impliedly) has
been preached to us all our lives.
p endent
young
lady
n -
take care of herself n have become tacitly
«
'' An inde-
a woman who can
and such-like phrases,
suggestive
of hoydenish-
to have no lon ger any need
of asserting one)s rights
or one's personality,
knowing that both are as precious to that oth er
as they ever were to ourselves ; to cease takin
o·
t,
thought about one's self at all, and rest safe,
at ease, assured that in great things and small we
�24
SELF-DEPENDENCE.
25
SELF-DEPENDENCE,
shall be guided
and cherishecl, gual'ded and
fact) thoroughly '' taken care of"_
who, while most needing the exercise of self-d e-
helped-in
pendence, are usually the very last in whom it is
how delicious is all this !
So delicious) that• it
inculcat ed) or even permitted.
From babyhood
seems granted to very few of us, and to fewer
they are given to understand that helpl essn ess is
still as a perman ent condition of being.
feminine and beautiful;
Were it our ordinary lot, were every woman
helpfuln ess) - except in
certain received forms of manife station-
un -
li9'ing to have either father) brother) or husband,
womanly and ugly. The boys may do a thou sand
to watch over and protect
things which are "not proper for littl e girl s.))
her, then, indeed,
the harsh but salutary doctrine of self-dependence need never be heard of.
And herein, I think, lies the gr eat mistak e at
But it is not so.
the root of most women's education, that the law
In spite of the pretty ideals of poets, the
-0f their existence is h eld to be, not Ri ght, but
easy taken-for-granted
of old-fashioned
Propriety; a certain r eceived notion of woman-
this fact remains
hood, which has descended from certain excellent
educators
truths
of female youth)
patent to any person of common sense and ex-
great-grandmothers,
perienc e, that in the present day, whether volun-
sorts of th eir descendant s) but totally ignoring
ta r ily or not, one-half of our women are obliged
the fact that each sex is composed of indi vi-
to take care of themselves -obliged
duals, differing in character almost
to look solely
admirably suited for some
as much
For
to them selves for maintena nc e, position, occupa-
from one another as from the opposite sex.
tion) amusement, reputation)
do we not continually find womani sh men and
life.
Of course I refer to the lar ge class for which
these 'rhoughts
are meant-the
single women;
masculine women? and some of the finest type s
of character we have known amon ~ both
.__,
sexes,
�26
SELF-DEPE NDE ~CE.
27
SELF- DEP EN D E-~C E •
are they not often tho se who combine the
.
qua11~
ties of both? Therefore) there must be somewhere
a standa rd of abstract right) including manhood
and womanhood, and yet superior to either.
One of the :first of its common laws, or common
duties, is this of self-depend ence.
,~re ·women are, no less than men, each of us a
distinct existence.
In two out of the three great
facts of our life we are certainly independent
agent s, and all our life long we are accountable
only, in the high est sense, to our own souls and
the l\1aker of them.
'
Is it natural, is it right
even, that we should be expected- and be ready
.
• ·t to be left undon e ?•
1t, IS 1
Alack, most fre.
·
I
quentl y, w hct her or not it ought to be, it is .
Every one's experience may furni sh dozc~s of
cases of poor women suddenly thro wn adn ft w1·aows ,v1'th families, orphan girls, reduc ed gen-
tlewomen - clinging helpl essly to every mal e
relative or friend th ey have, year after year; sink ing deeper in poverty or debt; eatin g th e bitter
bread of charity, or compelled to bow an honest
pride to the cruellest humili ations., every one of
which might have been spared them by th e early
practice of self-dependence.
I once heard a lady say-a
tend erly-re ared and.
enough, too, for it is much the easiest way-to
tender-hearted woman - th at if her riches made
hang our consciences, dutie s) actions, opinions,
themselves wings) as in th ese times riches ,rill,
upon some one else- some individual, or some
she did not know anything in the world that she
aggregate of individual s yclept Society?
Is this
could turn her hand to, t o keep her self from
Society to dravv up a code of regulations as to
starving. A more pitiabl e} and, in some sense,
what is proper for us to do, and what not?
humbling confession) could hardly ha ve been
11/hich latter is supposed to be done for us ; if
made ; yet it is tha t not of hundr ed8, bu t of
not done, or th ere happ ens to be no one to do
thousands) in England.
�28
SELF'-DEPE:XDE!\CE.
29-
SELF-DEPE::\IDE:KCE,
Sometimes except ions arise : here is one: -
Happily) the trade was one that
Two young wom en) well educated and refined,
personal publicity;
requir ed no
but th ey had to k eep th e
,vere left orphans) their father dying just when
books, manage the stocl(J choose and superintend
his business promised to realise a handsome pro-
fit agents-to
It was essentially a man's
-rision for his family.
business-in
many points of view) decidedly an
Of cours e friends thought "the
unpleasant one.
do things difficult) not to say dis-
tasteful, to most women) and resi gn enjoyments
that, to women of their refinement,
must have
cost daily self-denial. Yet they did it; they filled
girls JJ must give it up) go out as governesses,
their fath er's p]ace,
depend
mother in ease and luxury) neve r onc e compro-
on relatives,
or live in what genteel
sustained
their
poverty the sale of the good -will might allow.
mising their womanhood
But the'' girls) ' were wiser. They argued : ((Ifwe
rather enn obling the work by their doin g of it.
had been boys) it would have been all rio-ht
· we
0
)
Another case-diff
by their
delicat e
work)
but
A
erent) an<l yet alike.
should have carried on the busine ss) and provided
young girl) an elder sister) had to receiv e for
for our moth er and the vvhole family .
step-mother a woman who ought never to haYe
women) weJll try it still.
Being
It is nothino•
wrono-·
0
t) )
it is simp ly disagreeable.
It needs common sense,
activity)
self-dependence.
<lihgenccJ and
have all these;
lcarn .n
young
and what we have not, we will
So these
women
vVe
sen sible and well-educated
laid aside their
ness and plea sant
idleness,
pretty
useless-
and set to work.
been any honest man's wife.
Not waiting
to
be turne d out of her father's house, she dicl a
left it,
most daring and (<improper)) thing-she
taking with her the brotlr@·s and sisters) -whom by
this means only she brltSved she could
lrnnn.
SRYC
from
She settled them iu a Lond on loclo·ino·
a11d
t,
CJ
workc cl for them as a daily governess .
C
«
Heaven
�-30
SELF-DEPE?\.DENCE.
SELF - D EPE::-'DENCE .
helps those who help themselves ."
From that day
this girl never was dependent upon any human
being
j
while during a long life she has helped
and protected more than I could count-pupils
.ancl pupils' children, friends and their children,
besides brothers and sisters-in-law, nephews and
31
value therein is doubled and treb led, and society
respects her accordingly.
Even h er kindly male
friends, no longer afraid that when the charm to
their vanity of ((being of use to a lady" has died
out, they shall be saddled with a perpetual
claimant for all manner of advice and assistanc e ;
nieces, dovvn to the slenderest tie of blood, or
the first not always followed, and the second
-even mere strangers.
often accepted without
And yet she has never
gratitude-even
th ey
been anything but a poor governess, always in-
yield an involuntary consideration to a lady
dependent, al-ways able to assist others-because
who gives them no more troub le than she can
she never was z.nd never will be indebted to
avoid, and is always capable of thinking
any one, except for love while she lives, and
acting for herself, so far as the natuntl restric-
for a grave when she dies. l\fay she long possess
tions anc.1decorums of her sex allow. True, th ese
the one and want the oth er!
have their limits, which it ,Yould be folly, if
and
And herein is answered the "cui bono?" of
not worse, for her to attempt to p ass ; but a
self-dependence, that its advantage s end not with
certain fine instinct, which, we flatt er our sch-cs,
t he original pos&essor .
In thi s mnch -sufferi11
0
is native to us women) ·will generally indic ate
world, a woman who can take care of herself
She not
the division between brave self-reliance an d bold
a sumption.
only ceases to be an unprotected female, a nui-
Perhaps the line is most easily drawn, as in
sance and a drag upon society, hut her working-
most difficulties) at that point where duty ends
can always take care of other people.
�32
SELl ~-DEPENDENCE.
S.ELJ:'- DErEXD};XCE
33
.
and plea sure b egins. Thus) we shou ld respect one
noticed , if the most sensitive) not dways the
who) on a mission of m ercy or necessity, went
through
the low est portions
Gallowgate;
of St. Giles' or the
we should be rath er disgusted if she
did it for mere amus ement or bra vad o. All honour
to the poor sempstress or g overness who traverses
London
night)
hut the
streets
unguarded
alone) at
all hours of day or
except b y h er own modesty;
strong-minded
female who would ven-
tur e on a solitary expedition
humours
t o investigate the
of Cremorn e Gard ens or Greenwich
fair) though
p erfect ly " respectable/'
would be
an exceedingly cond em n able sort of personage.
justest or mos.,+- generous .
I have seen ladies)
no longer either young or pretty,
at which) as mere plea-
sures ) a woman has a right to he sitate
j
there
at
the idea of traYcrsing a ~treet's length at night,
yet never hesitate at being "fetch ed )) by some
female servant, who was both young; and pretty)
and to ,,·horn the danger of the expedition ) or
of the late retu rn alone, was by far the greate r
of the t\ro.
I hi:n-clmmvn anxious mother s, who
would not for worlds be guilty of the indecorum
of sending their daughters unchaperoned
to the
thc:1trc or a ball - and very right) too !-
yet
.send out some othe.:: woman's vouno· <lauo·hter
J
Th ere are many things
shocked
at cleren
P . l\'I.,
O
v
J
to the stand for a cab) or to
the public-house for a supply for beer .
It never
is no single duty) whether or not it lies in the
strikes them that the doctrine of female depend -
ordinary
ence ex.tendsbeyond them elves) " ·horn it suits so
lin e of her sex, from which she ought
to shrink , if it be plainly set b efore her.
1
'1.hose who are the strongest
th e passive
character
of
advocates for
our sex,
its claims,
p roprieties ) and 1·estrictions) arc) I have often
easily, and to whom it saves so much trouble .
'
every woman be sl1e
. t
,
serva.n or
mistress) scm1)strcss or fine lady, should receive
the '' IJrnt, ,f
,, . bl
cc ion smta e to her degree ; or that
th at either
D
�31
S t:I,!'- Dl:PEX
1)
Ei'.\CE,
SELF - DEPEXJ)EXCE
each 011ght to hC' educated into <'qnal sc1f-clepcnd
.
lcctivcly) in different degrees;
.
allowing no one
cncc . Let us, at lea~t, hold the halancc of ju ti-~~
to rust or lie idle, merely bccau:sc their
even, nOL'allow an ovcr-consideraLion for the deli.
is a woman . And, abo,·c all, let us lay the foun-
cacy of one woman to trench on the right , con.
dation of all real womanlines:; by tcac:hing om·
vcnience~, anc.1hone:-:t frrli11~s of another.
girls from their cradle that the pricclc -:;~ pea11
vVc must help ourselves.
of social history,
O\rJH.'l'
ln this curious pha·e
of decorous beauty, cha 'tity of mincl as ,rcll as
is apparently
body, exist' in themsclYes alone; that a si:n~lc-
when marriage
ceasing to become the common lot, and a happy
hcartcc.land purc-min<l<'d woman may go through
uncommon lot of all, we
the world, like Spenser's Una, suffering, ind eed,
mu st educate oue maidens jnto "hat is far better
but neYcr defenceless ; foot -sore and smirched,
than any blind clamour for i11-definec1
((rig:hts"-
but never tainted;
into wha t ought always to be the foundationof
trial:;) yet never eith er degraded or humiliat c<l,
marriage
the
rights-duties.
practice
most
And there
is one, the silent
of "·hich will secure to them ahno·t
exposed, doubtles s, to many
unless by her own act she humiliates herself.
For hcm·cn's sake-for
the sake of" ,roman-
every right they can fairly need--tllc duty of sclf-
hccle," the mo t heavenly th ing next angel hood,
depcndcncc . X ot after any Amazonian fashion
i
(a~ men tell us when they arc courting us) and
no mutilatino-0
of fair womanhood in order to
assume the un natu r al
armour
of men; hut
which it depends upon ourclrcs
to make them
brlicYc in all their livcs) -you ng girl ' , tru~l
by the full exercise of cYery faculty
,
.
. 11cctua l, WI.th which
phy:·ncal,
moral, an d mte
yonr~ch·cs ; rely on yoursclre' !
Hea ven ha s endowed us all, severally aud col-
yon keep the je·;i,-dof 1mrity in y~mr bo?o:.1,
simply
Be assured that
no outward circum 'tanccs will harm you while
�3(3
SELF- OLPEK DE.'.\CE.
and are ever ready with the steadfast, clean
The :1ge of chivalry, with all its benefits and
right hand, of which, till you use it, you ncrcr
hnrmful1H''SC,, is gone by, for u women. "\Yc
know the strength, though it be only a woman's
cannot now have men for our kni ghts -errant, cx-
hand.
pl'nding blood and life for our sake, while we
l!1car not the world : it is often ju. tcr to us
than we are to oursch·cs.
lings the "weaker
If in its harsh jost-
p;oes to the wall" -a ' so
many allege is sure to lrnppcn to a woman-y ou
will almost alwavs fincl that this is not merclv
.
h,1\'C nothing to do but
it idle on bulconie ,
and drop flowers on half-dead victors at tilt
ancl tourney. Nor, on the other hand, arc "·e
dressed-up dolls, pretty playthings, to be fought
and scrambled for-petted,
eare8sed, or flung
~
because of her sex, bu t from some inherent quali
~ies in herself, which, existing either in woman
or man, would produce just the same result,
pitiful ancl blameable, but usually more pitiful
than blameable.
Th e worlc.l is hard enough,for
two-third. of it arc stru co
0•o·lin
°· for the dear life
0
- " cuch for himself, ancl de'il tnk the hindmost j" but it has a rough sense of moral justice
after all.
Ancl whosoeYcrclcnicsthat, spite of all
l!iuclrancc:; from individual ,rickec.lncss,tilerig/it
shall not ultimately preYai1, impngns not alone
human j u~ticc, but the j m;tice of God.
out of window, as our several lords ancl masters
may please. Life is much more equally divided
between us and them.
"\Vearc neither goclc.l
e::;scs
nor slaves; they are neither heroes nor semidemons: we ju st plod on together, men and
"·omen alike, on the same road, where daily
experience illustrates
that
Hudibras's keen truth)
" The value of a thing
I s ju st as much as it will brin•Y
"
t:, ·
And OUl' value is- exactly what we choose to
make it.
�38
SELF-DJ ~PEXDENCE.
P erhaps at no age since Eve's were women
J'atecl so exclu sively at their os;,•n per onal worth
,
apart from poetic flattery
or tyrannica l depre
-
iciation;
the
at
judged
no
time
so entirely
~nd respected
in
world's history
by thei1· individual merits
,
according
to the respect which
they earn for them selves. And ~hall we value
and pinning h er conscience to his sleeve?
Or,
cYcn supp osing h e did like it, is a woman ' s divinity to be man-or
Goel?
..\.ncl here, piercing to th e }'onnc.lation of all
trnth-
1 think we may find the truth concern -
ing -elf-dependence, ,rhich is only real and only
yaluahlc when it~ root is not in self at all; when
Shall we not rat h er accept our posi-
its st rength is drawn not from man; bnt from
so meanly
t ion, difficult
more
.s l-hould er~,
tran. fcrring :ill h er l)lll' dens t O h 1
as to consid er this un-
ourselves
just?
39
SELF-DEPE.\'DF.:XCE .
than
in deed, and
the
requiring
from us
TI'Orkl ever required before,
hu t from its very diffi.culty rendered
the more
Let us not
be afraid of men j for that, I
suppose , lies at the
root of all th ese amiable
" Gentlemen
such things ."
unfem inin e."
indi, idual soul proceeds, arn.l to whi ch alone it
is accountable.
As soon as any woman, old or
youn~, once feds that, not as a ya3uc sentimental
honourable ?
11esitations.
that Higher
and l) iyincr Source whence c,·c'l'V
'
.
don't
" Gentlemen
l\I y dear little
<lo you think a man-a
like such and
fancy so and o
foolish cowards,
good man, in :rny re-
iation of life, ever loYes a woman the more for
rcvere11cing her thr le~s ? or likes her better for
belief, hut as
a,
tangible, practical l::twof life, all
weakness ends, all doubt d<'parts : she recognises
the glory, honour, a11clbeauty of her existence
j
!'-hei~ no longer afraid of its l)ains ; she desires
not to shift one atom of its responsibilities
another .
to
She is content to take it j rn,t a-; it
is, from the lrnncls of the All-Father;
her only
care being so to fulfil it, that "·hi le the "or lcl
�40
SE LF - DEPE".\"l) EN CE ,
FE:.'iIALEPJWIIESSIO'XS,
41
at large may recognise and profit by her self
~
dcpcndcnccJ she
herself) knowing that the
utmost strengt h lies in t he deepest humility,
recognises) solely ancl above all) her dependence
Uj_.)On God.
CIIAPTl~R II T.
Gn..\ :'ITED the necessity of something to doJ and
the ~clf-depcnclence required fol' its achievement,
we may go on to the very obvious question -
u hat is a woman to do ?
A ancstion more easily asked than answered;
J.
and the nu merous replic~ to which, now curr c1tt
in book) })amphlct, newspaper, and reYic,YJsuggc -ting everything possible and impossible) from
compulsory wifohood in Australia to Yoluntary
watchmaking at home) do at pre cnt rather confuse the ma.ttcr than otherwise.
No doubt, out
of these " many worcls/' which '' darken speech/'
some plain word or two will one day tn.kc hapc
�
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FE)IA.LE FRIENDSllIPS
164
165
•
'IHE l\IISTRESS OF A F,D1ILY.
Her ch ildren arise up, and call her bl
d.
esse ' her husban
d
also, and he praiseth her.
Many daugh ters have done virtuou sly
but tl1ou excellest
• '
them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beautv• is vain., but a woman
that feareth the Lord , she shall be praised.
CHAPTER VII.
Give her of th e fruit of her hands ; and let her own
works praise her in the gates ."
"And what is F riendship but a name ,
A. charm that lull s to sl eep ,
A shade that follows wealth and fame,
And lea,·cs the wretch to weep ? "
'rurs remark, expressed too t ersely and intel-
ligibly to be considered "poetry"
must apply to the nobler sex.
now-a-days,
Few observant
versons will allege against ours, that even in
its lowest form our friendship is deceitful. Fickle
it may be, weak, exaggerated, sentimental-the
mere lath-and-plaster imitation of a palace great
enough for a demigod to dwell in-but
rarely false, 1)nrasitical, or diplomatic .
it is
The
countless secondary motives which many men
�166
FEUA LE l<'RIE~DSIIIl.>S.
arc mean enough to have- nay, to
own-ar e
1
a 1 but impossible to us '. imposs1
'ble f rom th
very fault s of our nature -o ur f .- 1· . e
.
.
.
nvo 1ty, irra.
t10nahty, and mcapacity to seize on more
. than
one idea
. at the same t ime.
In truth, a sad
F"E)IALE FRIENDSHUS.
167
sex, down eYen to the far-famed ladies of Llan'\Yhen such a bond really docs exist,
gollcn.
from its exception to general masculine ic.liosyncra ies-espccially
the enormous absorption in
and devotion to Number One- from its total
propor tion of us are too empty-headed to be
absence of sentimentality, its undemonstrative-
doubl e-min ded, too shaUow to be msmccre
. .
ness, clcpth, and power, a friendship between
Nay, even the worst of us being more direct an~
simpl e of character t han men arc, our lightest
friendsh ip - the merest passing liking that we
decorate with that
name - is, while it lasts,
more tru e th an the generality of the so-called
"fr iendships" of mankind.
But-
and thi s " but " will) I am aware, raise
a whole nest of hornets - from our very peculiarities of temperament, women' s friendships are
rarely or n ever so fir m) so ju st, or so enduring,
as th ose of men - wizen you can find them.
Dam on and Pythias, Orestes and Pyladcs, Brutus
and Cassius-last
and loveliest, David and Jona-
th an, are pictures unmatched by any from our
two men is a higher thing than between any
t\Yowomen-nay,
one of the highest and noblest
sights in the whole world.
Precisely as, were
comparisons not as foolish as they arc odious,
a truly good man, from the larger capacities
of male nature both for virtue and vice, is, in
one sense, more good t11an any good woman.
But this question I leave to controversialists, who
enjoy breaking their own b eads, or one another's,
ove1· a bone
contention which is usuallvJ not
worth pic1<1ngafter all.
Yet, though di~scnting from much of the
romance talk eelabout fcmaie friendships ) believin 0o•
that two-thirds of them spring from mere idle-
�168
F.E:\IALE FRIEKD SIIIPS,
FE:.',fALEFRIE~ DSill PS ,
besoin d'aimer Wh'lCh, for
want of natu ral domestic ties m k
h.
ncss, or from that
' a cs t is one
a temporary substitute ' Heaven veor·b'd
I sho~d
i
so malign my sex as to say they are incapable
1G9
mockino-oat things more
lest We be
li()"b
t
of,
0
sacred than we are aware.
And yet, it is not the real thing - not friend-
of an emotion which, in its rio•ht
formand pace
t>
1
. but rather a kind of foreshadowing of love;
ship,
.
as jealous, as exacting, as unre asoning - as ·w1ldly
constitutes the strcn ooth , help , and sweetness of
hapJ)Y and supremely miserable; ridiculously so
many, many lives;
to a looker-on, but to the parties concerned, as
•
J
and the more so because
it is one of the first sweetnesses we know.
Probably th ere are few women who have not
h ad some first frie11 dship , as delicious and almost
as passionate as first love.
it seldom does;
It may not last-
but at the time it is one of
vivid and sincere as any after-passion into which
the girl may fall ; for the time being, perhaps
long after, colouring all h er world .
Yet it i~
but a dream, to melt away like a dream when
love appears ; or if it then wishes to keep up
th e purest , most self-forgetful and self-denying
its vitality at all, it must change its character,
at tachments that the human heart can experience:
temper its exactions, resign its rights : in short,
with many , the neare st approximation to that
be buried and come to life again in a totally
feeling called love-I
different form.
mean love in its highest
form, apar t from all selfishnesses and sensuousn esses -whi ch in all their after-life they willever
kno w.
Thi s girlish friend ship, however fleeting
in it s chara cter, and romantic, even silly, in its
manifestations) let us take heed how we make
Afterwards, should Laura and
·Mat1lda, with a house to mind and a husbancl
to fuss over, find them selves actually kissing the
babies instead of one another - and managing
t o exist for a year without meeting, or a month
without letter-writing, yet feel life no blank,
�170
FE )I ALE FR IENDSHIPS .
171
FE::IIALE F RIENDSIII PS.
and affection a reality still- then th .
en· attach.
ment has taken its true shape as f .- d h.
.
ucn s 1p,
shown itself capable of friendshii)'s d.1st·mgu1
.sh.mg
of which the vital atmosphere is perfect liberty .
h ·
·t hould
A bond, not of nature but of c oice, 1 s
f~atu re -n amely, t enderness without appropria
-
having neither rights nor jealousies ; at once th e
tion ; and t he women, younoo • or old, w1·11 1ove
one another faithfu lly to the end of their lives.
firmest and most independent of all human tics.
P erh aps th is, which is the test of the senti-
exist and be maintained calm, free, and clear,
"Enough ," said Rasselas to I mlac ; " you
convince me that no man can ever be
a
poet."
ment, explains why we thus seldom attain to
And truly, reviewing friendship in its pur est
it, in its highest ph ase, because nature bas made
essence, one is prone t o think that , in this
us in all our feelings so intensely personal. We
imperfect world of ours, no man - certainly no
have instincts, passions, domestic affections, but
woman- ever can be a friend.
friendship is, str ictly speaking, none of the three.
own some dozens ; from i\1rs. Granville Jones,
It is-to
borrow th e phr ase so misused by that
who invites "a few friends "-
And yet we all
say two hundr ecl
arch im-moralist, th at high--priest of intellectual
- to pass with her a " social evening n -to
self-worship, Goethe-a
the poor costermongcr, who shouts after the
n elective affinity, based
up on the spiritual consanguinity, which, though
little pugilistic sweep the familiar tragico-comie
frequently co-existent with, is different from any
saying : "H it him hard ; he's got no friends !"
tie of instinct or blood-relationship. 'fherefore,
And who that is not an utte r misanthr ope would
neither the sanctiti es nor weaknesses of these
refuse to those of his or her acquaintance that
rightly appertain to it; its duties, immunities,
persist in claiming it, the kindly t it le, and the
benefits and pains, belong to a distinct sphere,
vlcasant social charities which belong ther eto ?
�172
FE:\IA LE F RIE NDSRI PS.
173
"fE)IALE FRIE)(DS !ill?S ,
"L ove 1s
. sweet
'
returned ·"
,
.
Given or
and so is friendship . when b
. .
three times three "dearest"
·t
.
'
, ' e 1 ever so infinitesima
. unadulterated
. l. m quantity, its qualit y IS
sprmgmg , as, I rep eat, women's friendsh'1Pa1most
always
does sprin o,
O'
out of th at one-1·aca' d im.
.
puls1veness, .often wrong -headed , but rarely evil
..
hearted, w1nch makes us at once so charmmO'
.
and so troublesome, and which, I fear, never wi~
be got out of us till we cease to be women, and
become what men sometimes call us - and they
well know they give us but too much need to be
-an
gels.
persuade themselves and her that
they come
only to sec dear 13cssy; nevertheless, the fondness is real enough to outla st many both ers
caused by said brothers, or even a cantank erous sister-in-law to end with .
1\liss Hopkins, that
Nay,
wh en
middle-a ged and strong -
minded " young lady"
of blighted
affections,
and l\1rs. J enkins, that woman of sublime aspirati ons, who has unluckily " mated with a
cl0\n1," coalesce against the opposite sex, fall
into one another's arms and vow eternal fricnd shiµ - for a year; after ,i hicb , for five more,
ye s, with all our folly, we are not false: not
even when Lavinia
Smith adores with all her
innocent soul the condescending Celestina Jones,
though meeting twenty years after as fat l\Irs.
Brown and vulgar 1\1:rs. Green, they may with
difficulty
friends , who hone stly
remembe r
one
another's
Christian
names : not when Bessy Thompson, blessed with
three particul ar Iy nice brothers,
owns likewise
they make all their acquaintances
able by their eternal enmity -
uncomfort-
even in this
lamentable phase of the sentiment, it 1s more
respectable than the time -serving, placc -hunt-
mg, dinner -seeking devotion which i\Icssrs . Taµ~
arnl Tad1)ole choose to denominate " friend-
~kp."
l\Ien 1nay lanp:h at us, and we descne
it:
�174
FE::\lALE FRIENDSilll'S,
FEMALE FRIEND Silll'S,
we arc often egr egious fools, but we ai·e h
onest
fools; and our folly, at least in this matter
'
usually ends where theirs begins - with middle
life, or marriage .
It is the unmarried, the solitary, who al'e
most
prone
to that
sort
of " sentimental''
friend ship with th eir own or the opposite :ex,
which, though often most noble, unselfish, and
itself-this,
I
175
say, is an honourable and lovely
sight .
.
·c I o-rant
Not less so the friendsb ip-ra1 ,
b
,
.
"ble-wbich subsists between a
yet quite poss1
.
man and woman whom circumstances, or their
·asics, preclude from the slightest
own 1.d.1osync1
chance of cvcI. "fallino·o in love." That such
is in some forms ludicrous, in others
friendships can exist, especially between persons of a certain temperamcnt and order of
For two women, past earliest girl-
mind, and remam for a lifetime, utterly pure,
ho od, to be compl etely absorbed in one an-
interfering with no rights, and transgrcssmg
other,
and make public demonstratio n of the
no law of morals or society, most people's ob-
fact, by car esses or quarr els, is so repugnant
servation of life will t estify ; and he must take
to common sense, th:1t where it ceases to be
a very low view of human nature who dares to
silly it becomes actually wrong.
But to see
say that these attachments, satirically termed
two women, whom Provid ence has denied nearer
" Platonic," are impossible. But, at the same
ties, by a wise substitution
making the best
time, common sense must allow that they are
and comforting one
rare to find, and not the happiest always, "·hen
a tendern ess often closer than
found; because in some degree they are con-
true,
dangerous.
of fate, loving, sustaining,
anothe r, with
that of sisters, because it has all the novelty
of election which belongs to the conjugal tic
trary to nature .
Nature's law undoubtedly is,
�176
177
FE :\1,-\.I,E FRIE XDSH l l'S ,
FE::\IAL E FRIE~DS ilIP S .
tha t our nearest tics should be those of blood
-fath er or brothe r, sister or mother-un til
comes the closer one of marriao·c
. and l·t lS
.
'b ,
of marriage prefigured a grc:1ter mystery sti11,
always, if not wrono•
't1·ful, when any
0 ' rather p1
extraneou s bond comes in between to forestall
, Yhile allowing th at a treaty of friend ship ,
alone can ju dge th em, for He only knows th eir
miseries, their t empt ations, and their wrongs.
"p ure and simple," c~
exist between a man
the entire affection th at a young man ouo-ht
t)
and woman- under peculiar circumstan ces, even
to bring to his future wife, a young woman
between a young man and a young woman-it
I say ought-G od knmrs if
must also be allowed that the experiment is dif-
But, however fate, or folly,or
ficult, often dangerous ; so dangerous, that the
to her hu sband.
th ey ever do!
wickedne ss may int erfere to prevent it, not the
less true is the undoub ted fact, that happy
above all must be that marriage where neither
hu sband nor wife ever had a friend so dear
as one an other.
After marriage, for either party to have or
t o desire a dearer or closer friend than the
ot her, is a state of thin gs so inconceivably de•
plor able - the more errm g, the more deplorable -
that it will not bear discussion. Such
cases ther e are; but He who in the mystery
matter-of-fact half of the world will not believe
in it at all.
Parents and guardians very natu-
rally object t o a gentleman's "hanging
up his
hat" in their houses) or taking sentimental t" ilight rambles with their fair young daughters.
They insist) and justly) that he ought to
'' Come with a good will, or come not at all;"
namely, as a mere acquaintance, a pleasant frien d
of the family - the u:lwle family, or as a declared
suitor.
An d though this may fall rather h ard
npon the young man) who has just a hundred
N
�178
FE~IALE FRIE NDSH IP S,
FEi\IALE FRIENDSII IPS.
179
a-year, and, with every disposition towards flirt.
and purer than itself, I think it would be all
ing,
the better for the world.
a strong honor
of matrimony - still, it is
It may save both parties from
, "\Vomen' s friendships with one another arc of
fri tte ring away) in a score of false sentimental
course free from all these perils, an d yet th ey
lik ing s) the love that ought to belong but to
haYc their own.
wisest and best.
one ; or, st ill worse, from committing or suffering what, b eginning blamelessly on either side,
fr equ en tly ends
in incurable pain, irremediable
Ther efore it
011
is,
gene rally speaking, those
in life , with whom the love-pha e
is past, or for whom it never existed, who may
b est u se the right) which every pure and independent
heart uncloubteclly ha s, of saying: "I
take this man or ·woman for my friend: only
a friend-neyer
either more or less-wh om as
such I mean to k eep to the encl of my days."
And if more
of these, who really know "·hat
fri endship is, would have the morul courage to
assert its dignity against the sneers of society,
which
which exists spiritually as ~rell as materia lly, and
often independent of matter altogether;
since we
sec many a man wh o is mu ch more of a woman 1
and many a woman who woulcl certainly be the
Wl'Ong.
furthe r
Th e wonderful law of sex-
is loath
to believe in anything hi~her
"better-half"
of any man who cared for h er -
this law can r arely be withstood with impun ity.
In most friends whose attachment
is specially
deep and lasting, we can usually trace a difference- of strong or weak, gay or grave) bril liant or solid -a nswer ing in some meastu·c to
the difference of sex.
Otherwi 'c, a close, all -
engrossing fricnd-11ip between hro women would
Reldom last long; or if it did) by their mutua l
feminine weaknesses acting and reacti n g upon one
another, "oultl most likely narrow the symp a-
th1c::,,arnl ~ctcriorate the characte r of both.
�180
FElV[ALE FH,IENDSHIPS.
FE)'1ALE FRIENDSllIPS.
Her ein lies the distinction - marked and in13.lienable- between friendship and love.
The
htt.er, being a natural ncc~~~ity,req1~iresbut tlte
one, whom it absorbs and assimilates till the two
ware of.
1·
One simple fact exp ams
the whole question-that
181
and limits
those only can find
. a~
who have in themselves the will and
true frien
is
diverse , and often opposite characters, becomea
capacity to be such.
.
A friend. Not perhaps unti l later life, until
safe unity - according to divine ordinance, " one
the follies, passions, and selfishnesses of youth
flesh."
have died out, do we- I mean especially we
But friendship , to be friendship at all,
must have an in dependent self"existence, capable
women-recognise
of gradations and varieties; for though we can
responsibility awful as sweet, of possessing or of
have but
being a friend.
one dearest friend, it would argue
the inestimable blessing, the
And though, not willing to run
small power of either appreciating or loving to
counter to the world's kindly custom, we may
have only one friend.
give that solemn title to many who do not ex-
On the other hand, the
a
hare with many
friends " has pa ssed into a proverb . Such a con-
actly own it; though year by year the fierce experience of life, through death, circumst ance, or
The gentleman
change, narrows the circle of those who do own
who in answer to his servant 's request to be
it ; still that man or woman must have been very
allowed t o go and " see a friend," cries :-
unfortunate - perhaps, as there can be no result
dition is mani festly impossible.
'
,v1thout a cause, worse than unfortunate-who,
" Fetch me my coat, John ! Though the night be raw,
I 'll see him too-the
first I ever saw:"
looking back on thirty, forty, or fifty years of
c'-istcncc, cannot say from the hear t, " I thank
· , than he 1s
1 w1sci
this cynic, poor wretch ! spcaKs
,
God for my friends."
�184,
FEM:ALE FRIENDSHIPS .
I said before, tha t the very clement .
in
true fri end ship lives and out of
'
185
FE:.\IALE FRIENDSHIPS.
.
w11ch
h. h .
w ic it can-
not live at all, is perfect liberty.
And here is one accusation which I must
sorrowfully bring against women, as being much
more guilty t h an men. VI e can keep a secret -
Frie n dship once conceived should, li·ke 1ove,m
.
one sense last for ever. That it does not; that
ay, against all satire, I protest we can-while
in the worl d' s harsh wear and tear many a very
sincere at tachment is slowly obliterated, or both
pop! out it comes! and in the bitterness of in-
parties grow out of it and cast it, like a snakehis
·wardsin mere thoughtlessness, and easy 1orgettmg
last year' s skin - though that implies something
of what is so easily healeGl.,a thousand things are
of the snak e-n ature, I fear - arc facts too mourn-
said and done for which nothing can ever atone.
the
confider remains our friend ; but if that tie ceases,
vective, the pang of wounded feeling, or after~
1'
.
But there is a third
The lost friendship, which, once certain that it is
fac t, as mournfully uncommon, ,:vhichneeds to be
past all revival, ought to be buried as solemnly
rememb ered likewise: we may lose the friend-
ancl silently as a lost love, is cast out into the
the fri endship we never can or ought to lose.
open street for all the snarling curs of society to
Active ly, it may exist no more ; but passively,it
gnaw at and mangle, and all the contemptuous
is jus t as binding as the first moment when we
misogynists who pass by to point the finger at-
pledge d it, as we believed, for ever. Its duties,
" See what your grand. icleals all come to ! "
fully common to be denied.
like it s deligh ts, may have become a dead-letter;
but none of it s claims or confidences have we
ever afterwards th e smallest right to abjure or to
brea k.
Good women-dear
my sisters! be our friend-
ships false or true, wise or foolish, living or dead
-let
us at least learn to keep them sacred! l\1en
are far better than we in this.
Rarely will a man
�186
FE::\I.ALEFRIENDSHIPS,
FE)JALE FRIE~DSIIIPS
voluntari ly
01·
thought le sly betray a friend'E>
con.
fidcnce , either at the time or afterwards. Ile
will say, even to hi s own wife: "I can't tell you
this -I
have no right tell you :" and if she has
the lea st spark of good feeling, she will honour
and love him all the dearer for so saying. More
rar ely still will a man be heard, as women constantly
.
are, speaking ill of some friend who a
little while before, whil e the fricnu.ship lasted,
was all perfection.
"l1at is necessary to be said
he will say, but not a syllable more, leaving all
the rest in that safe, still atmosphere, whereall
good fructifies and evil perishes -the
atmosphere
of silence .
into a fault, and do great harm, still, it never
can d o so mu Ch harm as that horrible
laxity
and profligacy of speech which is at the root
of half the quarrels) cruelties, and inj usticcs of
the workl.
And let every woman, old or young, in commencing a friendship)
to the right thing
name.
be
careful
that
it
is
she has given the ri ght
If soJ let her enter upon it thoughtfully)
earnestly, advisedly, as upon
an engagement
made for life, which in truth it i ; since, whether
its duration be brief or long, it is a tangible
reality, and, as such, must have its influence on
Ay, above all things, wliat women need to learn
in their friendships
like all virtues carri ed to extremity, may grow
is the sanctity of silence-
silence in outward demonstration,
silence nuder
the total chronicle of existence, wherein no line
can cYcr be quite blot ted out.
Let h er, with
the strength and comfort of it, prepare to take
wronoto the outside world,
bJ silence with rco-ard
o
the bm·dcn i determined, whatever the other may
and often a delicate silence between one another.
do, to fnlfil her own part, and act up to her
About the greatest virtue a friend can have, js to
own duty, absolutely ancl con cientiously, to the
be able to hold her tongue;
and though this,
�•
188
FEiL\LE
FRIENDSH IPS.
GOSSl P .
en d. Fo r truly , the greatest of all external bl
essings is it to be able to lean your heart .
agains
t
another heart, faithful, tende r, true, and tried
.
'
and record with a thankfulness that year"
d
~ eepen
instead of diminishing, " I have got a friend!"
CHAPTER VII I .
ONE
of the wisest and best among our English
ethical writers, the author of Companionsof my
Solitude, says, apropos of gossip, that one half
of the evil-speaking of the world arises, not
from malice prepense, but from mere want of
amusement.
And I think we may even grant
that in the other half, constitntecl small of mind
or selfish in disposition, it is seldom worse than
the natural falling back from large
abstract
interests, which they cannot understand,
those which they can-alas!
commonplace, and personal.
upon
only the narrow,
�
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Text
314
315
GRO\YIXG OLD,
LOST WO'.\IE:,.,.
her power, when her dealings with Vice sink into
a
mere matter of individual opinion, pcronal
dislike, or selfish fear of harm.
For all offences
,
punishment, retributive and inevitable,must come;
but punishment is one thing, revenge is another.
O~rn only, who is Omniscient a~ well as Omni-
CHAPTER XII.
potent, can declare, "V cngeanec is 1lfine ."
,, 'D o ye think of the days that are gone, Jeanie,
As ye sit by your fire at night?
:
ld
b
·inu
back
the
t.mc,
Do ye wish that the morn wou
i
b
.
. , '
·
Whenyour heart and your st e1) were so h"ht
o
'I think of the days that are gone , Robin,
.\nd of all that I joyed in th en ;
Butthe brightest that ever arose on me,
. , ,,
I have never wished back again.
Gnow-rno
old! A tim e we talk of, aucl jcSt or
·
mora
li c over, but fincl almost nnpo
ss1·blc to reali'e-at least to ourselves.
In others, we can
. approach clearer : yet even then we arc
,cc its
~lowto recogni c it. ",rhat, 1 [i s So-au cl-so
loo
kmg
. old, did you say ?. I mpo --ible ·' she is
�31 7
GROW I NG OLD.
316
GROW I NG OLD .
q:tc:
young person : only a year older than I
an t at would make her J.ust
I
· · · · Bless rn 1
am forgetting how time goes on.
e.
·
Yes,"-with
a f amt deprecat·lOn w h 1ch
'
truth £ ·b·d
contradict a d 1·
o1 i s you to
) n po iteness to notice)- « I suppose
we are neither of u s so young as we used to b "
1Vithout doubt ·t •
.
.
e.
) I is a trymg crisis in a woman) s life-a sino-le
)
.
.
t>
woman s particularly-when
she bcgms to suspect she is « not so ).oung as she
us ed to be ; " that) after crying
«
Wolf)) ever
since the respectable maturity of seventeen-as
some young ladies are fond of doing, to the extreme amusement of their friends-the
grim wolf,
old age) is actually showing his teeth in the di _
·n silver paper " my first gr ey hair/ ' old
es l
preserv
viewedas a near approac hing reality ) is~
age,
quiteanother thing.
To feel that you have had your fair half at
leastof the ordinary terms of years allotted to
mortals;that you h ave no right to expect to be
anyhandsomer, or stronger , or happier than you
arenow; that you have climbed to the summit of
life,whence the next step must necessarily be
decadence
; - ay) though you do not
feel it,
thoughthe air may be as fr esh, and the view as
grand-still,
Slower or
you know that it is so.
faster,you are going down -hill.
To those who
go "hand -in-hand/ '
t:mce; and no courteo us blindn ess on the part of
" And sleep thegither at the foot,"
these said friends) no alarmed indifference on her
mvn) can neutralise the fact that he is, if ::;tillfar
off) in sight .
And) however charmingly poetical
he may appear to sweet fourtccn-an<l-a-half, "ho
w1itcs
melancholy ,·(•r~C'5 :ihont "I wish I were
agam a child/'
or merry thrrC'-an<l-twenty,"h o
it maybe a safer and sweeter descent·
)
but I am
writingfor those who have to make the descent
alone.
It is not a pleasant descent at the beginning .
Whenyou find at parties that you arc not asked
�318
319
GROWING OLD .
GROvVING OLD.
to dance as much as formerly and
h·
'
your partner
are c iefly stout, middle-aged gentlemen d 1·
Id
,~ s~
a s, who blush terribly and 1• · .
.
equn e a great deal
of drawmg out . _ h
.
,
w en you are " dear" -ed and
patronised by stylish young chits who
.
.
,
were m
thei r cradles when you were a grown woman; or
. .
d _ ou detect a covert smile on the face
O Y
w1tt10gly
.
. t ·locutor . or led by chance excitement
ofyourmer
' '
ourself in an ul tra -youthful manner,
to deport Y
.
. t· ct warns you that you are makmg
somems rn
:a1·culous Or catching in some strange
lf n
yourse
·
looking-glass
the face that you are too familiar
when some boy, who was your playthino- in
withto notice much, ordinarily, you suddenly
.
0
petticoats , has the impertinence to look over your
becomeaware that it is not a young face ; that
head, bearded and grand, or even to consult you
it will never be a young face again ; that it
on his love-affairs; -when
you find your ac-
willgradually alter and alter, until the known
quaintance delicately abstaining from the term
faceof your girlhood, whether plain or pretty,
'' old maid"
lovedor disliked, admired or despised, will have
1n your presence, or immediately
qualifying it by an eager panegyric on the
altogethervanished-n
solitary sisterhood ;-when
youwill, you cannot see it any more.
servants address you
as "lVfa'am," instead of "1\1:iss;" and if you
ay, is vanished : look as
There is no . denying the fact, and it ought
are at all stout and comfortable-looking, strange
to silence many an ill-natured
shopkeepers persist in making out your bills to
those unlucky ones who insist on rema mmg
" Mrs. Blank," and pressing upon your notice
"young ladies of a cert ain age," -that
toys and perambulators .
peop
le the passing fron1 matu rity to middle age
Rath er trying, too, when, in speaking of yourself as a" girl" -which,
from long habit, you un-
remark
upon
with most
is so gradual, as to be almost imperceptible to
the individual concerned.
It is very difficult
�322
desperately to the youth that
.
w1 11 not
stay?
and which) after all) is not such a ver·yprec1ous
.
or even a happy thing.
323
GROWING OLD.
GROWING OLD.
vVhy give herself such
ball-costume
is really becoming; but after thirty)
it is the very last sort of attire that a lady cau
assume
with impunity.
It is said that you can
a world of trouble to deny or conceal her exact
only make yourself look younger by dressing
age) when half her acquaintance must either
a little older than you really are; and truly I
know it or guess it) or be supremelyindifferent
haveseen many a woman look withered ancl old
about it ?
in the customary evening-dress which) being
·vvhy appear dressed-undressed
)
the patt ern of her niece)
unmarried,she thinks necessary to shiver in)
the belle of the ball; annoying the eye with
,rhowould have appearecl fair as a sunshiny
beauty either half withered or lono•
overblown
t>
}
Octoberday if she would on1y have done Nature
and which in its prime would have been all the
thejusticeto assume) in her autumn time) an
lovelier for more concealment?
autumna
l livery. If she would on1y have the
cynics would say-after
I n this matter of dress) a word or two. There
senseto believe that grey hair was meant to
are two styles of costume which ladies past their
softe
n wrinklesand brighten faded checks) giving
premiere Jeunesse are most prone to fall into :
the same effect for which our youthful graud-
one hardly knows which is the worst. Pcrhap',
mothers
wore powder·) that flimsy' li 0 ·ht-coloured
though) it is the ultra-juvenile-such
as the
dresses,
fripperieclover with trimmings) only suit
insane juxtaposition of a yellow skin and white
airyfigures and active rnotions · that a sober-
tarlatane) or the anomalous a<loming of grey
tintedsubstantial gown and a pretty cap will
hair with artificial flowers. It, may he ques-
anyday take away ten years from a lady's ap-
tioned. whether at any age beyon<l l\\<'nty a
l'l''\l"lll
0
)
' ''
ce;-a bove all, if she would observe thi::;
�325
GROWI NG OLD.
GROWI NG OLD.
for undue exhibition th ereof, no point that is
notice of what we wear, and' in
.
would like to appear graciou s
whoseeyes we
th e last so far as nature allows :
andlove1Y t O
'
.
e otherwise. This,
not easy when t h ings ar
positively unbeautiful ough t ever, by any pre-
perhaps,is the reason why we see so m11ny
tence of fashion or custom, to be shown.
. d women grow careless and " o1dunmarne
. d" ·n their dress - " )Vhat does it
fash10ne 1
signify?_ nobody cares."
one grand rule of the toilet, always advisable,
but after youth indispensable-that
th
. ts,, are by no
Pe1 ona1 " porn
means
h
oug good
a warrant
The other sort of dress, which, it must be
o necl, is less frequent, is the dowdy style.
• Peopl e saya
thou gh not very soon-«
Oh, I
not a young woman now; it does not signify
what I wear."
""\1/hetherth ey quite believe it
us, and take
1 think a woman ought to care a little- a
verylittle-for her self. Wi thout preaching up
vanity,or undue waste of time over that most
i anothe r question; but they say it - and act
thanklessduty of adorning
upon it when laziness or indifference prompts.
body's pleasure in particular -
Foolish women ! they forget, that if we have
a ri()'ht
and becomin bo· feeling to have
b
rea son at any time more than another to mind
respectfor that personality which, as well as our
our (( looks," it js when our looks are departing
soul, Heaven gave us to make the best of ?
from us .
Youth can do almost anything in the
Aud is it not our duty - considering the great
t oilet - middle-age cannot; yet is none the less
number of uncomely peopl e there are in the
bound to present to her friends and society the
world- to lessen it by each of us makin g
most pleasing exterior she can. Ea:sy is it to
herselfas little uncomc1y as sh e can ?
~o this when we have those about us who love
one's self for no is it not still
some
�32G
GROWING OLD.
Because a lady
ceases to dress youthfull
has no
£
y, she
excuse or dressing u11t'1d1·1
.
Y; and though
h avmg found out th t
a one general style suits
both her person) her ta ste and h .
.
)
e1 convemence
she k eeps to it ) an d. generally prefers mouldino'
the fashion to herself, rather than herself to tho
fashion )- still, that is no r eason why she shoulc:
try
327
GROWI N G OLD,
the ri sible nerves of one generation by
ve left the ri sin g generation no Fifth
senseha
of November) in thu s voluntarily " making a
Guyof herself."
That slow, fine, and yet perceptible
change
ofmien and behaviour, natural and proper to
advancingyears, is scarcely r educibl e to rule at
all. It is but the out er reflecti on of an inward
processof the mind.
We only discover its full
showing up to them th e out- of-date costume of
importance
by the absence of it, as notic eable in a
anot her.
person"w hho
Neatness invariable;
hues carefully
as sue h very ' young ' manne1·"
s,
ha rmo nised, and as time advances, subsiding into
whofalls into r apt ures of entht1siasm, and ex-
a genera l unity of tone, softening and darkening
pressesloudly every emotion
in colour, until black, white, and grey alone
Such a character, when r eal, is unobj ectionable,
r emam , as the suitab le garb for old age : these
nay
, charming, in extre1ne y outh; bu t the great
t hin gs
imprnbabilityof its b eing real mak es it r ather
are every woman's bound en duty to
observe as long as she lives.
sicknes s, or loneliness -
No poverty} grief:
tho se mental causes
of her
natu re.
ludicrous,if not disag reeable, in mature
age,
when the passions die out or are quieted down,
which act so strongly upon the external life-
the sense of happin ess it self is calm , and the
can ju stify any one (to use a phrase probably
fullest, tenderest tide of which th e loving h eart
soon t o be obsolete, when charity and common-
is capable, may b e described by those " sti ll
waters" which "run
deep."
�3.28
GROWING OLD,
GROWI:\TGOLD.
To " grow old gracefully " as
h
'
one, w o truly
has exemplified her theorv h
.
·J,
as wntten and ex~
pressed it, is a good and beautiful th'
mg; to
grow old worthily, a better And th fi
·
e rst effort
to that end ·
t
1
.
Is no on y to r ecogmse, but to
329
..
·son often requires half a lif etime
A sensitiveper
·
hly used to this corporeal machine,
~~fu ocoog
.
to see, or, if not seeing, to
.
wholesome indifference both to its
to attam a
erfections and to learn at la st ,
defectsand P
'
would
acquire
from any teacheiwhat nob odY
· . nee that it is the mind alone which
but expene ,
is of any consequence ; that with a good
have faith in, the wisdom of that which we call
temper
, sincerity, and a moderate stock of brains
change, yet which is in truth progression; to
- or even the two former only -
follow openly and fearlessly, in ourselves and
bodycan in time be made useful, r espectabl e,
our daily life, the same law which makes spring
and agreeable, as a travelling-dress
pa ss into summer, summer into autum n, autumn
Manya one, who was absolutely plain in youth,
into winter, pr eserving an especial beauty and
thus grows pleasant and well-lookin g in declin-
fitn ess in each of the four .
ing years. You will hardly ever find anybody,
become person ally reconciled to the fact of
youth's
departure;
Yes, if women could only believe it, there is
any sort of
for the soul.
not ugly in mind, who is repulsi vely ugly in
a wonderful beauty even in growing old. The
personafter middle life.
charm of expression arising from softened temper
So with the character.
If a woman is ever to
or rip ened in tellect, often amply atones for the
bewiseor sensible the chances are that she will
loss of form and colouring; and, consequently,
have become so somewhere between thirty and
to those who never could boast either of these
forty
. Her natural good qualities will h ave de-
latter, yeare g ive more much than they take away.
'
�330
GROWING
GROWING OLD.
veloped; her evil ones will have either been partly
subdued) or have overgrown l
1·k
1er 1 e rampant
weeds ; for, however we may talk about people
being " not a whit altered''
as ever'' -
tl1e same
not one of us is, or can be, for long
-
a · t
JUS
. b .
331
OLD,
me to one among the number
.
term " the pleasures of growmg
Andthis rmgs
ofwhatI may
old.''
At our outs et, " to love" is the verb we are
mostprone t o
conJ·uo·ate . afterwards we discover,
o
'
the body we carry with us is the identical body
first it is by no means the sole
thattl1ough the
'
verbin the grammar of life, or even the only one
we were born with) or the one we supposed ours
that implies (vide L ennie or lVIurr ay) "to
seven years ago.
to do, or to suffer."
together, exactly the same; no more than that
Therein, as in our spiritual
b e,
To know - · that is, to
self which inhabits it, goes on a perpetual change
acquire,to find out, to be able to trace and ap-
and renewal: if this ceased, the result would be,
preciatethe causes of thin gs, gradually b ecomes
not permanence, but corruption.
a necessity,an exquisite delight.
I n moral and
vVe begin to
mental, as well as physical growth, it is im-
taste the full meaning
possible to remain
describesthe other world as a place where " we
stationary;
advance, we r etrograde.
improve" words!
if we do not
Talk of " too late to
'' too old to learn," &c. ! Idle
A human being should be improving
of that promise which
shallknow even as we are 1cnown ."
this world, with
all its burdens
Nay, even
and
presentsitself in a ph ase of abstract
pains,
interest
with every day of a lifetime; and will probably
entirelyapart from ourselves and our small lot
have to go on learning throughout all the ages
therein,whether joyful or so1•rowful. V{e take
of immortality.
pleasure in tracing the
lar ge workings
of all
things- more clearly appreh ended as we cease
�332
333
GROWI NG OLD.
GROWING OLD.
to expect, or conduct ourselves a 'f
h
s l we expected
t at Providence will appear as D
'
eus ex machina
for our own private benefit vV
·
e are able to
pass out of our own small da·1 h
.
.
1y sp ere, and take
interest in the marvellous
.
government of the
umverse; to see the grand
k.
wor mgs of cause
an d effect, the educing of good out f
.
o apparent
evil,_ t_he clearing away of the knots in tangled
.
ly the abortive developments of a
sucha1e on
.
.
bl quality which, properly guided,
rwht
no e
'
0
•
b· e:fi.tsincalculable to the individual
resultsin en
and to society. For, undoubtedly, the after -
destm1es, general or individual, the wonderful
experie
nce of middle age.
agency of time, change and progress in our-
halfof life is the best working-time.
Beautiful
isyouth'senthusiasm, and grand are its achievements;but the most solid and permanent good
is done by th e persistent
strength
and wide
A principal agent in this is a bl essing which
selves, in those surrounding us, and in the world
rarelycomes till then-contentment:
at large.
resignation,a passive acquiescence in what can-
We have lived just long enough to
not mere
catch a faint tone or two of the large harmonies
notbe removed, but active contentment;
of nature and fate -
to trace the apparent plot
and cheaply, too, by a p ersonal share in that
and purpo se of our own life and that of others
dai1yaccount of joy and pain, which the longer
sufficiently to make us content to sit still and see
one lives the more one sees is pretty equally
the play played out.
balancedin all lives.
'
As I once heard said, a-we
bought,
Young people are happy-
feel we should like to go on living, were it only
enjoyecstatically, either in prospect or fruition ,
out of curiosity."
"the top of life i"
In small minds, thi s feeling expends itself in
meddling,
gossiping, scandal-mongcriug;
but
contented.
but they are very seldom
It is not possible.
Not till the
cloudymaze is half travelled through, and we
�334
335
GROWING OLD.
GRO°WIXGOLD.
begin to see the ob'Ject and
we be real]
purpose of 1.t
Y content.
, can
One great elemcnt in th.
shame to grant th
. is-nor let u think
at which G d
allow - con i t .
o and nature a] o
s s m the doubtful
.
marry or
quc tion, "To
not to marry?>>
.
. b emob h' .
generally settled . tl1
o y t I tune
•
J
e world's 1·c11
·
e curiosity or
1mpertment meddling th erewith h .
an end j which al
.
anng come to
one is a great b
woman
II
.
oon to any
..
er rclat10ns with th C Ot1lCl' 'C · .
erce t bl
b
x 11nP . p 1 Y c anoo-e th cu· . c}rnractcr, or slo,1lr
declmc. Thouo·h
t} 1crc are exception, of old
b
her wit ever so sparkling,
her influence ever
sopureand true, she will often find her listener
preferring bright
eyes to intellectual
conver -
sation, and the satisfaction of his heart to the
improvementof his mind.
. ?
hun.
Pleasant as men's
And who can blame
society undoubtedly
is ;
honourable,well-informed gentlemen, who meet
a lady on the easy neutral
ground of mutual
esteem, and take more pains to be agreeable
to her than, unfortunately,
her own sex fre-
quently do; th ey arc, after all, but men.
Not
lovers
who have become fJ.-JCll d• , and, fncnds
.
1
w 10m no new love couId make "rn ·c from
.
one of them is really necessary to a woman's
the fealty of years• , st i·11l·t usua 11.YhaJJ}Jens
-he has probably either met, or lost, or found.
If
a woman wi-;]1rs to r Ct am
. ]}('l'
mankind-not
~-
S\\'il\'
()\ l I'
.
an unnatural msh,
c·, c·11·in the
good and amiable>
"
,]10 ]ia, c 1>cc·n
l011~
used
to attention and acllllirntion i11 soc·il'I\' - :-he•
rnust <lo it
she
]1as
uy )!)('alls
qui!C' d1ff<"l'<'lll rr:,111
all\
]1it ]1C'rto <'Illploy<·cl.
E11JI tlH·11,be
l1appincss,except the one whom, by this time,
Therefore, however uncomplimentary
this may
sound to those charming and devoted creatures,
"hich of course they always are in ladi es' younglac1ic'-
society, a lady past her youth mny
be well content to let t hem go b efore th ey depart
�336
837
GROW!XG OLD.
of their own accord.
I£
h
ear t e waning coquette
the ancient beauty as well as th
·di ,
'
e 01 nary
woman, who has had her fair share of both lo,e
• remind of the anecdote of the amwou
ld fam
bassadorin China.
To him, tos sing sleepless
and liking, must learn and show by her demean-
" Sir, may I put to you, and will you ans,,-er,
. bed, his old servant said :
on h1s
our she has learned that the only way to preserYe
three questions?
the unfeigned respect of the opposite sex, i by
governthis world very well before you came
letting them see that she can do without either
into it?))
their attention or their admiration.
Another
youth's
" Of course."
source of contentment, which in
fierce self-dependence it would be Yain
to look for-is
the recognition of one's own
comparative unimportance
F irst , did not the A]migbty
and helplessness m
the scale of fate .
We begin by thinking we
can do everything,
and that everything rests
with us to do; the merest trifle frets and disturb~
us J· the restless heart wearies itself with anxictie:;
over its own futur e, the tender one o, er tlw
"An d will H e not also do the same when you
. ?"
aregoneout of 1t
.
" I know that ."
" Then, do you not think, ~ir, that He is c.\ble
to goyernit ·while you are in it ? "
The ambassador smiled assent, turned round,
and lept calmly.
Alas! it is the slowest and most painfu l lesson
that Faith has to learn-Faith,
not Indifference
Many a young facl'
-to do teadfastly and pati ently all that lies to
<lo I see wearing the inde scribable Marilla-look
her hand; and there leave it, believing that the
futur es of those dear to it.
-
'' troubled
about rnauy things"-"
holll l
.\lmightyi~ able to govern His own world .
lt is said that we suffer less as we grow older
z
�338
GltOWING
GitOWlNG
OLD.
on9
uu
OLD.
that pain, like joy, becomes dulled by repetition,
Faithalready referred to, we have come to view
or by the callousness that comes ·with ye . I
a1s. 11
one sense this is true If the. •
.
.
.
re is no JOY1ike the
joy of youth, the rapture of a first love, the thrill
lifein its entirety, instea d of agonisingly puzzling
of a first ambition, God's great mercy has also
eye. And that calm twilight, which by nature's
granted
that there is no angui sh like youth's
kindlylaw so soon begins to cre ep over the past,
so tot al, so hopeless, blotting out earth
throwsover all things a softened colouring which
pain;
over its disjointed parts, which are not, and were
nevermeant to be, made wholly clear to mortal
and heaven, falling down upon the whole being
altogether tran scends
and forbids
like a stone.
This never comes in after-lifeJ
supposethere is h ard ly any woman with a good
becau se the sufferer, if he or she have lived to
heart and a clear conscience, who does not feel,
any purpo se at all, has learned that God never
on the whole, the infinite truth of the verses at
meant any human being to be crushed under any
the head of thi s p aper, and of the other tvrn
calamity like a blindworm under a stone.
verse
s which I here add -
partly
regr et.
I
because a
For lesser evils, the fact that our interests
pleasant rhyme is a wholesome thing to cling
gradually take a wider range, allows more scope
about the memory, and partly in the hop e that
for the healing power of compensation.
some one may own or claim this anonymous
our
Also
stronge st idiosyncrasies, our loves, hates,
sympathies,
song:-
and prejudices, having assumed a
more rational and softened shape, we do not
present so many angles for the rough attrition
of the world.
Lik ewise, with the eye of that
" ' Do ye think of th e h opes that are gone, Jeanie,
As ye sit by your fire at nigh t?
Do ye gather them up as they faded fast
Like buds with an early blight?'
�341
GROW I N G OLD,
340
GROWING OLD,
fromfamily ties and restrictions, for this sort of
, I think of the hopes that are gone, Robin,
liberty is sadder than bond age, but she will be
Aud I mourn not their stay was fleet ;
For they fell as th e leaves of the red rose fall,
mistress over herself-
And were even in falling, sweet.'
she will h ave learned to
understand herself, menta lly and bodily.
' Do ye th ink of the friends that are gone, J eame,
.
Nor
is this last a small advantag e, for it often tak es
As ye sit by your fire at night?
years to comprehend, and act upon when com-
D o ye wish they were round you again once more
prehende
d, the phy sical p eculiar ities of one's own
By the hearth that they made so bright?'
' I think of the friends that are gone, Robin,
constitution. J\1uch valetudinarianism
T hey are dear to my heart as then :
among
wome
n arises from ign orance or neglect of the
But the best and the dearest among them all
I have never wished back again ! ' "
commonestsanitary laws ; and indifference to
Added to all these reasons, contentment faith
'
'
that grand pr eservative of a h ealthy body, a
cheerfulness, and the natura l calming down of
well-controlled, healthy m ind.
both p assions and emotions, which give a woman
are more att ainabl e in mi ddle age than youth;
greater capacity for usefulness in middle life
and,therefore, the sort of h appin ess th ey brin g
than in any previous portion of her existence, is
- a solid, useful, available h appiness-is
another - her greater independence.
in her power th en, th an at any earlier period.
By the
Both of th ese
more
time she h as arrived at the half of those three-
Andwhy ? Because she ha s ceased to th ink
score-years-and-ten which form the largest avail-
principally of h erself and h er own pleasures ;
able limit of active life, she will generally have
because, as I tr ied to show in a former chapt er,
become, in the best sense of the term, her own
happiness itself h as become to her an accidental
mistre ss.
thing, which th e good God 1nay give or ·with hold
I do not mean as regards exemption
�3-12
GRO'\VI NG OLD.
GROWING OLD.
as He sees n10st fit for her
the work £
.
- most adapted to
or which He means to use her.
generation. Th•
. .
lll her
is conviction of b . .
.
emg at once an
active and a passive o·
.
abent-self-working, worked
th1 ough , and worked upon
.
1
.
- 1s sure y consecrat10n enough to form tho
.
"' peace, nay, the happmess , of any good
, .
woman s 1ife : enough, be it
ever so solitary, to sustain it ~ntil the end.
· l st humilitv for labours of lov e which levc),
s1111p
e
J'
or rather raise, all classes to one common sphere
In what manner such a conviction should be
fallen the bringing up of whole families, and to
carried out, no one individual can venture to
whom has tacitly been acconlcd the head ship of
advise.
the same, by the love and respect of more than
VVomen's work is, in th'1s age, 1'f un-
of womanhood.
And many others, of whom the
world knows nothing, who have taken the wisest
course that any unmarried woman can take, and
made for themselves a home and a position :
some, as the ladi es Bountiful of a country nei gh bourhood; some, as elder sisters, on whom ha s
defined, almoat unlimit ed, when the woman her-
one generation thereof;
self so chooses.
painters, and profe ssional women generally, who
herself;
She alone can be a law unto
deciding, acting according to the cn·-
and some as writers,
make the most of the special gift apparently
allotted to them, believing that, be it great or
cum stan ces in which her lot is placed.
And have we not many who do so act ?
small it is not theirs either to lose or to wast e,
Women of property, whose name is a proverb
but that they n1ust one day r ender up to the
for generous and wise charities-whose
Master His own, with usury.
riches,
carefully guid ed, :fl.owinto innumerable channels,
freshen ing the whole land .
Women of rank and
influence, who use both, or lay aside both, in the
'
,~r
ould that, in steacl of educating our young
girls with the notion that they are to be wives,
or nothino0
matrons
J
with
an acknowledged
I
�344
position and duties o.
.h
.
wit no positionand dut.
at all-we could in t' l .
ies
s i mto them the p . . l
tr t b
rmc1pe
ia 'a ove and before all th
' ey are to be women'
3-t5
GI-:.OW
ING OLD.
GROWING OLD.
I
able regret , a torment from which there is no
escape bu t death. There is many a bridal chamber over which ought to be
placed no
vrnmen, whose character is of tl . ,
.
1en own makm~
and whose lot lies in their own hands.
th rouo·h any £ r h · d
o
oo is m cpendence of mankind
or adventurous misoo·amy.
let peo I
'
0
•
P e prate as
th
·n
ey w1 ' the woman was never born yet who
other inscription than that well -known one ovel'
would not cheerfully and proudly give herself
any sense of real m arriag e, with all its sanctity,
and her vvhole destiny into a worthy hand, at the
beauty, and glory, should ever be driven to ente1·
right
time, and under fitting circumstances-
such an accursed dool' !
that
is, when her whole heart and conscience
N:;
accompanied and sanctified the gift.
riage
ou ght
necessity,
But mar-
always to be a question not of
but choice.
Every girl ought to be
the gate of Dante's
hell:
" Lasciate ogni sper anza, vo1· c1·
11 en t ra t"
e.
Goelforbid that any woman, in whose heart is
But after the season of gro,ving old., there
few,the time of
old age; the withered
face, the failing strength,
the bodily powers
comes, to a
gradually sinking into incapacity
for both us e-
taught that a ha sty , loveless union, stamps upon
fulness and enjoyment.
her as foul dishonour as one of those connexions
this season has its sad aspect to a woman who
which omit the lega l ceremony altogether ; and
has never married;
that, howeve r pale, dreary, and toilsome a single
ration dies out, p robab ly h as long since died out,
life may be, unhappy married life must be tenfold
retains no longer, nor can expect to r etain, any
worse-an
flesh-and-blood claim upon a single human being.
ever-hauntiug
temptation, an incur-
I will no t say but that
an d who, as her own gene-
�346
GIW'iVI NG OLD,
VVhen all the downward ties wh· h .
d 1·
.
ic give to th
ec me of life a rightf I
I!
e
u comi.ort and th .
· th
'
e mterest
Ill
e new generation which b .- ·h
.
11g tens lt with a
perpetual hope, are to h . . h
.
e1 e1t er unknown 01.
mdul 0 ·ed · h. n
,
o
m c icuy on one side Of
,
.
·
course there
are except.ions; where an aunt h b
.
as een almost
like a mother, and a Iovino· and I
bl
·o
ovea e greataun t is as importan t a personage as any grand~other.
But I speak of things in general. It
GitOWlNG
·t
be that the extreme loneliness ·which,
And1 may
. d f . off appears to an unmarried woman
viewe a a1 '
e saddest of the inevitable result s
as one of th
of her lot, shall by that time have lost all its
pain, and be regarded but as the quiet, dreamy
hour "b etween the lights;"
when the day's
·s done, and we lean back, closing our eyes,
WOl'1{ 1
to think it all over before we finally go to rest,
or to look forwarcl, in faith and hope, unto the
a condition to which a sino·le wo
o
man must
~ake up her mind, that the close of her days
Coming i\1orning.
will be more or less solitary.
best of all the
IS
3-17
OLD.
A finished life -a
life which has made th e
materials
granted to it, and
Yet there is a solitude which old age feelsto
through which, be its web dark or bright, its
be as natural and satisfying as that rest which
pattern clear or clouded, can now be traced
seems such an irksomeness to youth, but which
plainly the hand of the Great D esigner; surely
gradually grows into the best blessing of our
this is worth living for?
lives; and there is another solitude, so full of
end it may be somc·what lonely ; though
peace and hope, that it is like Jacob's sleep
servant's and not a daughter's
in the wilderness, at the foot of the ladder of
the failing step ; th ough most likely it will be
angels .
strangers only who come about the dying bed,
" All things are less dreadful than they seem."
And though at its
a
arm may guide
close the eyes that no hu sband ever kiss ed, and
�L atel y pubfo:he 1l, in 2 vols. 2 1s.
N O T II I N G
3-18
BY THE AUTHOR
"A ,voMM:'s
GROWI NG OLD.
draw the shroud k. dl
m Y over th
b reast where n o child' s
e poor withered
head has e 1 .
such a life ·
ver am · still
is not to be .f d
,
,
It d
p1 ie , for it is a com
p e e life. It has fulfilled its
.
and retu rns to th a·· .
appointed course,
e iver of all breath
gave it. Nor will He foro•e .
, pure as He
up H. . I
o tit when He counteth
1s Jewe s.
On earth, too, for as much and
as long as the
happy dead, to whom all thino-s have long been
0
made equal' n eed remember1·n
g·, sueh a 1ife will
n ot have been lived i·n vam:
.
" O nly t he memory of the just
'l'HE E:r,,·n.
OF" J OHN H ALI F AX, GENTLEMAN ,"
THOUGHTS
ABOUTWO~rnN,"
&c .
uw e cordi:illy 1·ccommend these volumes . 'l' _he 5:tm~ gr:iphie power, d~ep
ealthfu l sentiment, and mnstedy execution, wluch place that heauu ful
1
1 John
Hal ifax,' n,mong the E~lish classics, ar e everywhe re displayed ."-
i! .]t:
Chronicle.
"'fh e success which atte nded '_J ~hn Hal ifax'.' has no d~ubt !ed to_the issue of
, Nothing New,' two volumes, cons isting of a vanety of stones d1splaymg all those
\ erioi· merits whi ch have made that work one of the _most popular of the day .
~} ·e is a force and truthfulness abo ut these ta les which mark them as the pro iet1·on of no ord inary m ind, and we cordia lly r ecommend them to the perusal
dUC 1
of all lovers of fict •ion. "l~t
- os •
Al so , j ust published,
MR. ATKINSON'S TRAVELS IN ORIENTAL
AND ,¥ESTERN SIBE RIA,
1IONGOLIA, THE KIRGIIIS STEPPES, CHINESE TARTARY,
AND CENTRAL ASIA .
In one large volume , royal Svo ., embellished with upwards of Fifty
Illustrations, includ ing numerous beautifully coloured Plates, from
the Author 's original draw ings, and a map, 2l . 2s . bound .
"B y virtue alike of its text and of its pictures, we place th is book of travel
in t}le first rank among those illustrated gift-books now so much sought by the
public. It is a valuable addition to the literature of travel : it is a fam ous
conu·ibution, also, to the list of show-books for the presen t season."-Ezaminer.
RIDES AND REVER IES OF JESOP Sl\1ITH.
FARQ.UHAR
BY MAR.TIN
Sme lls sweet, and blossoms in the c!l!St."
NE 'vV.
TUPPER
.
1 vol. 10s. 6d.
"Mr . 'l'u pper's new work will do good set'Vice to his literary reputatio n. It
is writte n in a th oi1ghtfu l, suggestive spil'it, and combines with lucidity and
acuteness of ju dgment, freshness of fancy and elegance of sentiment.
In its
cheerful and instructive pages sound moral princip les are forcibly inculcateJ,
and every-day truths acqui re an ai1· of novelty, and are rendered peculiarly
at.ti_-a
ctive by being exp ressed in that sententious and epigrammatic language
wlu_ch s? la.1·gely contributed to the popularity of the author's former work,
entitled Prov erbi al Philvsophy.' "-frlurning
Post .
M~E M OIR S OF
BERA NG ER .
WlHTTEN
BY HH1SELF .
En glish Copyr igh t Ed ition . 1 vol. with Portrait .
0 R P I-I A NS .
By the Author of "
MARGARET
MA I T LAND . "
1 vol,
Londo n :-P rinted by G. BAnCLA v, Castle St. Leicester Sq.
HuRsTand
P ublishe rs, Successors to
13 Great l\'farl borough Str eet .
BLACKETT,
HENRY
CoLBURN,
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
An account of the resource
Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource
Summer Shetenhelm
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Collection
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Excerpt from 'A woman's thoughts about women'
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Craik, Dinah Maria Mulock, 1826-1887, author.
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women -- Social and moral questions.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from 'A woman's thoughts about women' printed in 1858 by Hurst and Blackett. This excerpt includes Chapter II: Self-Dependence; Chapter VII: Female Friendships; and Chapter XI: Growing Old.
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Hurst and Blackett
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
1858
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
text
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
78 pages
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
CraikThoughtsExcerpts.pdf
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
HQ1221 .C87 1858
Language
A language of the resource
English
Relation
A related resource
Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
An account of the resource
Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource
Summer Shetenhelm
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Collection
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Excerpt from 'Life Among the Piutes'
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Winnemucca, Sarah, 1844?-1891.
Subject
The topic of the resource
Paiute Indians -- Biography.; Winnemucca, Sarah, 1844?-1891.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from 'Life Among the Piutes: Their Wrongs and Claims," by Sarah Winnemucca Hopkins and edited by Mrs. Horace Mann, for sale by Cupples, Upham & Co., G.P. Putnam's Sons, New York, and by the author, 1883. This excerpt includes the cover; title page; Chapter I: First Meeting of Piutes and Whites; and Chapter II: Domestic and Social Moralities.
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
Cupples, Upham & Co., G.P. Putnam's Sons
Contributor
An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource
Mann, Mary Tyler Peabody, 1806-1887, editor.
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
1883
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
text
Format
The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource
55 pages
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
PiutesExcerpt.pdf
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
E99.P2 H7 1883
Language
A language of the resource
English
Relation
A related resource
Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
Public domain in the United States
-
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2398/SomeAccountExcerpt.pdf
a3b5cabc96e773672d8d2c8b293b76a9
PDF Text
Text
1t::,hly on thic. occ:ilion, nrd 1he cond11~ of the joint Conimittte, in ewry
p lat of the fnnl!ral ceremony, itfhc\:
il 1fi11ite ho1:our on the whole commu11:ty; :md c.tuchn lly wipe off the ••r.
lnrfion which ignurance or 111ale\'olc:1ct:
li,h fn9u·ntly thnwn on tl,1..colvnic1t,
\>''ticul a, ly that <lfJ.rn1:iic:1,rep1cLntJ1 ~ them :is :i ,>cople im;,:itic:1t of fu'>i rcl ion, r,v,rr;: to all go vernment, and
!l:1 on~ll whom a mi ld iln I viriu ou:; a.lm 1niltration alw.{1,smtcts with d1:ap porntme11t and difr1:ga1<l.
Mr.
UJ:':JA~:.
p Ropof.il s h:1ving ju!l brc n publi01ed
for prin ting b;· fuhfcript1on, fomc
pocmq writ: tn hy Phillis. ::i n~gro
1~n ant o f
M1·. W hratlt:y, of Bollon ,
be~ judges, an d is th ought quarc:
...
1'M14111tt,
wnt e them."
P . S. It is hoped (t hough it is
fo e~prc.lf.:d) _that the profiu of "~
p11bltcat1on w1,I, in t~ 01n.pl •his
• c.Jto wards purch:ifincrt'ie
" ~Cc ~
app I1e
fr
0
of t he author:
and it fo •• '. ·0:11
1
•
, • 1s not
d ou h teu.1 tl~at ev~q• ~riend
to the righ,
of humanuy will ltherally cont . ·'
. .
I I1>Ute
(i
to uc h an emanc1plt1on, both of miod
and body, from a condition alwi
1
dre1<lful, hut_ felt with double
nancy by gemus and fcnfibility. g-
eJ
po/
To the T l THE-CO~lMITTEE
the Crown and 11.nchor
in t/;e Stra,,J41
,
J
Gentfemm ,
HAYE reaJ with ~•ncommonfatif.
faclton t he adven1fcment you have
~rintcd, 1ogetht'r with the eloquer.
t
count ha~ · been
lpeech
f:u\
tJ be m~cie by one ot you
r
an:>llcr.
mt<mher~ at your tnl'eting on the 17th
" Phillis was brou~ht f1om Afric:i
of i\-1arch ; and I grc::itly hllnumthe
to A1mri:a in the y1.a,~176,, b~twt en
noble fj,izit of fn:~dom :ind p:iriiorit:
11
Ji;vc:1, anti 1.ight yc::ir~of a~e, without
hy which you foem 10 be: a8u11ed.
:any affifl ,nee from ti.hoot cduc:ttion;
Wh :nevn h:ud things a fow cyoii~I
~nd hy onl y wh:it fl1c:w'.h t111) tin
menin.,y foyof1hc p,dcnttimes, it1\
t he fdmih·, {he, in fix1ern m,,111h~
cen:ii11 that none have heen 1110,e
rrot ime fron; her a:ri,:il,
:i·n ineJ ,he
lific in meetin,.,s, :iffvc1:i1,on<,
rdolu.
l:r.,.
,1"'e,
to which
Ilic: w .1<; an
•n filh l:in'Yt1
t~
~
~
tion~, and fubfu-iptir,ns for th~ ~oodof
11ttu- fl,311"-er hc.:h,ic, to loch a deg ,ee
ou r dt I c,mntry. Th:it wifeand v1rtu.
as to ~ad ' any rite moll cliflic1d1pa, ts
ous hod y, the Supporters of tht Hillof
of the f.1cr.d w, :tir:~~, to the: g1<',H
Ri::l-ts, f., ll lc,I the way, and \\aCr~
01101 i 01ment of all who he,rd h.:1.
followed by thc Cc,,jlit11t11,nnl
Club,liy
" As to 111:1ttunt111g, h r own cu
dub s of Journeymen f a;·lors, J~:tttltJ •
r ic.ftty led li.:,· to it; anti this fhe
11/fll Cab111f/ mai.-ers, :.
rn<lJo;1m 9 t:.t1t
l c:,rn~tl i11I~, Ht>n a tiine, t ,1:it, in rue
Barbers; who all met, anll rtj'th,J,
, c11· , 76 .)I• /he w1ole a •lt:1tc r • to• die:
an I /ubfcnbed,
for the •c- •c!s of
R ev , J\11. Occ11m, 1he ln ,l1.1nm111dtu,
g r,cvancc_s,and the h~pporr of iht~rrt •
w hil e in En~ I 111d.
Ip·et111t n. Im and p1t\'1leges. ProJc8•,
" She h ~s ;1 "'
,.,,·eat inclin:ition to
too, h we Ila, te<Iup in qu:ck f~ccclfion
,
Jc11n the L.llin 10.•;::11,·, ,nd has n1,1dc:: 011e afte r anoil•er, 10 the 11nrnoml
fon,e 1ro ~1ds in 1t. 1';11;1,l. ,t.<mis
ho11011rof tlitir inventor s, and the in1,ivtn by lwr 111;dler, who ho111ghlhc:r,
ti1111e:ad1.111t:iae
of thr kiuguom•in
0
21.d "'':tit w!1;.Jmfhe now l,vc,.
g,.neral.
To Mr. M~re's rn; nu11y
Joh~1.W hc:itl<y.
it is owing lh:it our carwgc~ :ire~~111
f,,jltm, Nau. 14, 1772..
dr awn w thout horfrs ; to Mr. B J~ t
wt :ire ob!i~ d for the prcfent _r~:ifo•3:
Ar- many pt'rh:ip-; w:!I be ready to
!,It price of fith ; to the:_Alfoc,:non_
•·
(111ptc:l th ,H tlu IC p~•l''.ns.111- 1101 1c ~!ly
tht- Clnptcr Co1fc:e-ho11c wt ~n: 111•
,t.c ,v,ll111'S ot P li11!1~
, clll a11efl.1t,un
tlc hted for :he pl~nty :rn<lchc3~ncfs~f
.,
•
I
all othc:r p1oviliu11~; aJ1dlc,theillullrt•
) 1s l)t'cn p1ocurd ticc1 t H.:gon.11'(>!',
lieu l('ll,ll 1t PO\f.: I nor, ;ii.d kvtral c,th1.;-;; ous foc1l"ty of Chairmen and Haeknty
of the , ,~ll 1ef,>c1:11>1··I' rfon , in
C1>1ch111t:ll, our ,hanks arr du~ tori~e
1;.,1l,,n\ ct, 1if)·rng, Th It " th 1. poems
n
oble jlana' they 11\'.l•le
:igainJ t_.c.1."1·
• I
d 1e1e fp•-<ifit!d v.1:re ( •~ tl,,y H11,y q i:011~and opprdTil'e ddi:;n ul ruhng
brl,c~·c) written by Ph il.i, , ·t }'O\t11g
the price of potter.
fhe
anJ common co1111cilof Louilon ,:i,c
1,t.g1 o o irl, who w.1~ Lot . t fr.w ) t•ir:;
'fi11ce h1011J1t :rn unc:dtl\ ·.ttld ha, haalfo t 1k .n a large _fharc l!lt
wo, k of n:it i11nal I do11ni tion.. . )
11.1,1 from
Afric·1 ind h 1~ l1u 11, and
. :I 111
. ,flrru:ftt' I, ftltl1Mt '
ha \'C ,-, 10l·tN
,~ow i,, 111\clt1. thr d1(Hlv_anla?;t! c,f
.,
•
. h 1><.·1•in
to
a11,I re,.nn;1 ·a:rd, 'ti 1I t ey :- m
fc:1 ,·i 1 ,, "''.
(h vc 111 , fa 1 ii)' in Holto•1 ;
ir.
•
k
•
bout
t,ie
•
'
•
U
I
I
l11.1t 11,ch:11been tx.i111an·. :>)' t ie
s suk II llt'C~pill y 'Q,O O ii
tl D~
i n Nl·w J:n :,l:ind , the
follow ing acteceiveJ
from her
.
htc•f
i"
,rnu
fii':~
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
An account of the resource
Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
An entity responsible for making the resource available
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource
Summer Shetenhelm
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Collection
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
SCU Archives and Special Collections
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Some account of Phillis a learned negro girl, excerpt from 'Gentleman's Magazine, May 1773'
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Wheatley, John, -1778
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women slaves -- United States -- Poetry.; African American women -- Poetry.; African American women.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from the May 1773 copy of 'Gentleman's Magazine' titled 'Some Account of Phillis, a Learned Negro Girl.' This excerpt includes a letter from John Wheatley that describes Phillis' background and education. The excerpt goes on to explain that the writings were verified to have been created by Phillis.
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unknown
Date
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1772-11-14
Type
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text
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1 page
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SomeAccountExcerpt.pdf
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b3265346
Language
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English
Relation
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Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
Coverage
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||||osm
1700-1799
Rights
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Public domain in the United States
-
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2397/Recipe-002.jpg
f33cf4eb5ce0f2663e057054aedebffd
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2397/Recipe-004.jpg
be035f63177740a50eb3ab30e475a3ae
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2397/Recipe-005.jpg
f3124cba1dc0ab6cea515fd29ba45b38
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2397/Recipe-006.jpg
34bb0f600c86923964db22cd4aaad263
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2397/Recipe-007.jpg
bc6839199361b71dd037cd8380924af6
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Title
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Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
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Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
An account of the resource
Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
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Summer Shetenhelm
Type
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Collection
Rights
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Excerpt from 'Recipe book.'
Creator
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unknown
Subject
The topic of the resource
Cooking, English -- 19th century.; Cooking -- England -- 19th century.; Baking -- England -- 19th century.; Traditional medicine -- England -- Formulae, receipts, prescriptions -- 19th century.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from 'Recipe Book' which includes recipes titled 'Plum Cake,' 'Cure for a cough,' 'Ladies Delight,' and 'To Make Black Medicine.' A community effort across over 60 years, this unique receipt book was compiled by several women to provide a range of information on feeding and caring for families.--Bookseller's description. No title or attribution is present in the manuscript; title supplied by cataloger. A recipe written on the verso of a printed flyer with prices marked in pounds sterling suggests the contributors were in England. Dates are based on dated recipes. The earliest is marked 1822 and the latest 1886. The manuscript receipt or recipe book is comprised of 127 handwritten pages bound in. An additional 26 loose handwritten pages, some folded, are laid in at the front. The majority of recipes are written in the same hand. A few additions are in other hands. Several entries include the contributor's name. Some note the neighbor or family member. who provided them with the original recipe.
Contributor
An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource
unknown
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
1822-1886
Type
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text
Format
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1 volume (153 unnumbered pages) ; 20 cm
Identifier
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RecipeExcerpt.pdf
Source
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TX717 .R43 1822
Language
A language of the resource
English
Relation
A related resource
Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
Coverage
The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant
||||osm
1800-1899
Rights
Information about rights held in and over the resource
Public domain in the United States
-
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2396/WollstonecraftExcerptCh9.pdf
8d3ee95807df944782aef0f464f93c06
PDF Text
Text
..,
. [ 74 )
recovered the ufe of my limbs
. So
( 75 ]
de. Getting up to reach the
fhe afked me all about my misfor~ ttcu
tunes, and fent for wife, who came brown loaf, he limped very awk ..
directly , and we have lived heree\ler wardly, Mary was· j uft beginning to
fince . vV e catch fifh for Madam
, and laugh when fue refi:rained herfelf;
I watch f<)r a frorm , hopingfome for fh'e recolletl:ed tl1at his awk wardtime or other to be as kind to a pooi nefs made him truly relpecrable, becauf
e he had loft the ufe of his limbs
perilhing foul as fhe has beento
when he was doing good, faving
n1 e. Indeed we are very happy
I m1b1
· 0 11 t now have been beggingabout thelives of his fellow-creatures.
The weather cleared up, and they
the ftree ts, but for Madam, God
returnedhome. The children conble[s her.
,
A tear ftrayed down _Mrs. Mafons verfedgaily with each other all the
wayhome, talking of the poor failor,
'le a finile of benevolenc=
c h ee k > w l11
h 1·cl
andhis faithfuldog.
.a
d u her countenance- t e it e
libhte p
h hand-T heywere
girls caught eac
h fh
•
r.
·
nutes
w
en . e,
all filent a iew m1
d
··1· to tur n the difcourfe, enquir~,
C I-I A P. IX.
w11 mg
fh · thehouk:
whether they had any fid mthey were
TheI11co11venie11ces
of immoderateIn ..
,
ere produce ,
~)ome w
d they all eat to•
dulgence.
quickly d r~ffed, a~ a chearful meJI,
a~ther. 1 hey ha r.
f'ome of his
v
/l.. Jack
iuncr
u
children were allowed to
and honen
d did all he cou
rJ
th
help emfeJves to fruit when
.rt'~faring fongs, an
fs hisgra• ·it made
f
'
~ rlivcrt them and expre titude, C . r a part O their meal ; and
a10 Ille alwaystook care to pick out
E 2·
the
►
THE
�[
76 ]
the bcft, or fwallow what fhe tool
in a hurry, left fl1e fhould not get
as n1uch as ilie wifl1ed for. Indeed
fhe generally eat n1ore than her fhare,
She had feveral times eaten more
than a perfon ought to eat at one
t'itne., \Vithout feeling any iil effects,
but one afternoon fhe complained
of
a pain in her fro1nach in confequencc
of it, and her pale face, and languid
eyes, plainly !hewed her indifpofirion.
Mrs. Mafon gave her an emetic,
and after the operation fhe was
obliacd to go to bed, thoughfr!
b
.
1k
h ad pro1nifed herfelf a pleafantw2.:
th at evening. She was left alone,
for Mary was not permitted to fiay
at ho1ne with her, as fhe offeredr.o
do. H ad her ficknefs been.acC'
dental we would both have wedD
r. . i M
amufe ' her 1a1(
rs. M4afon.' buther
.1
.
'
. . a its natUf41
arcedrnefs now reccivino
b
.
fh multendure
and J·l,ft pum(hment, e
. .,.,
·
·
which
pi.1
it without the al1ev1auon
,
r.
me t11a.
affords ; only tell her 1rom , che
[ 77 ]
was but mo1nent arr,.
plpafure
...,
while the pain and confinement 1t
produced
, has already lafted fo1nc
hours.
The :-icxtn1orning, though fcarcely
recovered, !he got up, as ufual, to
havea walk before breakfaft. During
thefewalks, Mrs. Ma fon told th etn
ftories, pointed out the wifdotn of
God in the creation, and took the1n
to· vifit her poor tenants. 1'hefe
vifitsnot only enabled her to fonn
a judgment of their wants, but made
themvery indu!l:rious; for they were
allanxious that fue mibo-ht find their
houfesand perfons clean. And returningthrough the farn1-yard, Mrs.
.Mafonftoppecl according to cufton1.,
to foewhether the poor anirnals were
takencare of-t his fhe called earning
her_bre,,kfatt.1'he fcrv,1nt was ju~
feeding thc pigs, and thou o-h 1hc
poured a o-rea
c quantity
.
.b
b
~
rnto
the
trouoh
th., g1. l
O
ob '. \,. ee( Y creatures tri ed to
g ble tt up fron1one another. Catihe
E3
rolinc:
�r
78 J
rolint blu.fh ed, fhe faw this fi
t r.
, fi 1 1ght
WallCan_
ior her, and ihe
)
•1
e t atharned
of 1er glutto ny. But 1\,,- M
• 11·
•
.LVHS. i afon
v,ll rng to 1mp refs her ft'll
>
~l
h
I m~
..1 ong Y, t us addr effed h
)
.
er.
1 rov1dence , my child h .
' ."
' as g1ven
l ,S pa.ffions and appetites r.
o.. .
•·
H • vanous
purpofes
. ,
l ..1 -. two are generally obv10u~,
w11 point them out to you. Firft
to rende r our prefen t life more com
.
fortabk, and then to prepare us for
another> by inaking us fociaule be~
ings ; as in fociety virtue is ac.
quired , and felf..d enial pracl:ifed, A
n1oderate quantity of proper food
r ecruits our exhaufted fpirits, and
invigorates the anin1al funcl:ions; but,
i( v. e exceed moderation, the mind
will be opprelfed , and foon become
the nave of the body , or bothgrow
lifllefs and inactive. Employed VJ•
rjous w.-1ys>fan1ilies meet at meals,
an i there bo·ivinoup to each ocber,
b
learn i 1 the mo!l: cafy, plcafancway
to go. ,..,·n thti r appc:tites. Pigs,you
fte
.
.1
[ 79 ]
vour what they can get; but
1,e,de
fl. n ·
1 e
·r
thev have any a ecuon s, ov
men,1
,
. fl
~
I1 ir fdlow-creacures, and w1 1 or
~,l ereturn ,. nor will they, for the- fake
'
of a brutiD1 gratification, loie tnc
ctl:eem
of thofc they v alue . Befi des,
no one can be reckoned virtu ous
whohas not learned to bear povert y:
yet thofe who think n-rnch of gra~ifyingtheir appetites, will at laft: aB:
meanly in order to indt1lge thern ..
But when any employment of the
underfranding
. or {hong affecti on oc ...
cupies the mind, eating is feldom
thought a matter of gr eater impo rtance than it ough t to be. Let th e
idle think of their n1eals ; but do
you employ the intermed iate time
in a different manner, and only enj oy
them ,vhen you j oin the focial circle. I like to fee children, and eve n
men! eat cLearfully, and gratefully
recetve the bleOingsfent by I-leaven ;
yet 1 would not have the1n abufe
thofe bleffings, or ever let the care
E4
neceifary
�[
[
80
(
1~ecdf..ny to fupport the bo 1 ..
..
lY, I~u~
1e 11n1no
rt:il f~p1nt: many think ,
the _ fr1!tenancc the former craves,a~
c~tire 1y ne glect th e latter.
I hrcmarkcd to you before, that
111 t e inoft apparently trivial con.
rerns, we arc to do as ,ve would
be done by. 1'nis duty muft be
pracl:ifed conftantly; at meals there
Ph .
,tre fr~quent opportunities, andI hope,
Caroline,
I fha 11 never again fee
you eager to frcure dainties for
yourfrlf. If fuch a difpofitionwere
to grow up with you, you oughtto
live alone, for no one Jhould en_ioy
th e ad vantages and pleafores which
ar ife frocn focial intercourfe, whois
unwilling to give way to the incli
nations of others , and allow e:ich
their iharc of the good thi:ig:iof this
Jife.
You
experienced ydl-crday, chat
pain follr"
:i
1
, 1
c l · ,tt · imlulgcn.:c
;
it is al way~ the c,t1\ thounh form:~
ti1ncs not frlt fo i 11111l\.u,-.l J}' i nut
the
8l
]
fl. '
tion is infenfib]y dcftroyeJ,
rhecomutu
d ·1
aoe will con1e on, loade wlt 1
and old
r. l oft a ve1.y
. . o y ou al10
infirrn1ues.
.c. •
r.
alk
and
fon1e
fine
1ru1t.
plea11
nt w , '
. ,
We vifited Mrs. Goodwin s gar d as Mary had before con den, an
. d me that fhe could regulate
vmce
her appetites, I gave her leave to
pluckas much fruit as D_1e\vifhed;
and £he<lidnot abufe 1ny indulgence .
On the contrary, ihe fpent rnofr p~r t
of the time in gathering fome for
me, and her attention made it tafl:c
fweeter.
Coming home I called her my
friend,and ihe deferved the nan1e, for
fhe was no longer a child; a reafonableaffecl:ionhad conquered an appetite; her underfl:an<ling took the
lead, and fhe had practircd a virtn c.
The fubjecc was now d roppe d ;
but, Caroline determined to copy in
future her fifler's te1nperance and fd ftlcnial.
E5
C II 1\ P .
�
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2396/WollstonecraftExcerptCh13.pdf
a8caed7b095676632ad08f1f7bb8c0dc
PDF Text
Text
[
106
[
]
to receive mercy and kindnefsonly
f
on
t 1e· con 1t1on o your praclifingthe
·}
a· .
farne.
I a_dvife~ou to afk Betty to pard
on
your impertinence; till you do fo,fhe
fhall net affift you , yon wouldfind
yourfelf very helplefs without the affiftance of men and women-unableto
cook your meat, bake your bread,
wa!h your clothes, or even put them
on-fuch a helplefs creature is a child
-I know what you are, you perce1ve.
Mary fnbmitted-and in futureafter
fhe faid her prayers, rememberedthat
fhe was to endeavour to curb hertem-
per.
CH AP,
107
CH AP.
]
XIII.
Emplo)'mentJdlenejs produces MiJery-'lhe Cultivation ~f the F aricy
raifes us above tbe Vulgar, extends our Happinefs, and leads to
Virtue.
NE afternoon, Mrs. l\1afon gave
the children leave to arnufe
themielves;but a kind of liftleifnefs
hungover the-m, and at a lofs what to
do, they feemed fatigued with doing
nothing. They eat cakes though they
had jufr dined, and did many foolifh
thingsmerely beraufe they were idle.
Theirfriend feeing that they were irrefolute,and could not fix on any ernployment,requefted Caroline to affift
her to make fome clothes, that a
poor woman was 111 want of, and
whilewe are at work ihe added
M
.
'
,
ary
will
read
us
an
entertaini
~
1
0tale
.h
t::>
,
wh1c I willpoint out.
F 6
The
O
�,
'
""
!/~:-·:~
,,' \
\
I
I '
' l
.,•;,\·;,:
, ~ ~ ~ ~' '
t
'1
• • ' \' ''
\'
' ' '
..
!; : : t
:
:
,
•
:
'
,
f
\ •
"
\
\
~
:
\'
[
,~: ·"~"
t
'
t :
•
\'
l
\
108
[
]
\
·: :,:; ; ::, . The tale interefl:ed the h' .
. . ,,: . , . .. h
c 1ld1en
: :,.:•
w o chearfully attended and c. .'
: :. , t : , :
• •
.
,
a1ter it
was fimi'hed) Mrs. Mafon told th
. . , . . , .,,,, l
fh
em)
• )(: :·: : ·:-.. : 1at as e had fome letters to write,ihe
....
ould not take her accufl:omedwalk.
out that ilie would allow them to re-'
prefent her, and acl: for once likewomen. They received their commiffion
'
tt was to take the clothes to the poor
woman, whom they were intended
for ; learn her prefent wants ; exercife
their own judgment with refpeB:to the
im mediate relief ihe fl:ood in needo,
and alt accordingly.
They returned home delighted,
eager to tell what they had done, and
h ow thankful, and happy theyhadleft
the poor woman.
Obferve now, faid Mrs . Mafon,the
advantages arifing from employment;
three hours ago, you were uncomfort
able, without beingfenfibleof thecaufe,
and knew not what to do withyourfelves. Nay, you actually committeda
fin; for you devoured cakeswithoutf~el: : ; : ~:::
:
, :
1
1
2
10g
109
]
er merelyto kill time, w hilfE
' people have not the means
manypoor
offatisfyingtheir
natural wants . When
I defired
yon to read to me you were
r,ed. and now you have been ufeam011
folyouare delighted. Recollect this
infuturewhen yol} are at a lofs what
todowithyourfelves- and ren:1ember
thatidlenefs
muft alwaysb~ intolerable,
becau
-feit is only an irkfome confcioufnefsof exiftence.
Everygift of Heaven is lent to us
forour iniprovement; fancy is one of
thefirfrof the inferiour ones ; in cultivatingit, we acquire what is called
tafte,or a relifhfor particular em ploy ments
, which occupy our leifure
~ours
, and rc1:ife
us above the vulgar
111our converfation
. Thofe who have
not.any tafl:etalk always of their own
a~a~rsor of their neighbour s ; every
tnvial matter that occurs within their
knowledge
they canvafs ~nd conjecture
~bout-not fo much out of ill-nature as.
idlen
efs:juil:asyou eat the cakes with-out
. h
inoung
0
J
•
�[
I IO
]
[
out the impulfe of hlino-er 1 h
r.
t:: •
nte
mine fryle people talk of eat·1
' ngand
dr ef~) . a~~dlong for their mealsmerely
to d1v1d(, the dav,
bec:iufe rl~e·
1
inter.
mediate time is not employedin
rnore interefting manner. Everyne,;
branch of tafte that we cultivate,affor ds us a refuge from idlenefs,a fortr efs in which we may refifi-the af.
faults of vice; and the more noble
o ur en1pJoyrnents, the m_oreexalted
will our minds be.come.
M ufic, drawing, works of ufefulnefs and fancy, all amufe and refine
t he mind , {harpen the ingenuity;
and form, infenfibly, the dawning
judgment.-As
the judgment gains
ftrength, fo do the paffions al(o;
we have action s to weigh, and needthat
tafte in conduct , that delicate fenfeof
propriety, which gives grace to virtue.
The higheft branch of folitary amu~e•
rnent is reading ; but even in thechoice
-0fbooks the fancy is firft employe~i;
for in reading, the heart is touched,t_,U
1
HS
1I I
]
exan1ined by th e un. ~ lings are
f r.
;ts ee .
d the ripenings o rea1on
derftanding,
~n • ·
This is the
l· the 1mag111at10n.
regu,lte
and the moft important
rk ofyears,
. r .J
wo
ents
When
lire
auf all emp1oym •
bl
o ,
·r
che heart has been capa e
vances
, 1
d h
.
·no-early impreffions, an t e
b
. .
h
0f rece1v1
headof reafoning and retaining t e
1ufiions v-.hich were dr awn fro1nf
cone
frock o
m. we have acquired a h.
the '
a gold rn1ne w • icl1 we
,
know1edcre
O
can occafionally recur to, indepen dentof outward circumt1:ances.
.
The fopreme Being has ever_Ythmg
inhimfelf;we proceed fro1n Hnn , and
our knowledoe
and affections n1uft
b
returnto Him for emp loyment fuited
to them. And thofe who moft refembleHim ought, next to I-1im, to
be the objects of our love; and the
beings who1n we fhould try to affociatewith, that we may receive
aninferiour degree of fatisfacl:ionfrom
their fociety.- But be affured our
chiefcomfort muft ever arife from
the
�[
I J2
J
[
the. 1nind's 1 C\ iev~ino.
o its own
rations. - and the wl111pcrs
·r.
.
of • ope
provrng confcience to c . an ap.
.r
,
onvinceus h
11chas not flipped awa
t -:
y unemployed,
1 13
]
number of poor came to
great
little harvdl ; and fl1e was
a
crac
er
h
0
led co fee the feeble hands of
pea
.
r.
1
childhood
and age., colklbng t 11e 1C<At-
1
teredea1s,
Hone1tJack came with his fam:~!y;
andwhen the labours of the day
wt':eover, would p~ay on a fiddle,
C 1-IA P . XI ?.
thatfrequently had but three firings •
.,.
Butit ferved to fet the feet in n10 1.nnocent Am1ife;,1ents- Derc·•if>t
· r
I r f01JCJ
tion
, and the lads and la!fos dancing
a lf/eljh Crjt!e.- lliflory of a !Veb
ont~egreen fod, fuffered every care
Ilarper.- /1 tyra;1ilica/Lcm,.hrd.
'tofitep.
Fa,nily Pride.
An old '\VeHh harpe~ generally
cameto the houfe about this time
it was now harveft time,the
of the year, and ftaid a 1nonth or
n\..w fccnc, ~ nd the fineweather
r ore; for i\Irs. Mafon was particu delighted the cLilclrcn, who ran conL,l} fondof this in(b un1ent , and intinu.Jly out to view the reapers. Inter~lletlin the fate of the player;
dc~d every thing fremed to weara
as1salmofl:always the cafc, when we
face of feHivity, ancl the ripe corn
have nJcucd a pcrfon out of any
beth t,ndcr its O\\ n wt ighc, or, n1ore
clinrels.
,
erect, !hcwtcl the laughing appe2rancc
She infonne<.lthe children, that
of plenty .
one~tr.welling through \ Vales, her
Mrs. Mafon always allo,,ing t e
carnagewas ovcrturn~<l near the ruifls
gleaners to have a fotnch.nt <~u
..ntit},
Cl
a grei.t
0
".)
AS
�
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2396/WollstonecraftExcerptCh15.pdf
4a8d0645a823b22e8aea0f949a0f0dde
PDF Text
Text
[
I 20
]
hi1n, anJ exertetl myfdf to procurethe
cnlargcn1ent of the young rr.an. l fuc.
c-ce<lcd; and not only refroredhimto
his farnily; but prevailed on myfriend
to kt hirn rent a finall farm on his
dh1..t·, and I g:n e him moneytobuy
f~ock for it, and the implementsofhuf
.
ban,Jry .
'I'hc old harper's gratitude wasun.
bm.1,1dcd; the ii.:11n1c:r
after he walked
• ) \ itit n1e ; a!1d eve1 fince he hascontrive d to co1ne every year to enliven
c-ur harvefl:-hoP1e.-This eveningiti)
to be celebrateJ.
·rhe evcn~ng c.Pne; thejoyousparty
footu.l it away rnerrily, and the found
of theit {h oes was heard on the barn
floor. It was not the light fant,1ltic
toe, that fafhio.1 taught to move,but
hondl hea1t-fclt mirth, and the loud
laugh, if it fpoke the vacanthe~d,
faid audibly that the heart wasguile·
kfs.
I fome
Mrs . Mafon always gave t 1em
~
. ~
to render
trifling prcicnts at t 111swne,
lhc
[
I 2I
]
1i of winter more comtheapproac
11
o the inen, {he genera y
T
fortable.
.
l
h
refented
warm clothmg, :ncl t~ ~ e
P
womenflax and worfted 1or <n1ttrng
andfpinning;and tho~e who were the
moftinduftrious received a reward
when
the new year commenced. The
children
had books given to them, and
l'ttleornaments.- i\11 were anxious
;orthe day; and received th~ir old
acquaintance
, the harper , with the
moftcordialfiniles.
CH AP.
XV.
Prayer.-A M oon~li
ght Scene.-
Re.fignati
on.
HE harper would frequently fit
under a large elm, a few paces
fromthe houfe, and play fome of the
mo{l:
plaintive \V elD1 tunes. \V hile
the people were eating their fnpper,
Mrs.Mafon defired hin1 to l: by her
fomefavouriteairs ; an<lfhe and the
G
children
T
�[
[
I 22 , ]
children
walked round the tree under
.
wl11chhe fat, on the fl:ump·of another
The rnoon rofc in cloudlefs ·
~
and a number of fl:arstwinkled
near her. 1·he foftcned landkape·tnfpi red tranquillity, while the fhain f
~0
rutuc melody gave a pleafing melancholy to the whole-and madethe
tear frart, whofe fource could fcarcely
,
be traced.
1-.he pleafure the fightof
harn1lefs rnirth g~tve rife to in Mrs.
Mafon' s bofotn, roufed every tender
feeling-fet in rnotion her fpirits.-She
laug hed ¼ ith the poor whomfhehad
mad e happy, and wept when fuerecol
leB:cd her o,vn farrows; the illuf10nsof
youth-the
gay expeB:ationsthathad
fonnerly clipped the wings of time.
She turned to the girls-I havebeenvery
unfortunate, my young friends; butmy
griefs are now of a placi<lkind. Heavy
misfortunes have obfcured the funI
gazed at when firft I entered lifeearly attachrnents have been brokenth~ d~ath of friends I loved has(o
·n y,
Je
clouded
~
123
my days ; th at net ther the
de<l
cou
. . , nor even t h01e
r.
l
f
profpenty
O
l}e:u11s
.
of benevolenc
e, can d1ili?ate ~h1e
gloom
; but I am not. loft 1n a thtc,~
r - My fl ate of inrnd rather reO
100.
femble
s the fccnc before you, it is
quiet
-I am we~.ned fron1 the ':orld,
butnot difgufted- for I can fbll do
good
- andin futurity a fun will rife to
cheer
myheart.-Beyond the night of
death
, I hail the dawn of an eternd
day! I mention my fiate of n1i11d
coyou,t~at I may cell you what fop-portsme.
The fe.fi:ivity
v1ithin, and the pkciditywithout, led my thoughts 11aturallyto the fource fro1n whence my
comfortfprings-to the Great Befro_
wer of every bleffing. Prayer, n1y
children,is the dcareft privilege of
man, and the fopport of a frelino0
heart
w·
l
.
•
•1.ine 1as too often been
woundedbY rngrat1tude;
·
·
n1y fellowtreatures
h
I
h
~ w om 1\JVe fondly loved
aveneglecced
n1e- I ha.veheard chei;
G
2
laft
�[
I 24
]
(
1'25
)
'itudeand admiration, we 1nuit
laft figh, and thrown my evesrou d
tograt
an empty world; but h.
n
adoreGod.
..·
.
t en mor
The human foul is fo frame~, tl:at
pardcu larly feelrno-the
prer.
e
b
1ence
ofm
efsand truth muft fill it with inC reator, I poured out my r. 16 Y
dn
.
H.
iou efore goo
elfable
pleafure,
and
the
nearer
1t apim~ a-~d was no longer alone!- I
now
a1 y conte1nplate His wond
erful proaches to perfection, th e .more eard' [.
oeftly
will it purfue tho~e virtues, 1 goodnefs;
and,
thouoh
at
an
..r.I
.
b
a\vm
cerning
more clear1y their beauty.
d1ftance, try to imitate Him. Th'
.
f I.
IS
The Supreme Being dwells in the
view o t 11ngs is a fpur to aftivit·
r,
.
.
fl
an d a con101at10n 111 difappointmem. univerfe.He is as eff'entially pr efent
to the wicked as to th e good; but
There 1s 1n face a conftantinter
courfe kept up with the Creator,when the latter delight in His pre1ence,
andtry to pleaie I-Iim, whilft the
we learn to confider Him, as the
fountain of truth, whichour underftand- formerllirink from a Judge, who
is of too pure a nature to behold
jng naturally thirfts after. But His
iniquity.
-Th e wicked wifh for the
goodnefs brings Hi m ftill moreona
rocksto coverthem, ,nountain s, or the
level with our bounded capacities
- for
angryfea, which we the other day furwe trace it in every work ofmercy,and
, to hide them from the prefence
feel, in forrow particularly, Hisfatherly veyed
care. Every bleffing is doubledwhen ofthatBeing-in whofe prefence only
theycoll'ldfind joy . You feel emowe fupp ofe it co1nes from Him,and
tions that incite you to do good ;
affiiEtions almoft lofe their namewhen
we believe they are fent to corre_a, andpainful ones diiturb you, when
not crufh us .-Whil!l: we ate ahve youhave refiftcd the faithful internal
(0
monitor
. The wifer, and the better
I
G3
you
�,,,
\
I
[
l
·26 )
you grow, the more vifibl 'f1
life the expreffion .11G e, I may
. ·1,
.
, w1 od bee
_,or w1fdom conGH:si·nr1ea1
~c1111
· womeH'
out-and
aoo
r. .
o 1m
1
o c ne1s rn endea .
to copy his attributes.
vounng
1"'o attain any rhinoO'ffat
0 c
m ft b }
, a mode!
u
e
1eld
up
to
ex
ere·
r
ft .
, 11eourunder
anc~rng, and en?age our affections~
.t~ view_ of the d1fintereftedgoodnefs
of God is therefore calculatedto touch
tis more than can be conceived
by
a depraved mind. When the love
of God is fhed abroad in our hearts.
'
t~ue courage will animate our conduct,
for nothing can hurt thofewhotrufrin
1•
fiin
If the defire of accinoright
•
b
1s ever prefent with us, if admiration
· of gooclnefa fills our fouls; we maybe
' fa.id to pray conftantly. And if we
try to do ju fl:ice to all our fellowcreatures, and even-to the brutecrea
_tion; and amft them as far as we
can, we prove whofe fcrvants·weare,
,•and whofe laws we tranfcribein our
lives.
Never
(
127
]
Neverbe very anxious·, when yori
hat wordsto ufe; regulate your
pbray,hwts
and recollect:that virtue cahns
t oug ;
·
.theoaffions,gives.clearnefs to the underftanding,and opens it to pleafures
thatthe thoughtlefs and vicious have
nota glimpfeof. You n1ufi, believe
me, be acquainted with God to find
peace,to rife fuperior to worldly tempuions. Habitual devotion is of the
utmoftconfequence to our bappinefs,
aswhatofteneft . occupies the tfloughts
willinfluence our actions. Bur, obfervewhat I fay,- that devotion is
mockeryand felfifhnefs, which does
notimprove our moral character.
•Men, <l old, prayed to the devil,
facrificedtheir children to hi1n ; a·nd
committed every kind of barbarity
and.i1:1puri
_ty. But we who fcrve a longfufknng God fhould pity the weaknefsof our fellow-creatures; we mufi:
not beg for 1nercy and not fhew it;
-we rnuft not acknowledge
that we
haveo~endcd.,~ r ithout trying to avoid
G 4
doing
�[
[
]
CH A
J>. XVI.
128
doing fo in future. We are t d
0 eal
·h
·
w1t our fellow-creaturesas we
.
expect
to be dealt w_1th. This is pracliral
prayer !-Tho!e who pracl:ifeit feel
frequently fubhme pleafures,andlive!
hopes animate~them in this valedr
tears; that fee1n a foretafteof thefe..
licity they will enjoy, whentheunder
..
ftanding is 1nore enlightened,.andthe
affections properly regulated.
To-morrow I will take youtovifit
the fchool-miftrefs of the village,and
relate her itory, to enforcewha
tI
have been faying.
Now you may go and danceoneor
two dances ; and 1 will join youafter
I have taken a walk, whichI wifhto
e1tjoyalone~
CHAP,
1,'he
Benefitsarziji ng firom D evotion.-l
be Hijfory of the Village Sebo~ ...
.'I'..
"r, Fatal Effectsof Inattention
miftre_;
s.to Expences,in the Hijlory- of Mr.
Lofty.
T
HE next morning Mrs. Mafo.n
defiredthe children to get th~ir
work,and draw near the table wh1lfl:
!herelatedthe promifed hiftory; and
in the afternoon, if the weather be
fine,they were to vifit the village
fchool-miftrefs.
"Her father, the honourable Mr.
Lofty,was the youngeft fon of a.
noblefamily; his educatio·. had been
liberal,though his fortune was ftnall.
HisTelation
s, however, feeme<l determinedto pufh hi!n forward in life,
before
he difo~ligedthem by marrying
GS
the
�
Dublin Core
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Title
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Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
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Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
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Women's literary history and culture
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Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
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Summer Shetenhelm
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
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Title
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Excerpt from 'Original stories from real life with conversations, calculated to regulate the affections, and form the mind to truth and goodness'
Creator
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Wollstonecraft, Mary, 1759-1797
Subject
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Didactic fiction, English.; Moral education -- Fiction -- Early works to 1800.;Women -- Education -- Fiction -- Early works to 1800.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from 'Original stories from real life with conversations, calculated to regulate the affections, and form the mind to truth and goodness' printed in 1791 for J. Johnson. This excerpt includes Chapter IX: The Inconvenience of immoderate Indulgence; Chapter XIII: Employment--Idleness produces Misery; and Chapter XV: Prayer--A Moon-light Scene--Resignation.
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Printed for J. Johnson, no. 72, St. Paul's Church-yard
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1791
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text
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26 pages
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WollstonecraftExcerpt.pdf
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PR5841.W8 O7 1791b
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English
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Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
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||||osm
1700-1799
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Public domain in the United States
-
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2395/MontezBeautyExcerpts.pdf
4519c386a21e2223f191701291c3b21a
PDF Text
Text
ARTS OF BEAUTY.
CHAPTER I.
FEMALE
BEAUTY.
" Look upon this face ,
Examine every feature and proportion,
And you with me must grant this rare piece finish'd .
Nature, despairing e'e r to make the like,
Brake suddenly the mould in which 'twas fash ion'd;
Yet, to increase your pity, and call on
Your j ustice with severity, this fair outside
Was but the cover of a fairer mind ."
MASSINGER'S
Parviament of I.01Je.
Ir is a most difficult task to fix upon any genera l
and satisfactory standard of female beauty, since forms
and qualities the most opposite and contraidictory are
looked upon by different nation s, and by different individuals, as the perfection of beauty. Some will have
it that a beautifnl woman must be fair, while others
conceive nothing but brnnettes to be handsome . A
Chinesebelle must be fat, have small eyes, short nose,
high cheeks, and feet which are not longer than a
man's finger. In the Labrador Islands no woman is
beautiful who has no ·: black teeth and white hair
19
�20
THE
ARTS OF BEAUTY.
21
F DIAL E BEA 'GTY·
In Greenlan
. th
. d and. some other norther n couLtries
women
pamt then· faces blue, and some yeIIow• Some
' e
.
n a t 10ns squeeze the head s of children bet .
.
.
'' ce.n &oar
ds
t o mal'"e them squ,are, wlnle others prefer th h
sugar-loaf
as the hio·hest
t,·pc
of beau ctys J.'ape
of a
.
o
J
tOr that
important top-piece to the "human form divin " S
that ther e is nothing tru er than the old pi· ~b· 1
" tl . .
.
OVCl , t lat
101.e . 1s no. accountrnofor
ta
stes
,,
'r1i·
~
·
·
1s <l'Lffcrence
?fopuuon with respect to beauty in ,ariou s countries
1s, ho" ·e,er, principally confined to color and form, and
may, undoubted ly, be traced to na t ional habits and
customs. Nor is jt fa,ir, perhap s, to oppose the tastes
of uncivilized people to the opinions of civilized nations.
But tllen it must not be overlooked that the standard
of beauty in civilized countri es is by no means ao-recd
. l
o
upon. IN 01t
1cr the bu,ona,roba of the Italian s, nor the
Zinda of the Spaniard s, nor the embonpoint of the French,
can fully rea ch th e myst ical standard of beau,ty to the
eye of American taste . And if I were to say that it
con ists of an indescribable combination of all these,
still you would go beyond even that, before you would
he cont ent with the <lefinitiou. Perhap s the best clcfiuit ion of beauty ever given, was by a French poet,
who called it a certain je ne sais qnoi, or, I don't k 1w11
°
1
wliot !
'fhc following classical synopsis or female beauty,
which h as becu attributeu. to Fclibien, is the best I
reroembcr to have seen :
" The head should he well rounded ancl look ra ther
inclining t o small t han lar ge.
" The forrhe n.d white , smooth, and open ( not with
the hair growing down too deep upon it) , 11cithc.r fb~
. lt but lil·e th e head well rounded, n.11I
nor pro:mne, ,
, \.
,
rather small in proportion t ha.n lar ge.
"Tllc hair cithel' black, bright l>rown, or n.nhurn ,
not thin, but full and waving, and if i t falls in mode~
rate curls, the bett er-t he black i;:; parti cnh1rly n<:dnl
in setting off the whiteness of th e neck and skin.
"The eyes b lack, chestnut, or blite ; clear, bright ,
and }iye}y, an<lrat her large in proportion t han small.
" The cycl>rows ·well divided, full, sctllicircular, and
broader in the middle than at th e end ·, ora neat tm•n,
but not formal.
"The checks should not be wide, shouhl lrnYe a
degree of plumpness, with the r ed a11cl wh ite ii1wly
blended together, ancl should look firm and soft .
"T he car should be rathe r small, well foldeLl, a11cl
ba\~e au agreeable tinge of reel.
"Tll o nose should be phcc d o as to di ride the face
into equal parts ; shonld be of a moderate size, st raight.,
a.nclwell squarct1, though somet imes a litl lc rising in
the middle, which js ju ~t pcrcci,·ablc, may gi r o a ,cr y
graceful look to it.
"Th e mouth should be small, and th e lips not of
~qual thickness ; th ey shouhl be well t urned , small,
~a~llCr than gross, soft cYcn to the eye, and ,,i th a
ltvmn·
.. U10 111; a truly pr ett y mouth is like a roseo red . rn
bi~cltha~ i q beginning to blow. The t 0eth should ])e
uucldlc-~1zct
1, white, well r ancrcd 8.nd e-vcn
,, The chin of a modcr:t e size whi.te ~oft ..,ncl
t!"' •
l. }
7
n
t- 1CCau Y rounded.
IC 'I'I
"C neck shC\
uld bc w lli· t C; st r~1
in-ht
and of " 0 rt
V
'
J
'
'-'
u,,
...
~
•
�22
THE ARTS OF B EAUTY.
FE:.\fALE BEAUTY.
easy, flexible make ; rathe r lon°·
than short J S" b •
0
•
•
, e ~ a eve
antl
mcreasrng
gently
to,vards
the
shoulder
s . h'
1
·t
d
d
1·
f
·
' t e
w.11 eness an
e 1cacy o its skin should be continued
or rather go on improving to the bosom • tl1c s1·· · '
,
-..111
ill
general should be white, properly tinged with red and
a look of thriving health in it.
'
. "The shoulders should be white, gently spread, and
with a much softer appearance of strength than in
th ose of men.
" The arm should be white, round, firm and soft,
and more pa rticularly so from the elbow to the hands.
" 'l.1hchand should unite insensibly with the arm • it
'
should be long aud delicate, and oven the joiuts and
nervous part s of it should be without either any hardness or dryness.
" The fingers shoultl be fine, long, round and soft ;
small and lessening to the tips, and the nails rathel'
long, round at the end s, and pellucid.
" The bosom should be white and charming, neither
t oo large nor too small ; tho brea sts equal in roundness
and firmness, rising gent ly, and very distinctly separ atc cl.
" The sides should be rather long and the hips wider
than the shoulder s, and go down rounding and lessening grad ually to t ho knee.
" 'l1he knee should be even and well rouudcd.
" The lco-s strai o-ht but varied by propor rounding
o
o
l
of tho more fleshy par ts of them, and finely turncc,
white 1 and small at t he auklo."
It i~ very fo1tunate , however, for the hnmai~ rnrc
tliaL ~Jl men do not have exact ly a correct tast e !ll thc
f •r th had a fatal clCQTCC
matter ,)f female beauty, or I
ey , '1 h uld '"')OS·
of strife would be likely to ensue as to w 10 s o
I _I
scss the few types of perfect beauty, Tb:. old ma~1" l~
rejoiced that all did not sec alike, a; if they ,d1~1,al1
wonId be after his wife, was not far Ot1v of the ~a ) .
�IIOW '!0 GET A GOOD IlEAD OF HAIR,
.
A d the mornincris the best tim3 for an
·ttl hair
n
o
h . .
bl'l e
· . .
f the bru ·h becau se the air 1s
ded application o
· '
.
exten
'
I then tban at any other t11nc.
t l"' lly more supp c
•
.
1 ll
on._u••. t' thorouo·hly persevered in, will grn.( na y
Tluspi ac ice,
n
l
tl . . , some
1e 1,orcn1)inc hen.cl,un css
101 c b
tl
tame c1own
.
.
tl f ll ,. o
.
,,
of
the
scalp
m
which
case
10 o o" rn~
scurfy(11se~h,e
'
sure remedy :wash "1..·11be found 'a auitc
...
CIIA PTER XXI
now
TO ODT.\.IX A GOOD IlE1\.D
OP IL\.IR.
T:aE foundation of a o-ood head 0 c 11 . .
1b
l
au ouo11t In◄
uouute dly to be la.id iu infancy At t1, . t <lo l
d
t11s cu er ao-r
a_n. thro ugh all tho years of childhood, it shouldob~
" o1n sh~rt , be frequently cut, and never allowed to o-o
a day w1th~at a thorough brushing. It shoulclal;
every mornmg, be washed at the roots with cold wa~
tor. A_ <lamp sponge, rnhbc<l thoroughly upon the
scalp, will ~c sufficient. 'l1ho practice of combingthe
heads of children too frequently with a fine tooth comb
is a ba<l one, as the points of the tooth are quit.csure
to scratch and irritate the scalp, and are almost sure to
pr oduce scurf or dandruff. Indeed, these rules, except
as to tho lengt/1,of tho hair, arc quite as applicableto
adults as to childr en. 'l1he ladies of my acquaintance,
who have been most cclcbratcc.1for the beauty of their
hair, usually made a practice of thoroughly cleansing
its roots e,-ery morning with tho damp sponge. .Kor
would they venture to neglect the frequent use of
tbc brush. Ind eed, the coarsest, most refractory, and
snar ly lo cks can be subdued, and made compnrativcly
sofL antl glossy by tho use of tho brnsh alone. Constant brusl1,ir1gis the first rule to subdue coarse and
,1
<.,
Si
•
83
Saits of tartat· • • •
Tincture of canth:uidcs •
Spirits of camphor • ·
Lcmonjuicc.
• · ·
.
. .
3 dr~chms.
lS drops.
l ;3 drop'.;.
• t
.,1 pm.
In preparing this wash, the s~lts should be cli~.;;olved
inthe lemonjuice, till the cffervescense ceases, and then
add the other ingredients ; and, n.fter Jetting tho Vt·holc
remainexposed to the nir for ha1f an hour, it may be
perfumedaml bottled for use. This is one of the best
and most harmless washes for the hnir I have ever
known. I am certain that a lady or gen tlcman h1s
but to try it to ho c01winrcd of its efficacy. But let
me impress upon you the importanc e of bruslli11gas a
cal'dinnlmeans of beautifying the bair. Brnsli not one
minnte,but tcn---notonce a day , but two, or three, or four
t:mcs a day.
Two brushes arc ::irlispcnsablc for the toilet-one for
the rough nsc of cleaning tho hair, nncl the other for
po1ishingit. A b1a.ck brush shonh1 be used for the
former,ant1 a white one for th(' lnttc r. L::ulic"' need
1wt be told that washing ~roils hrushes. The way to
clean them is tn rnh them thoron~hl.\· ,vith bran, which
removes all the grrasc, and k1,c" the br1sl10sstiil' and
�84
'l'HE
ARrs
OI,' BF,....L'1'Y.
~rm as ever. ,Yh eu the bristles of a br .
lunber for nsc, they may be l. ·d . ,
u~hbecometoo
.
uat e,1cd ao-amb a· .
th cm rn
one part of spirits of
. o
Y ipprng
,'
,
ammonia and t . f
ter . l his will also tborouo•hly cl
', I "o o wa.
greasy substances.
b
en.use t 10111fro.nall
CIIAPTER
XXII.
TO PREVEXT THE IlAIR FROll F.ALLIXG OFF.
A RE.\rEDY for weak aud falling hair ha,s been sou~ I. t
for by beautiful women, and by men too, with as muc;h
aridity as ever the mad euthu iast sought for the
philosopher's , tone.
I have known ladies who did
nothiug·bnt to huut recipes for baldness.
'rhc knowledge of all their friends, especially if they were physicians, was laid under perpetual c;ontrilmtion for
light on the great subject of ktir.
I knew an olcl
countessin Paris-or who was at least fearfully grow ing old-who became really a monomaniac on this subject; she uscc.lto rattle on abont the "bulb ~ of the
hair," the " apex of the hair," and talk as lcc.rnodly a:-i
a whole college of doctors of the Yarious theoric:-,of
the nature of the disease and the rcmecly. Some quack
hall recommended her to use caustic alkalies of soda, or
potnJ1-whi<.:hby the way I have known to be advi ·ec.1
by phy::;icinnswho ought to know bett er- which completely dill the business for her heal1, for, they not
onlydestroyed the reproduclivc power, bet n.l.:;othe color
of what hair they left upon her head. r,o tit at thi"i
unhappy countess was not only hopelessly grey, but
she was o0·1·0\"1·110•
' ·"l<l, • d· • 1• J
, ·1
·
'' o u..~ I.!1 •': uy cay, no~,.,1t 1stantlm -,.
0
f-o
�1JO
TIIE ARI'S OF DEAUTY.
if t)1is c:q eriment produces an,· s,·m .t
,.
l
1
.
.,
J
P
oms
01 head
ac c, 1t betlcl' be discontiuued at oucc.
·
But a.n Ca$y auc.lnatural way of ,rar<lino· o"" ..·
·" f
.
b
u \\ 11nkle~
l::i l'Cqucnt al.Jlut1011,
followcu by·i)rolono•cd
f·· t·
.~
•
~
l IC 1011W1th
a clry n_~pkrn. If a _fa<lyis a liLtlc adrauccd toll'ards
the pcuod when IITlllldcs arc naturnlly expectedto
make then· appearance, she should use tepid water
rnstcau of cold, in her aLlutions.
t h[lt
IIINTS TOGENTLE:\IE~
T II E A R 'I' 0 F :b"'"'i.S O I .l 1i. r_i~ I X G .
TO RE:,\!OVE STAIJ\'S OR SPOTS FRO~I SILK,
IF a lady Irns the rni~fortnnc to stain a s:lk dress,the
following preparation will remove the stain without
injnrin g the silk.
Tak e five ounces of soft water and six ounces of
alum ,, cH poundccl ; boi I the mixture for a short time,
then pour it ill n, ,·cssel to cool. Previous to using it,
it must be macle warm, ,rh cn the stn.incd part maybe
wa~hccl with it and left to dry .
TO RJ!::\fOYE CRE.!.:=m FRmr
!=:ILKS
.
"\Vash the sf ilcd part with ether, and the greasewill
11isappcar .
I
the grat itude of the whole mascu. O'Clll1Cl'
tl 1e~c
hnc
" rules of the ART OF F.\::;c1x ATIXG .
It u~~d to be supposed that this art lJclougccl cx~lusively to my sex ; but that was n. ,ul gn_rerror, which
the ~harp pr,lctiec of the mcm has long smcc exploded .
And it i;-;now well e tablishctl that gcutlcmcn spc!1d
a great llca.l more time in inventing ways aud mc-1ns
to entrap women a11d get them in lo\'e with them,
than wo111eudo i!l trying to win the hct~rl::; uf
gentlemen. Love niaking, indeed seems to be the
'· h~i1ir-';-;
end u1H.lu.:t1:, or man. lie appears to thiuk
0
lhaL he was horn for no other purpose, aod he c1c,otcs
himself Lo the busi11cst:i
witli a zeal mill au c11th11
siasm
highly houorablc to hi:; exalted geniu-;, a.ud to the
immortn,lstatio n he claim~ for him:;0lf of b0iug lh0 lord
of reation.
EXPECT
to
will
1
- •
u)
'l'o L~coU10a, profieicut iu the art of fasciun ting,
101
�102
103
HJXT
"' T 0
:::>
GEXTLE111EN
therefore, h not merel
.
b t 't .
y an accompltslwi
ent , d
. u 1 is a du,ty which h
an a pasti'm(.
l
.
c .nay not n o-1
ncurrrng the ,::-i
oTave st ccnsm.c
. . o··,:ma 1·· dct>ect without
11
upon the study of this g1cat
..
t
and i\ll1 • , In entcl'io()'
o
start corr ectly , 110 must take it fmpo1
tant art t0
,
,
women ar c not ouly , cry , .
Ol grunted that
poor Jud" esof
t h ey ubsolut ely prefer fops f 1 o
I~cn, but that
f
' oo s, au<l tnflers t
o souse and ch::ua ctc1·· · l f 11owever th , ' o men
douLLs on thi s subicc;t lie' b"d ,, t ' e student has
I
J
u,
0e ter refer t
.
car nccl au thori tics which will not f· .
o ~ertam
mind in the riglit premisc8 ~,r l· ail_to establish his
Laye
.
.
"· m.ac '"oni to says "women
a pr edtlcct10n for frivolous men " 0
most learned of the Briti sh Essa)'ists s~,·s ,:1e
hof the
8,
f •11 I
J ,
w en we
·at ive' f u11of rns1
. .p1d
. life
. and
l ce a c °'" oud and tall...
augh ter, we may venture to pronounce him a~ ' I
"·
·t "
"\f
, 1ema e
w.v.on c.
.o r. Burke tell s you tha.t "the character
wlucll generally passes for agreeable with the womenis
nrn~e up of civilit.y ~nd falsehood." And if poets
we1e of any authonty m thi s high ar t, I mio·!Jt
referto
0
Dryden, who sino·s0
l
"O ur thou g h tless se.x is ca ught by outward form
And empty noi se-v .nd loves itself in rnan."
If these learned authoriti es fail to satisfy the mindof
my pupil s I shall beg to refer th em to the works of Sir
"\Valter Raleigh aud Lord Chesterfield, who arc very
<;opious on thi s subject . But as they progress in the
exp erimenta l part of the art, th ey will learn to rely
less on au thoriti es, and tru st more to their own experience ancl skill. Ind eed I have seldom met with a
man who did not consider himself, in his way, such n.
0 ~ THE ART OF :FASCI~ATI~ G.
t ·t
y be wast inoroficicntin this sublime ar t t h a l ma
.. "
o
~iroe to dw<11at all upon tbe subject of aU,tkoritws.
RULE THE FIRST·
Set it down, then, th at the women prefer triflers to
men of sense, and \Ybeu you wish to make one of the
sex tremendouslv in love with you, you will of course
make yourself ; s big a fool ns possi ble, in order t o
ensure the most speedy and triumph ant success. Yon
will do this not only because women prefer such charac ters, but you will also consider th at so little do the most
sensible and fascinating women kno w of the ir own
power, that , Nero-like, th ey will only sto p to catc h
flies and gnat s.
Your hope of complet e success then, Les in yonr alJility
to be a coxcomb, who bn,s no earthly recommendatio n
but his face, his coat, aud his impudence. 'l'o acqu ir e
pleasing and fascinat ing man ner s yon will tlo \\·ell to
spend about half of your time between ihe curli ngirons and the looking-glass, so as to become th e parago n
described by 1Ir. Tennyson.
" Oiled and cmled like au Assyr ian bu ll,
Smellin g of musk an d inso lence .,:
RCLE THE SECOXD.
You ~vill 111
;.1.kean immense hit ,vith t he ladies by
prctcndrng to be no n.<lmire
r of any part icular woman,
bn_
t a pro.fesseL
1 adorer anc1 slaYe of t he whole sex ; a
tlnng wl11c!
1 yon can easily show by staring insult ingly
at nvery pretty won:an yon meet. This will also be
�10-i
HI~TS TO GEXTLE1fEN
following the analo o·y of 11 t .
d th
.
o
a u1c, as we know tl t fl
an o er disgusting insects molest th
. ia eas
tendere st skins and fairest co 1 . ose "ho have the
mp e:xtons J·ust
human flesh-flies haunt th f .
'
as the
'Th
e a1rer part of , , .
en , as you arc not a
t. l
creation.
lover th l a·
.
p ar ,ZCU ar, but only a crener
al
'
e n. ics will reo·ard
it as a t· b _b
O
re · tl f
sa e nsrncssto
ce1ve rn ract ional part of your heart I . I .
belon <r to th
·
.
w He 1 m!O'ht
o
. . cm, Just as a popular notion prevails
t
homeopathic doses of medicine arc lzarmless to sa tla
1
least .
'
Y c
th
RliLE THE TTIIRD.
You
have no h'o·l
,
. . will
. do
. well to boast that you
,
lb lCl
.\111b 1L10n 1n life than merely to render yourself aureeable
to the ladies. 'rhi s \vill at once impress them wfth profound respect for the magnitude of your arubition,au<l
the majesty of your genius. Every woman will be
crazy to marry a man of such splendid prospects ; and
the whole sex will be most happy to avail themselves
of the serv ices of so aimn.blc antl useful a gentleman.
But let me caution you not to give the slightest heedto
those cast -iron, sneering kind of men who out of jealousy,
will say th at you were framed by nature to be a woman's
fool, and who will further seek to anuoy you hy saying
that the ladies change th cil' lackey-lovers as often as
t hey do their bonnets, because they soou get tired of
them.
RULE THE FOURTH.
I f you can affect effeminacy and a lisping softoe~:;iu
your speech it \Yill go a grc:it way towar<}Swinning
the confidence aacl esteem of a scnsiiJle and Iorcly
Let Your conrersn.tiou m rcr rise out of 1he
J
•
1
.
'l'he
. l f i-,,lls l)arties fc.1.
sh1ons aud t 1c opc1a .
' i:
'
. t
le1it:. o ·11u...,
be not on ly a, pl cas in r,· !Jut n,n :.1.ppropriac
operaw1,
. ;:,
.
, 1, 1·,, .
I' ,
'
rs it \\'ill assOCltLLC \'OU 1(1 tile tU ,; ;_.,
tncmc ior ) on, a
., ' .
. .
mind with the charmiug sul>jcct of nw,s1,r,
, r cmtndlllg
1
her tlw.t qua,cr~ and un1ue,rni:1g words arc :Jl\\"a} 8
\\ 01n::ln .
I
softer than its moro mrtnly parts.
RULE 'l'JlF, FIFTH.
By all means wear j ewelry ; if yon have it not of
your own, borrow it, or get it some other ,Yay, for you
must be sure that you go not into the pr esence of a.ny
woman,"·hose good opinion is \\·orth hasin g, \Yithout
being loaded with jewelry . An imrncn:;c brc<1,s
t-pin,
either of diamonds or paste, with two rings on each
band and n, heavy fob chain, h\'elvc inches long will be
snfficicut to prorc that you are a ma.n of snlJstantia l
gooc1sense, and that you arc the posscs:-,or of a heart
which is worthy of the confidence and admiration
of any woman.
RU,F.
THE
Sl:S.TU.
Remember that faiut heart never won fair lady yet,
and that, U1ercforc, you mu ·t push your suit with the
determination an,1 ,ch cmcncc of an arrnv of soldiers
-tanning n. fort . \Vomeu 1iko men of c;nrno·e
there 0
fore you should entertain the lady you would
with
H nn.rra.tic
n of Lhcnumber of men you ha vo knocked
t:~wn, at bulb um1 bar-roo11ts, who had the temerity to
~,oss your patl~ Be sure th,tt you always ma..keyour~
:selfth~ hcrp of some sc:·ape, for, notwithstu.m1ing the
5*
win
�106
107
O)l' THE ART OF FASCI:\f.ATI~G.
HI NTS TO GEN-'LF.1.fE~
ladies
will readily know th n,t you are tcllin()'r
rime, yet
you show ihat you 1
, o l, s all the
and that yon r eally r)ossess "11t1havea t.aste for fightinorr
·
,~
e att nb t
,.
b ut the more brutal part of 1·t - couran-eu cs or n, hero
1
'
RliLE
0
.
THE SEYEXTB.
Remember that we do not like men fo.1 th
.
ma c1·
· ·
e ment we
y . rscover m them, so much as for that the c
~nd 111 us; thc_refore be sure that no man out-faw1~
in
)
L the attentions
.
. paiu to the wornan of your choice
·kecl a c"
ter tbat.
Iet your compliments be of so m"1
u,
• Lrnrac
t rnre can be _no mistaking them . l1'or instance you
may ask her if she is alwnys pa rti cular to shn't h .
eyes ~n ret iring to bed? She will ask why? A:~
yo~ will answer, B ecaU,s
e if yo1&do not, I fear tliatthe
briglt;ncss of 7101&reyes wi~l bi_&rn liolesin the blanket, or
set t,te lw11,scaflte ! This kmd of compliment is of
th e most delica te nn.tnre , and will be certa in to impress
the lady , especially if she is a person of sense, with the
sincer ity and pu ri ty of your intent ions.
r::
RULE 1'IIE EIGHTH.
You cannot be too attentive to your dress. You
shoulcl never app r oach a la dy except when dresscrl so
as to look pre cisely as though a tailor had made you
not more than fifteen minutes before. Be careful that
your figu re is consulted in tLe color and fit of youl'
garmcuts . I f you arc tall and lank, wear nothing but
Llack, that you may " appear like a stick of IJ!ackscaling-wax ," \Yhich will impress the ladies with an idea of
the adhesive quality of your nature. If you a;e sh~r:
and dumpy, and "bette r m.a<le for rolling t 1an 01.
l handsome in light
.
.ll • ,, you will look part1cu1ar Y
0
1unn1 01
r.
or grev clothes, which will greatly enhance your
/t
If '-'Ourleo·s
are sm:11land crooked, clo no
O
rotunc11y.
J
l
fail to have your pants cut to fit a little tighter t wn
your skin, as this will show to great advantage tl'.c
delicacy of your proportions, while, n.t _the same tnnc , _it
will familiariie a la.dy'8 eye to tho sight of those c1lsgnsting spiders, which, otherwi o, might ~ause grc~t
mischief by sudden frights. 1f you arc wise, you will
not fail to impress upon a lady's mind the ic1ea that you
n.rea great deal more particub .r about your clothes than
your mind, for your mind, being al ways out of t>ight, can
ncrnr offend her taste, w hercas your clothes are con-
,,11:
stantly before her eyes.
RULE
'IHE
NINTH .
On being introdnccd to a lady you will immediately
inform her that you consider that the prop er studr of
mankind is womanI and that Por)c was therefore wrono·
~
when he asserted it to be man. Y on will proceed to
say that you have m:1dc the sex your study so ]on6
that yon find it impossible to withdraw your mind from
n. constant inspection of everything a lncly sn,ys and
l1oes. This she will r eceive as a great comp1iment paid
to her sex, whlle it will be pa.r ticnhrly pleasing to her
lo know I hn.t she has snch n, C(Hnpctcnt and vigil~.nt
spy npon nll her nctions.
�108
ON raE
HINTS TO
ART OF FASO:NATING.
109
a E~trLE;\fE:f
RULE THE TWELFTH.
RULE THE TE~TH.
If you arc invited to dine, go at least an hour, or au
hour and a half before the time, for then the lady "ill
be sure never to fo rget yon, as the attent ive and polite
gentleman who allowed het· neiLher time to dross nor
.
' to
t o supermtend
her dinner. Or, if it is not convenient
go so long beforehand, you had best not go till twenty
minutes, or half an hour after the time, and so keep the
dinner waiting, for this will get the lady in the habit
of th inking of you when you arc absent, which is a
great point gained in the progress of love. But, under
no circumstances mnst you anive at the place about
five or ten minutes before the dinner hour, for should
you do so, the lady will be reminded of the vulgar
showman, who cries -" Bo in time, be in time-just
to beo·in-bc
in time."
g oino0
0
"
11 upon a lady be sure that yon say
Wh en you ca
'
· bl
.
·t and make some local hit applwa e
"orocthmo-sma1 '
h 1
:, h lfo For· instance if you perceive thats e 1as a
to erse .
'
h t
ay that vou arc sorry to bear t a ' as
S
wuuli you cu.n
J
br
o: f~ar it mr.y lead to a coffin. Some such su ime
~
th · ·n be sure to obta in you a favorable
Joke as 18 wr
1 bl
.
,_•on Or vou can entertain her, to a remars<a "':e
lC CCp lil
•
J
f . d
degree, by relating the number ~f ~our female ncn s
who have died of consumption w1thm a yoar, and you
<'an wind up by quoting the following words of :Moore ;
" I never had a dear gazelle
To bCT
lad me with its mild blue eye,
But when it came to know me well
And love me, it was sure to die."
This will make her part icular ly anxious to be con•
sidored one of your " female friends."
R uLE THF. ELEVEXTII.
:Much depends on your conduct at tho table ; for
]; 1dics arc yery observant of all such little affairs. T0
o·ivo one a good idea of your gentility, take your nap·
and tic it round your neck as a "bib," turn up y~ur
11 to , withont pnyino·
nttcntwn
coat sl ccvcs, an d f ".....
. o any
.
to the lady who sits next you, for laGheslike not to bt'
disturbed at mcaJs. To show that ~ou relish your fo,~~~~
let your mastica,tion be quite a ud11Jle
, and wl:cn ~ -d
.· 1, to a lad)' say ,: here's luck," smack your lips,_au
d 1111
.._
,
,
•
•
·altc<lidea
er "ha !'' Nothing gtves a lady a more ex
.
o/ a mn,n tlrnn to see that lie is fond of good eat111.:,
kin
(l'
.an<l <lrinkiHg.
RULE THE THIRTEENTH.
If you invite a lady to go to the theatre , neglect not
to loa,o.her, and go out to drink with your male friend s
between each act, as this wil1 show her that you have
oonfidencethat she can protect Lerself ; and if yon cau
foll asleep during tho play, it will be a great thing for
you. as it will show that you are too much interested
in her t o take any interest in tho play ; and , besides,
sho has the sweet privilege of imagining that you are
dreaming of her. N othiug ::;ofascinates a womau as· to
kn.owthat a gentleman dre ams about her. Hence you
�110
HINTS TO GEN'rLEMEN
will do well to always pretend that vou dre
d
.
J
amc
of ht:r1
w l1eth or you did or not. No matter 1·r sh
d
v . .
.
·
e un erstauds
,/our falsehood, as she will be quite sure to do for still
she cannot help being flattered that you th·mk' so much
of her that you will tell her falsehoods to please her
RULE THE FO URTEENTH.
It will be greatly to your advantage to entertain the
lady you would win with an account of the number of
women who are in love with you, and of the decided
u.dv.ances which they have made to you; for this will
not only prove that you are a great favorite with the
ladie s, and a man of true honor, but it will convince
her that she may have the honor of being enrolled in
the same list, and of being praised in the same way,in
the presence of your other female friends. This will
greatly delight her, and you need uot be surprised if
she testifies her admiration of your clrnracter by throwing her arms around your neck on the spot. And if
afterward s you should hear of her having said that you
ought to be /ia,nged,you will, of course, understand tha,t
she wants to use her own lovely arms for the iialter.
RULE THE FIFTEE~TII.
One of the most direct and sure ways to fascinatea
lady is to excite in her heart a spirit of rivalry, through
·
tl 11
·s 1·s t o get the
jealou' sy. A common way of doing
.
dagu erreotype s of your father's cookand cJv.1,rn
bennaid,
and take them to your lady-love, and tell her tlt1.t thcy
are the likenesses of two very ::-ichand highly respect-
n.,,
ON TIIE Ar,~
OJ!' FA SCIN ATING.
111
f . a lono· time persecuted you
able ladies who _hav e od1 t las~ have had the indeli4
• th · • affections an a
·
. . •
wit1l cu
.._, '.. ·1cturcs without any sollc1tat10n
t send you i,nca p
'
.
cacy o
h
. 'l1his story will reac11ly be
our part w atcve1 .
.
.
on. Y
. body knows that nck and respedable
believed as every
.
d .t
.
'. in t he habit of doiug ju ~t such thmgs, an 1
lachesai e
, . a priz e
will certainly convince a.nylady t 11at you a1e
.
especially as she foresees that she would
worth h n.vrng,
'•
1
buve the plea sur e of having her homo filled with a c_a:inct of strange women's faces, which she could exhibit
as the proud savage docs the scalps her husband h as
taken from the heads of his enemies .
RULE TIIE SIXTEENTII.
If a lady you admire happens to make tho acquaintance of some gentleman of superior attainment s and
position to yourself, make yourself as boorish to him a8
possible, whenever you meet him in her company, for
thi s will be sure to increase her admiration of yo'll,,and
cause her to despise liim. Aud then, the moment he
leaves, you will be able to demolish him entirely by
assailing his character-mak ing him out a ra scal, a.
rouc a.ud a libertine, of the very blackest dye ; and.
fail not to believe t hat the blacker you paint him, the
whiter you will look yourself. This course canno t fa,il
to bring her to her sense , and convince her what a fool
she has made of herself by taking such a ruffian and
scoundrel for a gentleman. And th en she will admire
you beyond description as the discovererof his villainy,
especiallyas she will clearly perceive th e motives you
�112
~,N
HIN TS TO GEN'I'LEMEN
ha d for
B
. the exercise of such an extraord' .
y this course you will open t h . . ma1y sagacity,
·
o er mmd a ·
t am
commendable t raits of h
vein of cer,
•
c aracter pos
d .
emment degree by vours:ilf
d t
. sessc in an
•
J
., , an
o which h
•
oth
, erwise have forever reuai·n d
'
e a stranger .
.
RULE THE SEVENTEETH
s e might
.
THE .ART OF FAS( INATING.
113
• -r. lle d for ass :s ane that the masculine
for.fool is. J o ' an d that et' .means' and that therefore
article a, is un, an
'
. .
iin f olleet wn ane means a, f oot a,nd an a,ss. If t~1e1
e rs
no one by to correct your bad Fr ench you w1l~ get
it for beino-a o·reat scholar, while the lady will be
Cred
o
o
.
f
profoundlyimpressed with the beauty _and propriety o
your first lesson in French , and she wtll. be sure never
to forget you as long as she remembers it.
If you have not learning by all means
it, for this will give a l~dv and all bprctef1~~
to have
o
t .
J '
er uends an
ppor umty of laughino·
at you' wh1'cl1 ,,,n·11make you
' a
o
most .agreeable and amusing fellow in her estimation
But, ~f, on the oth er hand, you realiy possess somelittl~
learnmg, do not fail to show it off on all occasions If
a l~dy ~oes not know a word of Fr ench, you wiiI, of
course, inter sperse your conversation plentifully with
words from that language. you may ask her if she
has ever read "Les Eg armnents du, C(ffll,r?" She will
stare at you to sec if you are mad, and you will have
the pleasure of relieving her alarm by telling her it is
the name of a French book, the English of which is
'' The "\Vantlerings of the Heart," and which you be•
lieve has never been tran slated into our language. She
will think you really a charming man for having relieved
the distressing anxiety which you had created. Now
you can not only talk in English on the delightfulsubject
of hearts, but, having· given her a taste of French, you
can proceed to give her a useful and pleasing lesson in
that language. You may tell her that you learned it
very easily, that the words are ,, ,ry simple, and you can
rrove yourself by inf n·millg her ~hat the French word
RULE THE EIGilTEENTII.
It will be a masterly stroke of policy for you to pre•
tend to be an atheist, and to scofI at every idea of reli•
gion ; for, if you have no respect for your :Maker, nor
for anything that mankind holds sacred, it will satisfy
any intelligent and reflecting lady that you will hav e
all the more respect and love to bestow upon her.
RULE TUE NI~ETEE~Tll.
You ought to know that there are four thino-s
which
0
always possess more or less interest to a lady-- a par·
rot, a peacock, a monkey, and a man ; and the neare r
you can come to uniting all these about equn.~Jyin you1
own character, the more will you be lo,ed . This is
also a cheap ~nd ~xcellcnt reci~)efor making a dandya creature..,vhtch 1s always an c bject of u.dmirn.tion and
esteem to the ladies.
RULE THE TWE~TIETJ-I.
As lteel,sare of more importance to men than h d
willof
.,,
c
ea s, you
com;:ic,spend all of your earli'cr·d ays m
. 1.earn•
�114
ON THE ART OF FASCINATING .
HINTS TO GENTLEMEN
ing to dance, and when you are pe1fected in the
you cannot do better than spend th .
ar~
t·
•
e rest of you
1me in dancing. Fail not to convince a lady th t r
·t
· ·
a your
rea l exis ence is in the Lall-room and that d .
.
, .
.
'
urmg all the
inter. venmg time vour
godlike facu1t·1es are simpl
.
.,
takmg their. natura l sleep. you must not dance as Y
a
mere pastime and as an occasional amusement, bll t
yo~ _must d evote yourself to it as a business and a
rehg10n
For which you wish to live or dare to die.
Dance with all the might of your body, and all the
fire of your soul, in order that you may shake all
melancholy out of your liver ; and you need not restrain yourself with the apprehension that any lady will
have the least fear that the violence of your movements
will ever shake anything out of your brains.
RULE TIIE TWE"N'TY·F
IRST.
Nothing so readily fascinates a lady as wit; but a.s
this is a very rare thing, and only one in ten thousand
re ally possess it, the best you can do is, affect itthat is, you can try to be witty, and even if you should
fail, the lady' s laugh ter will testify bow much she is
delighted at your effort. Puns are always delightful,
and you must not forget that those only are good
which are decidedly bad, a fact which is all in your
favor. Should you hear a lady tell her servant to
b1·ingup the dinner, a delicate piece of wit wouldbe to
affect great astonishment, and exclaim, "bring 7"P tlu
dinner! pray tell me, madam, hes yorr servant swallowed-
115
.
. ?"
Or you can make a misstep, and
the dmner •
·l
• n
our head against hers, if you dar e n s c your ow
a collision and say, "B eg pardon, b~t you
knowtwo heads are better than one;'' and even. rf you
b ld happen to break a shell side-comb, and g1vc her
0
s
d h ~ • a day she will forgive it becau se of the
a 11ea ac e 1'01
· ,
•
•
manliness and delicacy of your wtt. Or you might
contri,e to kick her leg with the toe of your Loot,
until she cries out with pain, which will give you a
chance to defend yourself by declaring that she has
"no rio-bt
to complain, as it was perfectly leg-a1."
Only
h
.
•
treat a lady with such refined and cha,rmmg wit as
this, and she will be sure to betray the tenderest
regard for you, by affectionately wishing you were in
~:ros~i
°
"Abraham's bosom.
RULl~ THE 'fWE~TY -SECOND.
Should you invite a la dy out to supper, you must, by
all means, order three times as much of expensive
di bes as it will be possible for you to cat, as this will
sho,r her that you have a generous disr ega rd of money,
and would just as soou waste it, as spend it econo•
mic:11ly,which will convince her that your wife will
never want for money, i. e. if you hn.ve any yourself.
If it is not convenient to be so expensive, take the
other extreme, and be as mean as possible. Condemn
all dishes, that cost over fifteen cents, as being out of
season or as unhealthy ; and all wines you are to denounceas vile drugs, which you will neither drink your•
self nn offer tr t :-:>~c whorn y0~1 respect. Th en order
�116
HINTS TO GE~TL2MF!N
ale for two, which, as she will probably not drink f •t
you will hav.e all to yourself ; and, as you putt~~
gla ss t o your lips blow off the froth, or head and
"l1u:,1e
A.,s ymtJ"-a comp1·1ment she cannot fail' to appresay
ciate and admire.
RULE THE TWENTY-THIRD.
Wh enever you call on a lady, speak of having "just
come from the club," and dwell with pride upon the
amount of tirne you speiul there, because all ladies have
great faith in the happy influence of such places as
" clubs" upon a young man, in not only teaching him
the polite accomplishments of cliewing and drinking,
and a great m:1nycoarser habit s, but they get him into
the pleasant way of la te hours, and of spendingall his
leisure time away from home. There is no sensible lady
who will not jump at the chance of marrying oneof
these dub-men , for she knows that she will be relieved
of his company nearly all tho time, and that she will,
furth ermore, have the groat pleasure of sitting up to
welcome him home at the poetical hour of midnight.
W hat a charming prospect for domestic happiness I
ON THE ART OF FASCINATING.
11,
blushing way through the mud. Tllis is a
h 1 1· and a proof of your rnodestan d
liment to t e ac ies,
.
. .
admiration of th e beautiful, which every r~spct
- duly appreciate. And, ty simp Y
t blc woman w111
.
lcl
a . . on tho oTatitucle with which you wou see
reflcctrngup
o
.
.
.
. ·f
the same delicate attentions paid to your O\\ n :vi c_or
daughtcr, you Ca n more fully realize the fascmatmg
•
• . er its
p1ck100
:Jed
excellenceof your character.
RULE THE TWE::{TY-FIFTH.
Of course you will never allow yourself to sit five
minutes by the side of a lady without paying h~r some
respectful and delicate attention, such as takrng her
handkerchief,and spreadi ng it out on your lap, or lean•
ing affectionately upou her, or throwing your arm over
the back of her chair, which will look to spectators as
though it were round her neck ; or, if she wears a lownecked dress, you can stand bonding over her chair,
lookingdown and praising the ring upon her finger, or
the delicate whiteness of her hand . 'l'his will convince
a lady that you have not only an inquiring mind, but
that you also possess the natural instinct of a well-~red
and wann-lte:.irted gentleman.
RULE THE TWENTY-FOURTH.
You must do everything in your power to convincea
bdy that you are , in a modest way, a great aclmircrof
bnauty . an excellent way to prove which is, to be
v
,
h t t are
alway s seen, on rainy days, when t e s \~cs s
dtl standino· at th e corners, where most.ln.c.icspas ,
mu y,
o
d t . bcautv
staring at the embarras sments of pc e~ nan
JI
RvLE THE TWEXTY-SIXTH.
What is cn,llcd gassing is a groat card for a gentle •
man to play, especially ,vith an accomplished and discriminating lady. vVhcnever he meets her, he must
pretend
tha.t he has just come from a lono·
and iutcrest•
.
0
mg conversa.tir·r. v·ith Colc12e
l this-one, and General tha t-
�118
HINTS TO GENTLEl iE N
one, or has just dined with Honorable , · t
.;.
\._1
s er or
Governor so-and-so, and then speak of the oTeat
diffi' I
.
.
.
o
cuty
he hac1 m
tear m00 • hunself away from them Th' •
_
•
•
1S will
s~ow her that he 1s conscious of possessing no meritof
hts Ovvn, to recommend him to her favor; whichshe will
tak e as a pleasant and convincing proof of his modest
and ~urnili~y, and_which she will also charitn.bly pas~
to l11scredit, agamst th e lies which she well knowshe
is telling her.
RULE THE TWE~TY - SEVENTH.
Always make yourself comfortable in the presenceof
a lady ; which you may do, by sitting on tLe outer edge
of your chair , and allowing your shoulders and bodyto
fall backwards , while your legs are projecting forward
into the middle of the room, and thrown apart like the
diverg ent prongs of an immense pitch-fork. 'l'his is an
elegant and tempting position. Then, in cold weather,
you can sit down in her presence in your full winter
rig, of over-coat, over-shoes, th ick gloves and fur-cap,
which will give you an air of great comfort , while it
will, at the same time, be rcgurdcd as a sigu of the
most delicate reRpect for her presence. Or, you ca_n
accomplish the same desirabl e end, if the weather 1s
hot by goioo- into her pr esence minus your suspenders
and vest, witi1 noth ing on but your shirt, pantalo~ns
,
stock ings and pumps . She :will be sure to _apprccia:e
t his delicate compliment to her presence, while s~e ca/
not fail to be str uck with the justice and propnety o
puppiesachieving ::i,llthe comforts they possiblyran dur·
ing dog-da;ys.
ON THE .AR'f OF FASC I NATING.
119
WENTY-EIGHTH.
RULE THE' T
. l ·ed one of the fe.roale virtues, you
·t is consH
e1
f .t
As vam y b tter t h.ino . than to evince as much o 1
cannotdo a e
_o t
y to do th is is to never
'bl A convemcn wa
.
as poss1 e..
of a l ady . that 1s, be
ourselfin the presence
•
'
forget y .
d . the occasion agreen,blc to
articula r to ren er
·
more p,
t
ake it one of entire bapprnc ss
ourselfthan you are o m,
.
k
yto bcr . for t l11s
. wt·11 show her that yon .think too
m1t c
.
.
'
d
d
to
the
small
business
of
entc1oifyou,rseLf
to escen
.
.
.
.
T·
lk
therefore
only
ot
your
own.
taimng a woman.
a ,
'
.
,
.
Be constantly adJ·usting your sh1rt-colln.1' o1
afIairs.
tl t
arranging your cravat, which will not only sl:ow ia
you are ambitious to look as handsome as po~s1ble,_but
it willbe an employment for your han ds, which might
otherwise prove, in some way, an u.nnoya.nce to her.
RULE THE TWENTY - }HNTII.
There is no way in which you can be - more serviceable and render yourself more ag reeable to a lady tl1an
to bring her all the bad news you hear, especially if it
relatesto herself. All the disparaging things you hear
said of her, you will, of course, take to her directly ;
whichwill cause her always to hail your coming with
joy, while it proves, beyond a doubt, that you have
beenwell-bred, and are a high-toned gentleman.
RULE THE TillRTIETII.
If you suspect a lady to possess a considerab le
am0unt of strong gol)d sense, and if you know he r to
�120
HINTS \'O GENT.LEMEN
have had some experience in the world
th a t you can easily
· wm
• her confid ' you fJJ.ay
bel'ieve
.
encc and rcspe t b
assuming an extraordinary amount of iet
.. c ' y
respectability ; which she well knows by, vntue, and
of
I 11
e an oldtrick
near• y a. young scape-o-races
who h:we nothmo•
. but
0
,
0
pretens.ion 1n the oo-reat claims th ey makye to moralit
Tl
be easily shocked-be m
. constant alarm
y.
I 1crefore
t
es
youd should compromise yourself- put on pious
.
.
airs ; an the lady will give you credit for obey· 0 th
bl'
. .
.
100' e
su 1mernJunct1on of the poet, who s0,ys·: ·
f°
"A ssitme a vn·
. t ue-1 'f you have it not ."
RULE THE TITIRT
Y-FIRST.
Always have some joke ready which is intendedtc
be a hit at woman. For instance, if you see a lady
eating a piece of tongue, you can remark that youare
surprised to see her doing that, as you thought the
ladi es bad already tongue enough. Some such original j oke as this will impress a lady greatly in your
favor, by convincing her that you are one of those
commonplace, insipid creature s, whose intellect is down
to the low level of woman's, a.nd that you will not,
ther efore; be likely ever to startle and annoybe:·,by
propo sitions or conver.sations beyond the reach of \ler
compreh ension.
RULE THE THIRTY-SECOND.
You will do well to follow the e~ample of a great
many gentlemen, and practi se killing ways before the
looking-glass, which will be quite sure to give yon
ON THE .ART OF FASCI N, i.TING.
121
a style as charming and fascinating as _the n.ianncrs o:
a, monkey,while it
will flatter the vamty ')f any sensible woman to see what pains you take to r ender yourselfso honorably agreeable to her sex.
RULE THE TBIRTY-TIIIRD.
Alwaystalk a little doubtingly of female virtue, for
that will show that you arc rigidly virtuous your self,
and that you associate chiefly with a class of women
,vhocannot fail to be of great advantage to you in giving you proper, and sufficiently cautionary, ideas of the
character of the sex.
RULE THE TITIRTY-FOURTH
.
Pretend that you are perfectly invulnerable to all the
charmsof woman, which will convince her that you are
the most vulnerable and susceptible creature alive, and
that you are aiways making love to every pretty
· womanyou see, married or single. This will show that
your heart is as tender as though it ·were rotten, and
that you would, therefore, make a most excellent and
desirablehusl>and.
RULE THE THIRTY-FIFTH.
Also, talk perpetually of your great cau tion as
to what women you associate
·
·
,nth.
The louder your
prof~ssions in this matter, the more yon will convince a
sensiblelady that you would make lcvc even to your
~~her-woman, without regard to color, and that ,our
" 11e' therefore' may
•
J
r easonably expect to be relieved
G
•
�122
HINTS
TO GENTLEMEN
of a great deal of the persecution of a
husband's
affections.
RULE THE THIRTY-SIXTH .
Alway s complain that your lady acquaintances are
.,oo numerous, and absorb too much of your time , l · h
1 V llC
·1
·
w1l convmce a discerning woman that you have not
. I
a
smg e respectable female acquaintauce except herself,
and that she, the refore, bas you nll to herself, including all your pretensions and lies.
+
RULE TIIE TilIRTY - SEVENTH.
If th ere is a beautiful marri ed lady in your neighborhood, you will, of course, try to flirt with her; and, as
a preparatory step, you will cultivate the confidence
and friendship of her husband, ,vhieh is a most direct
road to the affections of the wife ; for it will thoroughly
apprise her of your designs, and then nothing will
delight her more than to witness your efforts to impose
upon her husbrtnd. If she is really worth flirting with,
your success will be certain, and you will have the pleasure of being laughed at by those adroit rascals who
always avoid the friendship and even the acquaintance
of a man, with whose wife they desire to flirt.
RULE THE THIRTY-EIGHTH.
It is ~ masterly stroke of policy of some young men
t o be always ra iling at matrimony-an cx~mple I
advise you, by all means, to copy, for it will give you
an opportuni:J of com ting r1cry pretty woman who
ON THE ART OF FASCI~.A.TI~G.
12h
r'1thoutbcino-suspected
::>fany but
0
· vour wny \\
•
A
coro
·es rn .,
n l' ',1.ndhonorabl e intent1011s
.
1:1an
th~ mrJst P.nscl 1s~
and who avows his determma·
d , ·scs matnmooy,
th
who c::sp1
h s also a carte bla,1ulie to
c
.
ver to marry, a. '
tl t
tion nc
. 1 d , . for the pn.rents know 1a
of
every
youno
a j '
1 .
l10mc
.,I t l
ill ever stea l away t 1e1r
J, ·e is no danger t rn ie w
.
.
b . ot ,er
tly in marria<re bis ohJeCt cmo
dauo-hterpermancn
o '
001 ; a temporary courtship.
RULE THE TIIIRTY-NI::-l'TJI.
Thcr,e is an insipid tribe of triflers, callc~ " danglers,"
'th
1 whom women arc very fond of diver ting themselves
: mockflirtations, when they have nothing better to
do. They regard them as a class of beings b ene~th
their monkeys, parrots, and lap-clogs ; but, posscssrng
the form, and, iu some degree, the attributes of a man,
they use them for pastime, and to practi se tbem selv:s
in the pleasant art of flirting. It will cost you but little pains to become one of these useful and happy
beings.
RULE TIIE FORTIETH .
If you have made up your mind to str ike a. woman
quite deadin lo1.:e
with you, fix your eyes amorou ly upon
hers, and gaze fixedly and burningly into them, as
though yon were mesmerizing her. If you perceive
that it is with uifficulty she keeps from laughing in
your face, or, if she turns away her face in scorn,
as though she felt insulted, you must, by no means,
rPlax your gaze, for these are dear signs th nit you arc
�124
lllXTS TO GE~TLEMEN
havin~ yo1r _effect. upon _her. And if she sends for her
fathe1, or b .othe 1, to kick you out of the ho
. becau se she dare not I use, you
may k now tlrn..t it. 1s
.
. your fa,scmatrng
. . presence.
onger trast
he1self
m
•
RULE TIIE FORTY-FlRST.
What is called attitU,dini:::ing
is a great game to
play upot1 an intelligent and sensible woman-t hat is
to throw your body iuto a series of graceful pictures '.
01
fas cina ting attitud es, which you must study bcfor~ a
mirror ; a.nJ, as a lady will readily detect your skill
and pra ct ice, she ,.·ill at once bite at so temptinga,
bait, and set herself to win yom· heart, as sincerely as
a spider spins a fine web to catch a fly, for she knows
that all such insects are easily caught, and easily bled.
ON TITS .ART OF F.ASCiXATIXG
125
rdasher. This will soon de the busidoor-wayof a babe
possible grounds to doubt
s for you, and leave no
.
ne.'3
s.
as
to your rcaI position in her affect1011
RULE THE FORTY-FOURTH.
If a lady condescends to tr eat you with a little. familiarit ·ou must instantly ta.kc advanta ge of it, _and
' y,yonrse
) lf as familiar
and as a 0o-reea ble as
possible,
make
~
•
•
, •
. 1l you IDu,
"Y do by some such trick as st1ckmg
wh1c
·
h yom
fi
scgaralmost into her eyes, to light it, or_ta kmg ~r hn.er to brush the ashes from tho end of it ; ancl if s c
;houldask you why you do not use your own fi~fc r, you
can reply by making a double nose, a~d ~ay no yo~
don,'t " which will strike her with adm1rat1on bo th for
your wit and familiar good breeding.
RULE TIIE FORTY-SECON'D.
If you perceive that a lady is decidedly averseto
receivin g you, and actually flies from your presence,
you should perpetually throw yourself under her nose,
on the same principle that a horse is made to smellof
a wheel-barrow to keep him from taking fright at
suJh an ugly machine.
RULE THE FORTY-THIRD.
Or if
a lady begins Lo show evident signs of weari•
ness ~t your frequent calls, by all means doul>lcyour
attention s-ca ll oftener, ancl stay longer, uuW yo~ mnko
you--3elf a fixLure in her pre sence, like a dummy10 thc
RULE TIIE FORTY-FIFTH.
Nothing makes a gentleman app ear to so grea t
advantage as to be good at " small talk," that i , to be
able to prattle away for hours ,vithout saying anything.
If .,,on haYe not this fascinating gift of gab yourself,
you will do well to take along some such help as II ar~
per's monthly picture-book, so that yon can amuse the
lady by studying the j okes to frntl ont wher e the laugh~
comein. If you should be unable to fiud any, you can
make a. joke yourself, by pulling the lady's nose, and
exclaiming " not as you nose-on ;'' and then, by laugh •
iug us lotl'l as you c.rn scream, you will prov e that your
own uuaitlctl wit and genius hare founu a j oke.
�126
HINTS TO GENTLEMEN
ON TIIE ART OF FASCI).TATIXG.
RULF.: TIIE FORTY-SIXTH.
. I t is a leli?h .ful and sprightly species of wit, cal!c
big talk, wluch accomplished O'entlen
e
. d
1 11 sometime
0
• 1 1
•
me.a ge rn. to entertain ladies by descriptions of mock
advent ul'es, such as ritlinoan e::uthqnal·c t
0
d · 1·
.._
'o watc1·
ruu:10g out of the milky-way, cutting a piece off of
tbe spectre of the Brockcn for a nio•ht-cal) C"t b.
.
o
, u, c mg a
comet by the tail, or bunting for a calf's head in the
cell of a moon beam. If, after you have delivered
yourself of this matchless piece of sense and humor
~ho fat.ly g!·avely asks if you had any difficulLyin find~
1~g a calf s hea_d
, you may know that she fully appreciates your genius, and that you have made aa immense
hit.
RULE THE FORTY-SEVE~TH.
I advise you to ~tudy to perform a few pleasing and
charming tricks in every lady's presence, such as
snatching her pocket-handkerc hief out of her lap an<l
throwin g it upon the floor, antl violently stamping upon
it ; aocl when she asks, with t error, what you arc.doing
,
reply that you arc killing a wiper. Or you ca.uopen
the door on a winter's night, and then astonish and
delight her by asking if there arc any piddes in it?
and when she asks what you mean, reply, "n othing,only
I sec it is a-ja,." A few such tricks as these will convince a lady that you wonld be as amusing in a house
as a monkey, and th cnfo rc would be a great prize as a
hu sband.
121
RULE: THE FORTY-EIGHTH.
If on intend to call on a la dy in the evening, do
to drink liquor seve ral times, and several
not n:o·lect
o
.
.
.
. .
kindsof it, during the day, for t llls will g1ve sp:n t to
yourconversation, while it will enable you to perfume
her wholehouse with a fragrance which can be equalled
onlyby a scent that bas now become very rar e, in conseqncnce of the scarcity of the animal that produces
it.
RULE TilE FORTY-~IXTH.
Giggleand ln.ugh perpetually-mak e fun, even of
serious things ; for that will show that your heart is
as light as your head, and that grief is as great a
strangel'to the one as sense to th e other.
RULE THE FIFTIETH .
If you have not the natural sprightlin ess and playfulness to enable you to take advanta ge of these rules,
take the other tack, and be as surly as possible- that
is, if you cannot Le a J uppy and frisk and bark, be an
olrldog and growl.
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
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Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
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Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
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Summer Shetenhelm
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Collection
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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Excerpt from 'The arts of beauty, or, Secrets of a lady's toilet: with hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating'
Creator
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Montez, Lola, 1818-1861
Subject
The topic of the resource
Beauty, Personal.; Beauty Culture.; Hygiene.; Social Desirability.; Women.
Description
An account of the resource
Excerpt from 'The arts of beauty, or, Secrets of a lady's toilet: with hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating' published in 1858 by Dick & Fitzgerald. This excerpt includes Chapter I: Female Beauty; Chapter XXI: How to Obtain a Good Head of Hair; and Hints to Gentlemen on the Art of Fascinating.
Publisher
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Dick & Fitzgerald
Date
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1858
Type
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text
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38 pages
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MontezBeautyExcerpts.pdf
Source
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RA778 .M75 1858
Language
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English
Relation
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Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
Rights
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96
LEC'.l'C
n m III.
subject of the Duti es arising from tho tics of Natural
Rcla.tionship . I-Ioly ancl blossccl thin gs that they arc!
I aiu pers uaded that oven tho best and happiest of
us only half apprehencl th eir bcnutifol meaning, and
that we must look to tho life beyond tho gl'avo to
int erpret for us all their significance.
In tho no:xt Lecture we shall discuss a very difficult
que st ion inclcecl- thc Dntios of ri , Vifc- and then tho
Duti es of tho :Mistr ess of a Household.
LECTURE I\T.
Dldi"esof· Contr act-- 1Vives-}' riends.
.
• · 0 • f.
p ASSING from Du ties
ar1,,nnt:>
i om tho. tics. of Bloo(l.
, l cit wn,:1oi
. . ,, .l) (I)nronts
and Children, .Sisters, Broth01s
l ,e
•"
. f
tho oxccoclino-ly
important class o
anc,, so on), v.·o i•onch
«
,
o
Duties foundoclon Contract; pro-eminent ly on tho great
Contl'act of 1\l ,rn 1UAGi,;.
. . .
'rh o for mal :Marr iage Cont ract of most c1v1hzccl
nations includes two natu rcll, and one cirliflcinl obliga.t ion.
First there is tho mut ual prom ise of Conj ugal Union,
to which is added a mut ual ongagomont of exclusive
Fidelity of each to each . 'l'his is strictly speaking lite
i\Iani ago Vow ; tho one essential promise among
monogamous races.
But tho entrnnco into this bond br ings tho contract ing parties so much more closely together than any
other human connection, that it follows that they ought
to affol'clpr irnetry Benevolenceto 0 110 anothe r, and sook
each other' s wolf.ire before all other s ; reser vat ion being
7
�98
LEC'l'0 RE IV .
99
DUTIES 01<' wo:UEN -
made of tho rights of those to whom they already owe
debts not annullable by tho now contract . Most properly
and wisely then, a second promise,-to « honour and
cherish " each other, in sickness and health, poverty and
riches, is, almost universally, added to the original
simple vow of Fidelity . The obligation is acknowledged and r einforced by the vow; but it arises
independently from tho nature of the r elationship.
A third vow of the wife is aclc1edby tho ]~nglish
Church, and by many other Churches-namely, tho
Vow of Oonjuga.l Obeclience
. Of this I sha.Uspeak in
its tu rn .
All the world acknowledges tho sanclity 0£ the first
0£ those vows, emphatically in the case of tho wife .
The offence 0£ Adultery, which is the infraction of
the vow if no lono·or judiciaJly punished in Europe as it
,
o
l .
once was, is yet commonly visited by the pcna tics
o£ social ostracism . Long may this so continue! 1'iany
of you will think mo har sh for saying it; but it i~ my
deliberate opinion that when a womau l1as committed
the enormous doub le crime , por:;onal
. and social, of
. l t ·no· the law of chastity, and domg her husband
noa1 0
·
hl
·onoof
brcakino
·
her
marnago
oa
the mor t.a1 w1 t>
t>
l i,l . .
.·o·h that tho society which s 10 ias
1t 1s fit au d n ° t
.
l . 0£ th is we
close
its
doors
to
101.
ld
outrage d sho u
·
1 11 ·ay more hereafter .
s ia s .
t tho pleasanter subject of the Duty
Passmg now_ o
.. l •a·.,,,11riniaryBenevolenceto
.
t
give
specia
,••~ L'
of W 1ves o
.
•"a) we meet of com·sc the
their bu sbancls (and vice vei10, '
. t · to seek first the :Nior al Good of the
·
· ble obI10 ·a 10n
·
11
mva,r1a
"'
vv ·vcs cannot be genera y
ob·ect of our Bonovolcncc.
l
.
f h ..
J d ·th nco·lcctino·
the
religious
1ntorcsts
o
t cu
O
charo-e wi
o
t. • I
hnsb:.ncls,as they under stand them . ~n ~ Iic con iary,
fear, they often worry them about bchevmg wb_at they
consider necessary to salvation, in an tmreaso1~ing w_ay
which prevents tho ughtful husban ds fr~1n sook~ug _,v~th
their pious wives that refresh ment of sp1ntua_l hfo which
they would find were not all t hose dogmas 1u t~o way.
Bnt the higher 1noralgood of tho husband occup10s most
wives comparatively little ; and often a man "·ho starts
with a great many lofty and disinterested aspirations, clotorio1·ates year by year in a deplorable manner under
the influence of a sufficiently well-meaning and personally conscientious wife . If you ask, how can this be? tho
answer is, that the wife's affection, being of a poor an d
short- sighted ki uc1, sbo constantly urges ]1or husband
to thin k of himself and his own interests , rather tha n
of the persons and objects for "·]Jieh lie was ready to
~acrificehimself. « Do not go on that charitable errand
to-day, you have caugh t a cold. It will answer as ,vell
to-morrow." "Do not i1wite that dull old friend ."
"Do not join that tiresome co1nmitteo." «J>l'aytake a.
long holiday." "By all means buy yourself a new
hu'.1t~r." "Do r efrain from con fessing your unorthodox
opnnons." 'rhi s kind of thing , chopped every day like
the lump of sugar into tho breakfast cup of toa, in tho
end produces a, real constitutional chano·o i·u the
,
· l
.
' o
mans
mmt . IIc bcgms to think himself, first, somewhat of
7
*
�100
LECTURE IV .
a hero when he o·oes
. · t such sweet couns"l . a d
.,, . aga1ns
th
Q ·
" ,- n
then a fool· ind
.
. en• a . u1,xote-and
.
, ._ ,." curious
iec1procity is also establisbecl · The 11t1sb
au d cannot do
less than. return the. wife's kindn ess b Y b egging
. . 7tel '
not _to distress _and tire herself by performing any duty
which costs a httle self-sacr ifice ; and she again returns
the complim_ent ancl so on, ancl so on, till they nurse
each other into complete selfishness . I ::im sure that
many 0£ my aud ience must have seen this exemplified.
B ut if, on the othe r hand, the wife ·from the first
che r ishes eve ry spark of generous feeling or noble ancl
disinterested amb ition in her husb and, and ho, in l1is
turn, encourages her in every womanly charity ancl
good deed, how they will act and re -act on each other
month after month and year after year ; each growing
nobler, and loving more nobly,ancl being more worthy to
be loved, till their sacred and blessed union brings
them togethe1· to the very gates of heaven ! That is
what marriage ought to be; what it is to a few choice
and most happy couples; and what it might be to a.11
.
I shou ld like to have said much on the many ways in
which, I think , oulightoncd moral ideas might help
wives to make thei r husbands more Jiappy, but I ca.n
detain you only to name one 0£ them. 'I'act is an
exceli.oni;thing, a precious gift to cult ivate where it _ca_u
bo nsed with perfect openness and honesty . . ]3,~t it is
one oi tho worst consequences of the subJect1on ~f
women, that , in. thousands of cases'. th is tact is
.
d . to the Art of :M:anag1Ug
-a-Ilusbancl.
d O-YC!Ope lll
DUTrnS OP
wo:u~;K(
.
10]
~(anronvrcs, crafty wa,ys, wily little concealments,
insidious flatteries aud coa.xings with au object ; these
arc the .miserable and c1isgracc£u1 means by which
many a, well-meaning ,vifc ancl mother is driven to
carry out the most innocent plans , tl1c most useful
projects £or the family welfare and her chi ldr en ' s
education . Do not fall into them , my friends ! Do not,
whatever be the clifficnltics 0£ your position, descend
to such arts . You may think you make you l' husband
happy by "managing" him so clcYcrly for his good;
bnt you may dcpcllcl on it, tho ugh his thick masculine
brain docs not detect :;.\lond,1y
':; little rus e nor
'.l'ucsday's small circ umvention, yet that he bas ::i
constant ::l,Jlduneasy sense tha,t he is not treated open ly
:inclin an above-board fashion, ancl that yon arc « too
deep" for him. I-Io at once mistrusts, fears anrl
c1cspi
_scs _such a wife. 'l'hc whole sincerity of the
111an1cdlife is spoiled ; aucl in short, whatever numbe r
of tricks you 1~,i_'.
score, you actually lose the gameIf you could win it a hunch-eeltimes over, it would not
be. WOl'th
into .,., clomcs t·1c ·,r
.
.dcoTadiuo·
o
o ,·ourself
J
~' rs .
Machia,vcl!t for the purpose !
But now opens upon ns the vc1·y cru,i;of onr sub. cct
-tho
. Jb
l
. third vow which a wife ina1·
.~cs wh en man ·1cd
tic rites of the Church of Eno-1- cl
y
t i , 01 .
o a.n or those of m.ost
o tc1 lll! chcs-t hc promise to Ob
0£
ey.
course a reason must be fo. h
.
demanding such a vow th
. . . l t coming for
'
onglt wo n1ay pl'ivrLtely
�102
LEC1'URE IV .
suspect tha~ all such reasons dicl not precede, but
follow, the simple fact ; ancl that wheresoever la loi d-i,
plus f01·t prevails , wives arc con1pelleclto obey; a11d
th~ ~ow only add~ a mental £otter to the already
exist.lug natural chain, and registers a fait accompli.
Some people tell us that it is incumbent on a womau
to take and keep this vow, because she is exhorted by
St. Paul to "o bey her husband in tho Lord." I
cannot fairly argue this point, being too far outside
the pale of orthodoxy to consider a moral problem to
be solvable by a text . But I would remind those
who quote this passage in one Epistle of the groat
Apostle , to remember that they arc bound to attach
the same authority to a parallel passage in another
Epistle, wherein tho same Apostle commands Slaves
to obey their Masters ; ancl actually sends back to his
chain a runaway who in our day wonld have boon
helped to freedom by every true Christian man or
woman in America. Tho whole tone of early Christian teaching, jndecd, was one of entire submission to
tho "po,v ers that be," even when they were represented by such insane despots as 'l'ibcrius, ?aligu~a
and Nero . In our clay, men habitually set aside this
Apostolic teaching, so far as it concerns :Masters and
Slaves, Despots and their Subjects, as adapted _only
to a past epoch . I a1n at a loss to s_oc by wl~atright,
having done so, they can claim tor it ~uthonty when
it happens to refer to llnsbancls and "l'f1v~s.
.
Next to cutting tho knot by Authority, I behove
DUTIES OF WOMEN .
103
tho advocates o£ Obedience rest their argun1ont otn
'
a· . they think almost amoun
Expecliency- an expo 1ency
t·
f
.
l
t ·ouod by tbo prac ice o
in<>to a Necessity, auc sane 1
be
~
"How can two walk together except th ey
ages.
·
f 11 b t "How
agreed? " was a pertinent question o . o c ; u
.
can two walk together 1inless one of thern, have it
entirely his own way? " is tho query put to us by
these persons now. They have become so accnsto~od
to tho notion of one ruling and tho other obeying,
that auy other kind of anangoment seems to them
fraught with peril of dontcstic anarchy . niy dear
Friends ! ,Vill you please to toll mo did you over hear
of any sort of despotism, groat or small, spiritual c;•
temporal, public or private, which was not justified
by those who exercised it on these same grounds of
its expediency, its convenience, its necessity fol' tl:e
benefit and safety of tho governed ? De-es not the
Clrnrch of Rome exert its tremendous sway over the
intellects and consciences of men, in tho honest
persuasion of its hicrarchs that it is good for these
sheep to be entirely guidecl by their shepherds?
Ras not every empire in history boon founded on
the presumption that 0110 supremo and irresponsible
Ruler or Autocrnt could govern a nation n1uch bettor
than a, nation could govoru itself? Nay, has it not
been ~howork ot: ages, not yet accomplished, to make
maukmd understand that all the bouofits and conveniences of ~ paternal Government arc too dearly
bought by keopmg tho nations in perpetual childhood?
�104
LECl'URE IV.
IIow is a. Church t o go on wit
· hout a supreme Head
to deterunne doctrines? .How is a St"te t
•·h
· '
•• o go on
wit out a despotic ruler at the helm?
How is a
Household to go on ,·vithout an Autocrat to settle all
questions by his simple volition? 1.'hcse questions are
all very 1nuch on a par . Nay, it ought surely to be
much easier for a little household, united by the
tenderest ti es, to « get along" peacefully, har1uoniously and prosperously as a miniature Republic,
tha.n for Churches to flourish on Congregational
pri nciples, or States to rise to glory and prosperity,
like that of our blessed England-on the basis of some
111
illions of independent wills.
Again ; afte r Authority, and after Expediency and
Necessity , Obedience is vindicated by some persons
on quite anothe r g round, not its utility to the family
generally , or to the State, but its comJ'ortto the obeying
party ; the relief it offers to her conscience ; the short
cut it affords for getting rid 0£ her " responsibilities."
Now I fear I roust have a dreadfully hardened
conscience, for it Las never once occurred to me in
life that my responsibi lities were th ings which, (if I
could only induce somebody to marry me,) might thus
be slipped off and laid aside like old shoes. TVhatresponsib ilities , I ask, arc they wl1ichI could get rid of,
if I were not a, wretched "failure," and bad a husband
to Jove honour and obey? For example-If I saw a
'
.d' '' Don't
child drowning
in a pond, and my husban d sa1
pick it out of the water on any account ; " shonkl I
DU'l'I1>S OP WO)fEN .
·-------
105
---~
-- --~
'bTt, " by sivcetly taking my
o·et rid of my ,. respons1 J L J
.
"J . • . you
o
.
sayino·
use as
spouse's arm and walkmg away, '
o>
h 1 ' f
think right, dear John " ? Of cour~c, ~y t c av.o:Cl
p
l (, 1·£ John had thrown the child into· the
E ngan.1,
. h" I
. lf and I stood by aiding and abet ting llll '.
h imse '
.
d . manta l
should be bold scot free, as acting un c1
.
authority . but I scarcely fancy that my conscience
would be 'altogether relieved of the sense of "R espon sibility."
Or again, a much commoner case. I have a,n old
Aunt, we will suppose, a very tir esome person, (as
elderly Aunts I find, a,las ! arc generally considc1·e d to
be ;) but she was infinitely good to me when l was a
child, ilncl I owe he1· a debt ] of g ratitud e which I can
never repay. Now she is old and deaf ancl stupid , and
bores my husband to extinction, and he forbids me to
invite her to our house, or give her the l itt le cheer
and comfort which her · lonely old age can receive .
Shall I get ricl of my "responsibility" toward ::.poor old
Aunt Dorothy by writing her a little note ancl t elling
her, "I am sorry to observe that my husband wishe s
me to drop you, and of course it is my dnty to obey"?
Herc again (a.ncl in short, in every imaginab le case of
a crime to be avoided 01· a duty to be pcrlormcd), I
find there is 110 getting rid of tha,t nfan of th e Sea on
my shoulde1·s, ,1 i½., Responsibility . i\fy husband or
father cannot take it off for me, e,eu if "·c both desire
it. .A.nd why? For this reason, iny friends! Because
Goo has laid it on me' when He macJc
me a,-,
· 1F, ree
< ,l
.na t 1011a
�106
- --
107
LEC'l'URE lV .
Agent, not a Dog, or an Idiot ! No vow I c - t k
at an lt
au ~ e
.
y a ar can mako it thereafter Rio•ht fo.
t d
W·
.
a
r me o 0
1011g,or liVrong to do what is Rio·ht r['1. •
b
.
.
.
a
• . ue1e may e
sm in 11u1,kingthe vow- I believe there
Id b . .
.
woo
eQm
mak ing any vow which should make it more diOicult
for me thenceforward always to do rio•ht . b t
£
o , u no orm
of oath can bind mo not to do it, any more than
He rod's rash vow ought to have bound him to cut off
tho Baptist's head .
. Let us theu clear this matter away. Responsibilities,
in the sense of moral answorability, cannot be shifted
from one to anoth01· on any plea of Obedience aftei·
tho human being has reached the ago of £nil moral
accountableness . Yon will boar in mind this latter
definition . In tho case of filial obedience, the young
girl must justly defer to tho moral ji~dgment of her
parents (rather than to their a1ntho1·ity,)
in all save the
most obvious matters 0£ right and wrong . I suppose
even tho g reatest stickler £or parental authority would
admit that; if a parent bade a child to steal, he ought
not to obey .
liVhat, then , aro tho responsibilities which uun be deposited in a husband's or parent 's hands? They can
only bo those which concern matters not 1noral; matters
concerning the pecuniary or other interests of tho family.
On a great many of such points the husband will
usually be wisest, and may most properly bo treated
as ]\,fr. ]\,fillsuggests, as the Senior, or Acting Partner
in tho Firm . And if things go wrong, bad invest-
DUTIES OP wo~rnN .
d so ou, ancl the wife finds n it
ments be chosen, an
·d that all tho .L•e. ark afterwa1 s,
d
any comfort to rem . M . S ·th and that she ha
. ·t ·t ·ested with r. f n:n
'
h •
spo-nsibii y 1
·t
b
all
means
let
er
1 .
h
Y
'
1
Od l1e1· hands o
entirely was
t · t Probab Y,
·th . ch conso1a 10 11 ·
soothe herself w1 su
l
siblo woman, she
however if she bo an able anc sen.
.·b·1·ty ,, of
'
.
tho respons1 i t
will have p~·o:crrcd, to inc~r~ot to invest in Egyptian
strongly adns1ng }Ii_.Smit
bonds or Peruvian mines.
/ . I
st ·n more will it; be impossible for any mot ie1 ,
i
.
should
think, to relinquish
any cont r·ol she may
.
J.
,
possess over her ch1.1cu·en
s nu1••unro and. . education
. ,,
by way of relieving herself of "Respons1b1lity .
lt
would be little consolation when Charley has broken
his neck, and Edith is in her coffin, that she had. l_eft
with their father the whole" Responsibility." of taking
Charley out riding on a vicious hnnto1·, and bringing
Edith to visit a family in scarlatina.
I cannot pursue these arguments in defence of' the
principle of Conjugal Obedience . 'ro mo that principle
seems irreconcilcablo with tho £nnc1amoutal basis of
morality (namely, the full and independent moral
responsibility of every adult; human being) ; and (I
may add) antagonistic no less to tho very nature of
that Lovo and Affection which it is so foolishly
snpposcd to guarantee . Love naturally reverses the
iclea of obedience, and causes the struo·o·lo
between
Ob
any two people who truly love each other to be not ·who
shall com,rnc11nd,
but, who shall yi eltl. There is in
( <
�108
LEC1'0l?E IV .
tho world no harder dt1ty than t
our heart's best f .· J I
'
o oppose tho will of
l lCUC1.
WOllld o·o £' th
mind you of b
.
t> ur er, and rea eaut1ful and wise cou l t Of 0
,vhich so111ehow h
·
Pe
haucer,
.
as . been repeated almost verbal! b
Spensei (Sponsor of th F, • . Q
.
Y Y
p . . l
,
o aV1y . ueen; not h11nof First
nncip es!), a couplet I advise vou all t
.
memory :J
'
o com1mt to
" , v11en mastery cometh, theu s1YcctLove anou
Flappcth his nimble win.,.s
·ind soou a," .ay 1s
. 11
~ <
own."
It is au insult, a wrong, a deadly wound to Love
for _one of tho lovers to turn round on tho other an~
claim, not the sweet right to sei·ve, but tho bitter rio·ht
to comiuand and control. Practica.Ily, we know,t>in
happy marriages this claim rarely crops to the
surface; bnt the mere fact that it is sous-entenclti iu
any discussion seems to me to take tho bloom off
conjuga l love .
Nor are the act ual consequences of this docti-iue
anything short of disastrous .
c see one class of
wives, of noble, free natures, fretted and galled all
their lives by tho fetters which some mean-souled
man causes to clank whenever he is in an ill-temper .
On the other side , we see another sot of women who
become perfec tly passive and silly and " sweetly
depend ent; " and at sixty, when their husbands die,
t h ey are no better able to manage thoir own affairs than
they were at six , IJut beti ·ay by their childishness
that the whole moral work of life Jrns been stopped
,v
DU'l'JES OF
wo~m1-.
" . l l·c a century . :My fat her (who hi gh ly
for them 101 1a J. '
•
,
t
d f 'fely obedience) nsecl, n eve1tho lcss , o
approve O Wl •
·a h ·cmin de cl him
o-]1 ht such w1clow
s, and sat t cy i
1ano ,.
l · h · t tl
of clocks with the weight s take n off, ,-vu c in s an y
set off bur.z, bur.z, buzz, till they ran down !
.
Arc the hii:,blmcls any tho bette r or the h app ier for
this monstrous ide a, that they have a ri g h t to the ir
wives Obedience? Cert ainly not . It cannot and docs
not fail to encourag e th eir ,,,orst fault s of selfishness
aucl despotism, ancl to insp ire th em with contemptuous
ideas of tho very woman whom it ough t to bo the j oy
ancl elevation of th eir souls to h onour . \ Vhcn a 1nan
docs really honour liis wife, we sec h ow bea utiful and
happy is thci1· married life; but l1e docs it in shec 1·
despite of their legal relation, and a ,cr y har d achi eve ment it must be to honour a p er son who is actua lly
bot1nd body ancl soul, for life, to obey your orde rs ; and
whoso Ycry childr en arc not hers bu t youl's, to tear
from her arms if you think fit ! How many of tho
awful crimes pcrpc trat ocl claily in E ugl ancl by bruta l
ht1sbanc1
s against their wive s wonld neve r have been
committe d hacl not the ruffians b een taught by Jaw
and cust om to reg ard th eir wives as th eir obedient
scrvants, - thoit· prop crt y,-we cannot comp u te . b ut I
am convinced that such ou trag es ou women-, su:h wi fetorture ni~cl wife-murclcr, will never cease till tho
whole notion of wifely subjection be radic ally cha nged. .
I J' ca.nnot pursue th ese <aro·ument
s l .CSp e Ct JUO
· •
b
obec tcnce further; but will simply rehe ar se th e con~
�110
]] ]
DU'l'IES Ol!' wo:\(J;N .
clusions
1natter .
which we
SCCIU
to
h c"Ve
<•
reac heel on the
Adult human beings, whether 1uen or wo•~cu
. lB
..., > owe
, pecic~ enevolencc,-that is, S1Jecial Sen;ice,-to those
person~ _towbmn they arc bouucl either by tics o£Birth,
of •Grat1Ludc, or of Contract
'['hose
o,,. ·
b so
.
'
•
·
•
1J.,1 vices may
9
O
I
fa1 before all oth ers that, whtlo those pcrso11Sneec1
thom, thoy are bound to pay thom before scokino· to
benefit a~y _other human beings . .A.s a parf o£
suc_h s~rv1co it is their duty to yield pleaf'autly and
easily 1u all tho sma,ll affairs and habits of lifo; to
be perfectly unselfish, affectionate ancl considerate;
and never to thwart or oppose the .other uuncccssai·ily.
They arc a.lso bound to listen to the counsels and
wishes of father or 1nothor, husband or wife, not
only with courtesy and patience, but with au honest
wish to a.grcc with them, and meet them if it be possible.
Beyond this, no adult hnmau being ought to go in
tho direction of Obedienc e. '.l'o c1o so would be, not
Service, but Slave1·y,or the immoral Obedience of the
Jesuit to his Superior; a ilfoi·c~lSnicicle, not to be
justified on any plea, whether of authority or precedent , or expediency, or comfort .
If 1.1:arriagcnecessari ly involvec1any such Obedience
and abnegation of moral responsibility, then I should
hold that it was not lawful for any woman to marry ;
just as I think it is not lawful for any m~n to b~come a
Jesuit a.nd take h is vow of Obedience. Bur, of cou1·se,
this is tho very u1atter of our present contention . It is
. tho least necessary, that the :M:arria~e oath,not in
b
. 'procal Promi se o£ F1del1ty, and
which ouo·ht to c a l cc1
•
·h kl
. . "cal P1·om1·sc of Special Bcncvolcncc,-s
ou
a rec1pro , ,
.
t·
. "dee"to it a vow that one of tho par ,cs
have sup01ac1 .L
' ,
.
l '
is to be thenceforth, not only devoted to the ot ier s
iuelfa1·e, but obellicnt to his will .
.
. .
But if :Morall!'rccdom be, as I have tried to show ,
so sacred and solemn a charge that we must never lay
it aside even for the clo~cst and tonclcrcst human tic~,
how great is the obligation which lies on u~ _to use 1t
aright! How monstrous woulc1be tl~o pos1t10n of any
woman who should clai.mher cxcmpt1on from filial or
conjugal obccliencc on lhc strength of her moral
responsibilities-and then should exhibit in her selfish,
idle, useless, or worldly life, an utter igno?·a.nco or
disregard of all wliich tl1oscawful respon sib ilities to God
im,olvc ! No, my friends! Better a thousand times
remain the most servi lely obedient of wives in perpetual
childhood and dependence, than claim your rank as
Human Beings, }.Loral Free Agents ; and then show
yonrsclvcs no better than 1nonkcys ancl parrots, 01·
wilful, self-indulgent children !
You 1uust awa,kc, if you mean to be the pioneers of
a nobler career for your sex, to the charge which lies on
yon not to nsc your liberty for a cloak fol' licence .
'I'hcrc arc women who ca.ll themselves "emancipated ,,
now, who at'cleading lives, if not absolutely vicious , yet
loos~, unseemly, ti-cspassing always on tho borders
of vice ; women who treat lightly , anc1as if of small
�1]2
------
I
LlW'l'URE IV .
accou nt , the heinous an d abom ina ble sins ofu l l t·
1 c las 1ty
.
and adultery . F'or Gocl's sake my yo•ino- f .- l
'
' <:> ll e U( S
b cwa,1'0 of such women ! Shu n them and repndiat;
thc~1 as represcntn.t ions of any cmanc ipn.tion which you
clcs1rc to share . ,, rhcthcr in the highest ranks , amon<>
the " fast " lad ies of fashion , with theit' iucleeorousand
undignifi ed habits, (smoking with the men of their
society a,t n ight in smok ing -rooms, a,ncl so on) ; or, iu
the middle class, the Bohem i.anism which, to young girl.
students, seems so enchanting after the p loclclingways
of ho mc ,-in both, th is psenclo -emancipntion is equally
to be condemned and denounced as having absolutely
nothi11g in common with the iuovcment for the true
pro g rei-s of women .
Beside the duties ar1smg from the great formal
Contr act of l\Ia rria gc , the re arc undoubt edly others
arising ft-0111the informal and tacit contract of Ji'riend
shiJJ- In the older Greek Church and among the
Bedouin s there a,re regu larly appointed rites to
solemnize the rnutnal adopt ion of l?riends. Such
cerci nonics, however, are by no means ind ispensable to
o·ive sacredness to the bond of every true and noble
:fi,iend.ship of the closer sort ; or to elevate its offices
£ fidelity and. mutual serv ice to the rank of moral
o
·
ob ligat ions . I shall return to this subJcct
a J'Ltl
i e
fnr thcr on .
113
DU'J'I};$ OF WOM]~N.
. of 1V
Duties
' omen as Jl!li'stressesof Jiouseltolcls.
.
arisino
· from. . Bloocl0
.A..fter treating of Du tics
'
.
.
df.
the Contract of 1Iarnagc n,ncl
Relat1on~l11p,an 10111 t t . at of the Duties which
Frienclslnp we come o ic,
,.
·O
1
nc11
whe;•1
we
are
i\11
s-r1rn
s
sJ-:s
of
Jio
u:;1
,,concern n,S ' \
,
·
. cl to bco·in
no
JIOLDS' an
"' ' I must say at once tl,zt I have
.
sympathy a,t all with those ladies wh_o arc sec:o~ _g to
promote co-operative housekeeping, _l n other "o1,~s ~o
abolish the institution of tho Engli sh Hom_c. lh01_c
may be indeed, specially g ifted women , artists , musi cians, literary women, whom I could imagine findrng
it an intcl'ruption to their pursuits to take charge of a
house. But, strange to say, tho11gh I have hac1.a pl'ctty
large acquaintance with many of the most eminent of
snch women, I have almost invariably found thcn1
particularly proud of their housekeeping, and clever at
the performance of all househo ld duties , not excepting
the ordering of "judiciou s " dinners . X ot to make
personal remark s on living friends , I will remind you
that tho greatest woman-mathemat ician of any age ,
Mnry Somerville, was renowned fot' her good house keeping ; ancl, I can adcl fro1u my own knowledge, was
an excellent judg e of a well dressed dejeun er and of
choice olcl sherry; ,vhile Madame de Stael , driven by
Napoleon from her home, wcut ab out Europe, as it was
said, " Preceded by her reputat ion, and followed by
her cook ! "
. R~Lhc1
· I suspect, it is llOt higher genius , but feebl e
iuab1hty to cope with the prob lems of dome st ic govern -
£
�114
l
LECTURE IV .
ment, ,vhich genera lly inspir es the women who . I
1.a·icato thon·. ht. tle household thrones. Some
w1s1
t o al)
sympatl1y may be given to then1, but I shoull b
l I
.c e
excecc 1ng y sorr y to sec many women catchino·up th
cry. and following their leadino·
to tho disma1°1
· ,1, eo
< C~isJ1'C!1L
chis fYlnent 0£ the hon10,- tho practica,1homelessnessof
Am~ri can boa,rding houses or Continenta.l pensions
.
I thinl~ for a woman to fail to make and keep a happy
homo, 1s to be a «failure" in a truer sense than to
have failed to c::itch a husband .
Assur edly tho Englishwoman's Home is tbe English,voma,n's IGngdom, and those homes, with all their
faults and shortcomings, tu·o tho glory of our country;
b etter glories, I think , than i{ we could transport the
Louvre and St . J\i[ark's, or St . Peter's itself across
the Chann el. Out of tho Eng lish homo bas sprung
much of tha,t wl1i.chis most oxccllont in the national
charact er ; and with the ::ibolition of it would follow,
I cannot doubt, a dissipation of childhood, and 11,
loosening of family tics, whereof tho evil consequences
would be measureless. Let mo entreat you theu,
whilo doing all yon can to amend the ma.nyand serious
defects wlrich cling around our homo system, to lift no
hand to break it down. olfako yoi;r homos better and
happi er anc1 freer t han they are, but do not e:en
speak of tho alternat ive of forsaking them and turnmg
ours el vcs into Bccloweons of tho lodging house.
11'or Engli shmen, such a change would be very
injurious; for women, it would bo simply disastrous.
.'rhe making of a tn, e :Homo is really our pccnhar and
115
DUTIES OF WOMEN •
.
•·o·ht which no man can take from
inalienablerigb.t ; a 11 0
, a Homo than a drone
f, . a Man can no more ma1~o
us, o1 •
h'
He can build a castle or a palace ,
can l)lake a 1ve.
c1 . J
• I b ho wise as Rolomon an nc L as
but poor creat m e • e
.
'
•t • t a Homo No mascu11110
Crcesus,he cannot turn i 1n o •
.
.
•·
l
do
that
It
is
a
woman,
and
only
a
woman
'
roor...a
. can
·
··
.
erself
if
f,ho
likes,
anc1
w1thout
a woman a11 by h
.
any man to help her, who can turn a Ho~so into a
Home. vVoo to tho wretched man who d1sput:s bor
monopoly, t~nd thinks, because ho can arrang~ a ?lu~,
ho can make a Homo ! Nemesis overtakes him 1n lns
olcl bachelorhood, when a home becomes tho supreme
ideal of his desires; and we sec him-him who
scorned the home-making of a Lcicly,-obliged to put
up with tho oppression of his cook, or tho cruelty of
his nurse!
Bt1t it is our privilege, our faculty, to turn any four
walls, nay even a tent uncler which we take shelter as
we wander about the plains of the East, into a Home, i£
we so please it. Aud shall we relinqui sh tho use of
this blessed faculty, auc1be content henceforth, like
1neremen, to be only quartered hero or there , not to
be at homo anywhere? Why even tho little beavers,
left in a drawing-room, set about making a dam,-a
beaver's Home, out of tho coal-scuttle and tho rug and
tho fire-irons! Shades of our grandmothers keep us
fro1u such degeneracy.
But not to pursue this spectre, let us take our stand
p1 ·0 wris et focis, aud see what Duties belong to us in
8*
�116
LEC'l'URE IV.
right of our Rome -R ule . (\~ e, women, are the tr~
Horne Riilers , Parne ll and Co. arc impostors .)
In the first place, if Homo be our kingdom, it inust
be our joy and privilege to convert t.hat cloma,
·u
.
, as
qu10kly and as perfectly as we may, into a little Province
of the Kingdom of God : for r emember what I have
said all along; that we may look on all our duties iu
this cheering and boa,utiful light-first
to set up
God's kingdom in our own hearts, making them pure
and true and loving; and then to make our homes
little provinces of the same kingdom; and lastly to try
to extend that kiugdon1 throug h the world; the empire
of Justice, Truth , and Love . Wo arc entirely responsible for our own souls ; and very greatly responsib le £or those of all the chvellers in our homes; and,
in a lcsse1· way, we arc answerable for each widening
circle beyond us . IIow shall we set about making our
Hoines provinces of the Divine l( iugdom ?
1st . Nobody must be 1norally tho worse for
living nnde1· our roof, if \YO can possibly help it.
It is the 1ninirniim, of ou1· duties to make sure
that temptations to misconduct or intempe rance arc
not left in any one's way; or bad feelings suffered to
grow up ; or habits of moroseness or domineering
formed ; or quarrels kept hot, as if they were toasts
before tho kitchen fire . A.s much as possible, on the
contrary, everybody must be helped to be botter,-uot
made better by .A.ct of the Dl'aw ing Room, l'Omcmber,
that is irnpossiblc ,-but ltelpecl to be better . '!'he way
DUT!F.S OF \VO)IEN .
117
' . e1·•boi- vorv much to scold,
.
I
ppreheno
is n "
J
h
to do th 1s, a
'
. . to church whet er
·t r insist on people go1ng
or exho1 , 0
d. F ....
,Jv Pra.yors (excellent
·t
ot orl'0a ino · a.,_.iJ •
'
they like i o1· n ' .
-~ b ' but rather to spread
though that practice :a ,y ::roosphero of frank con throu<Yhthe house sue an '
cl
o and kindliness with servants, and of love _an
jJ.
ence ,.
t b J feehn o·s
trust with children and relations, as t1la a
.o
.
l
temptat10n,
and doings will really 1iavc no p a00 ' 110
ancl if they intrude, will soon clio out.
.
One such point out of many I may here cite as
specially concerning us women . Is it not absurd for
a lady who spends hundreds of pounds and thousaucl:sof hours on hol' toilet, and takes evident pleasure
in attracting admiration in fashionable ra.iment not
always perfectly doceut- ·to turn anc1lectu re poor l\Iary
Ann, her ho usemaid, on sobriety in attire , and set
forth to her the peril and folly of flowers in her bonnet?
'£ho mistress who dresses modestly and sensib ly, may
reasonably hope in time that her servants ,vill dress
modestly and sens ibly likewise ; but certainly they will
not do so while she oxliibits to the ir foolish young eyes
tho example of extravagance ancl folly.
2nc1. Next to tho Virlne of those who live in our
homes, their Il.appiness shonkl occnpy us . In the first
place, no creatu re nnclor our roof should ever be miser a,blc, if we can pr0\7 Cnt it . In h ow rnany otherwise happy
homes is there not one such 111ise
rable being? Sometimes
it is tl_10sufferer's own fault: their 1uincls arc warpocl and
dcspan·Inl, and om· utmo~t efforts pcrhap can only
c.a
�118
119
LECTURE IV.
cheer them a litt le. But much oft..-. . th
.
f
d .
vlleI ere lS t b
oun in a large household some
,
o e
fallen, throug-h no faul• i·nto th po_or crbeat
ure whohas
~
",
e m1sota lo
·r
th e family butt; the obiect of ·n- t , 'J
pos1ion of
. t
J
i na tu ect and unfeelin
Jes s and rude speeches . the last
,
g
an
l
'
per son to be !riven
"'
a y p easnre,
. . and the first person to b o made to suffer
ny pnvat10n or ill-temper . Sometimes i·t 1.s a poor
a
ooverness or tutor; sometimes an old
t
,1 •
aun or poor
i e at1on ; now and then, but rarely in these days, astu id
servant _; most often of all, a child, who is perhap~a
step-child , or nophe w,
· or niece
·
of tho mistress of the
house,
. someway,
, d or. alas. ! her
. own child. , only deformed 1n
or oficient in n1tollect. 'l'hen tho hapless frio·
htened
0
creature, afr~id of punishment, looks with furtive glances
a_t the frowning faces about it, tr ies to escape by some
little transparent cleceptiou, and only incurs the
heavier penalty of falsehood ancl tho name of a liar; and
so tho evil goes on growing day by day. It is
astonishing and horrible to witness how the deep-seated
frightful human passion, which I have elsewhere
na med I:leter<Y_Pathy
,develops itself in such circumstances
· - the sight 0£ suffering and down-trodden misery exciting , not pity, but the reverse; a sort of cruel aversim~
in the by standers , till tho whole household sometimes
joins in hating the pooi· helpless and isolated victim.
My friends, if you ever sec anything approaching to
th is in your homes, fol' God's sake set your faces like n.
flint against it ! If you dislike ancl mistrust the poor
victim yourself~ as you probab ly wil1 clo at nrst, never
DU'l'IF,$ OF WON J.;N.
. ·t tho first thino · to be done
. d I Tal·e my word f 01 l J
0
~lll
. 17" 'o-~OD1of Goel is to do Ju Sl 'IC}J to all,- to
1n tl1e .D-Ulo
r even loath . . that no creature, however moan, o
secme
. t'
If vou are
some should be treated with inJUS ice.
J
•,
as I' am supposing, mistress of tho house, stop th~s
.
.
h ' ·h h l . and if --.-ouhave been 1n
persecution with a 1g anc ,
J .
•
•
h
,
m
o
in
it
if
it
be
yoiir
chshko
w
h1ch
you
any way to b ,
,
see thus reflected in the faces of your doponda,nts,
repent your great fault, and ma.kc amends to your
victim. If you arc not mistress, only a guest perhaps ,
or a humble friend, even then you can and ought to
do much ; you can look grave and pained whenever
tho butt is laughed at and jeered ; ancl you can
deliberately fix your eyes on him, or her, with sympathy ,
and treat hi.mv;1ith respect . Evon these little tokens
of condemnation of what is going on will have (you
may be sure), a startling effect on those whose custom
it has become to treat the poor soul with contempt ;
and they will probably be angry with you for exhibiting
them. :Youwill never have borne resentment for a
better cause l
Nor is it only human beings who are thus n1adc too
often household Yicti1ns. You must all know houses
whore some unlucky animal-a cat or cloo·-bco·innino·
0
0
o
by being tho object of somebody's senseless antipathy ,
becomes the general sm~ff're
-doitleiw of masters and
servants. Tho dog or cat (especially if it happens to be
chcnshoc1 b! the human victim) , is spoken to so
roughly, driven out of every room , and
,
pe1·ha,ps
�120
LECl'UllE
IV .
puni shed for all sorts of offc
.
nces it has
nnttcd that th
•
never cou1•
,
e annual assumes a downcast su k.
aspect wb · h ·
•
<
,
ca Ill"
'
ic in evitably produces £.1 h
"'
l t
cs aucl fresh
ie /ro?-'athy. You attempt, perhaps, to give it a little
pa of sympathy, ancl the poor frio·htened be t
at
.
.
"'
as snaps
, you , expecting a blow . or runs off to 1 · 1
d
.
'
llC C UU Cl' a
so £a . Tuiistre sses of homes ! don't. let the. b
l
IC Ca ( Oil'
or a cat, or a clonkcy, or tiny othe r creat ure, in ~;.
about your home s, wh ich shr inks· wl1eu a, . man or
"'?m an app r oaches it ! And here I may add, that
w_1t~
out th us spec ia.lly victin1i:r.iug the animals through
di sli ke, a household frequent ly iuake s the life of some
poor brute one long martyrdom th rough neglect. The
re spons ibili ty for this neglect lies primarily with the
lllistress of the house . She must not only direct he1•
servants , but see that her di?-ectionsbe carried outJ in
the way of affordin g water , and foocl, and needful
exercise . A pretty "1Gn gc1om of Heaven" some
hoL1ses would be if the poor brutes could speak; houses
possibly with prayers going on t wice a day, and grace
said carefully before long luxurious meals,-- and all the
time the chil dren 's bircls ancl rabbits left untended in
foul cages without fresh food ; mice th rown out of the
traps on the fire ; aged or cliseasec1 cats, or superfluous
puppi es g iven to boys to destroy in any way their cruel
inven tion may suggest ; fowls £or tho consumption of
the house carelessly and barbarously killed; and, worst
of all, tho poor house -clog, perhaps some loving-hearted
lit tle Skye , or noble old mastiff or retriever, con-
121
· w 1u·ch
. £or life to the pena 1ties
. we should
.
dcmncd
.t f
lefaotors : chained
th · l · too sc,Tcrefor tho wors o ma
Ill '
h 11 the Ion o· br i o-bt su1u1nor
up by the neck thro~g a
. ~ . ,: ater -trou<>·h
days under a burmng- sun , wit~ 1ts
.
e"
unfilled for days, or through tho winter's fro~t in so1:1v
• w1
-.·til cold 'and 1n a.o
·on1es
dn-rk sunless corner, £roe11rng
e
.
£·0 1· wan t of st l,·aw- or tho chance of
of ·rbe11ma,t1sm
wa1·miuo
· itself at a fire, or by a run in the snow . And
0
all' this as a reward £or t ho poor br ·utes' · ficlcYi ty I.
vVhcn this kincl of thing goes on for a certain time, of
course tho doo· becomes horribly c1iscascc1
. llis longing
to bound ove; the frosh g rass-expressed so a.ffoctingly
by his leaps and bonncls when ,vo approach bis
miserable duugcon, - is not merely a longing for bi s
uatural pleasure, but for that which is ind ispensable
to bis health, namely exorcise, and tho power to cat
grass ; a.ncl, if refused, ho very soon falls into disease :
his beautiful coat becornes mangy and red; ho is
irriktblc, ancl becomes revolting to everybody , and
the nurse C!·ies to · the children , who wore hi s only
friends ancl visitors, "Don ' t go nea r that clog '"
1 say it deliberately, the 1uistress of a h ouse in whose
yard a dog is thus kept like a fo,·r;at-ouly ,vorse
treated than any murd erer is treated in I ta.ly-i s guilty
0£ a vei·y grecit sin; and till she has ta.k en ca,re that
Lho dog has his daily exercise and w11tor, a,nd that
the cat ancl the fowls and every ot her sent ient crea,tu r e
under her roof is well ancl kindly trea ,tecl, she ma,y
as "ell, Corshame's sake, give up thinking she is ful -
�] 22
123
LECTURE IV .
DUTIES OF \VOJIIEN.
fillin?" ~er duties by reading prayers and sub ,.b. to m1ss1ons.
sen mg
I assl.lllle tha t the master of the house whe tl
.
·11
,
re iere
lS one, w1 ' as usual, look after the stable d
t
Wh
th
·
epar meut
er~ er~ is no master, or he does not interfere.
t he mistress is _surelyresponsible for humane treatmeu;
of the horses, lf she keep any Furthe r I th·1 1
1d ·
·
,
n,ove ry
a y is bound to insist that any horse which draws
her shall be free from the misery of a beariiio-·e·
Drm .
She ought not to allow her vanity n-ud ambition
to
be fashionable, to induce her to connive at her coachman's laziness and c1·uclty .
vVhen the l\fist rcss of a house has done all she
can to p1·event the su'{/01·ing,
mental or physical, of any
creature, human or infra-human, under her roof, there
remains still a delightful £old for her ability in actually
gvving pleasure . We all know that life is made up
chiefly of little pleasures and little pains; and how
many of the former arc in the power of tho mistress
of a house to provide, it is almost impossible to calculate. But lot any clever woman simply take it to
heart to make everybody about her as luippy as she
can, and tho result I believe will always be wonderful.
Let her see that so far as possible, they have the rooms
they like best, the little articles of furniture an<l ornament they prefe1·. Let her order 1neals with a careful
forethought for their tastes, and for tho 11ecessitiesof
their health; seeing that every one has what ho desires,
and making him feel, however humble in positioJJ,
•
been remembored . Let her not
that his tastes have
. t the position of tho
.
such atteJJtion o
disdam to pay
'-' ·1 dwellino--rooms as
d
fas of tho iam1y
o
d
chairs an ~o '.. .
a be comfortably place '
that every in(hv1dual m y t been left out in tho
and feel that he or she has no_ let her try, not so
.A.nd after all these ca1es,
.
cola ·
did
and
,-csthct1cally
much to make ho1· rooms sp1en
'
.
d
.
]- them thorouo·bly habitable an
admirable, as to ma....o
o
them .
comfortable £or those who arc to occupy th t ·'
. comfort ia. th 01, than
her .own ros e ict
reo·ardino-then·
.
0
0
'
brig
· ht an d clean
' ' swec.
o-ra1·ca1
,
o
t .fi t ·on. .A.di·awino·-room,
:,ith flowers in summer, or with driecl rose leaves 111
winter . with tables at which the inmates may occupy
themselves, and easy chairs wherever they a1·ewanted;
and plenty of soft light, and warmth, or else of coolness adapted to the weather-this sort of room belongs
more properly to a woman who seeks to make her
house a province of the IGngdon1 of Hecwen, than
one which might be exhibited at South Kensington
as havino
to the Kingdom of Qiwen,Anne!
o· belono-ed
o
'rhen for the moral atmosphere of tho l1ousc, which
depends so immensely on the tone of tho mistress ; I
will venture to make one recommendation. Let it bo
as gay as ever she can make it . Thero arc numbers
of excellent women-the salt of tho earth-who seem
absolutely oppressed with their consciences, as if they
wero congested livers. 'l'hcy arc in a constant state
of anxiety ancl care; and, perhaps with tho addition
of feeble health, :!inclit difficult to get through thei r
~
�124
] 25
LEC1'URE IV.
duties c:xcept iu a, c ·t . 1
er a1n ach1·ymose and d l
f: ·l .
a,s uon .
Houses whe1·e these
. o orous
women
re1
0-n seem
l
a ways under a cloud w·th
. .
"'
,
i
ra11
1 rmpendin
conceive that o·ood a d
1.
g. N
J. ow I
o
, u even no·h animal
. ·t
among the most blessed f
"" .
, spins , are
to h
o possessrous,-a ctual wiuo-s
car us up over the 1 t
""
.
c us Y or muctdy roads of life .
and I thmk that to keep up the spirits o£ a h
,
hold , i,; not only indefinite ly to add to ·t h , _ouseb t 1
i s
appiness
u a so to make all duties comparatively lio-ht ancl
easy . Thus, however nat urally depressed a ~ - t ·
m1.1vb I tl · 1 h
1s ress
• J
e,
un.;: s e ono·ht to st ruo·o-le to b 1 f l
d
""
"'""
e c 1eer u ,
an to tak_e pains never to quench tho blessed spirits
her olnldl'en or guests . All of us who live louo1n gr eat cities get into ft sort of subdued-chee1-fulnes:
tone . . vVe are neither very sad nor very glad ;
we neither cry, nor ever enjoy tliat delicions experience of helpless langhtcr , tho Joib rire which is the
j oy of youth . I wish we could be more r eally light
of l1cart.
?f
A few worJs must suffice upon the vexed question
of Servants .
I do not represent to myself a household as a
Despotism, so much as a Community, wherein some
persons (the servants ) have cont1·acted, on ce1·taiu
te rms, to perfor m a certain class of services for tho
heads of the house, the il' children and g uest;:. 'rhc
mistress (it is part of the contract) is authol'izecl to
give direction s at all moment s how Lhosc services arc
DUTIES OF WOMEN .
cl she is also author i~ed (it is
to be performe~ ; au h f it·ther directions respecting
. t "' t VO sue l
i'
unclerstood ) 0 "" b't . f the sorvants•, the ir hours 1or
tile dress and ha i s o
t ' ey sha.11adroit into the
the persons n
'
coming homo,
appea r necessary £or the order
&c as may
,
z• t . s
IiOuse
· '
.,
But with these cw ec ion.
aud safeguard of the house. .
.
Into
.
l
.
.
.
ciuthonl:y
are
exhausted
.
I thmk hcl' c aims to
.
.
.
t
of
any
leisul'
e
t
une
her
servants
the emplo3-men
h may
she as no
h a,' e, and their pr ivate affairs genera lly,
.111t J
t all .
.
•
·
t
f
thci1
·
contract
to
l'UCio
a
' .'
rio-ht, 1n vn· ue o
'
..
I cannot but think that the recognition of this
lino of demarcation, tho formal r elinquishment of tho
patriarclial relation (which can only now be really
maintained in excoptioM1l cases), and the carefu l
obsel'vanco of the contract , wonld be the safest, as
it is the tl'uest, basis £or our £utul'C relationship with
our servants. vVhen this basis is fairly laid, I think
servants can be bette r brought to respect tbcil' side
of tho contract ; to do ns j ust and ho11est service for
honest wages ; and, motaphorica]ly and litcl'ally, to
"sweep under the mats ." '1:hcro remains, outside of
their actual service, or of any assnmpt ion of a11thority
on our side, nn actually limitless field for tho exercise
of our natural influence as thei r immediate superiors
and friencls.
a:a
Ono word iu concluding these remarks on ·vvoman's
duties as a Ifoms Frciu. If we cannot perfo rm these
well, if we arc not orderly enough, clear- headed enough ,
�126
LECTURE IV .
po·wo~~fulenough in short, to fulfil thi . .
~
functaon of our sex well d tl
s unmemol'
1al
au
1orouo·hl ·t ·
what foolish of us to pre ss to b llo Y, l is some.
0 a owed to shar ·
th
•,
o g roat Ho11sokcopiug of ·tho State . M
e tn
and honoured friend 'l'hood , p ·k .
y beloved
. .
'
o1e a1 er, aro-ucd r., h
adm1ss1onof woiuen to tho full rio·hts of
hio1t e
0
shal'e iu o·
.
ci iiens p and
. oove1nmont, on tho exp1·oss "'rounds that "
women keep h
b dl
o
,ew
a
ouse so a y or with such wastefulness
s Chancellors of the Exchequer keel) tho St t .
wo
1
. £
a e , and
man y g~mus or organization applied to the affail's
of the nation would be oxti-emoly cc
. 1
b
fl . 1
onom1ca and
enc c1a . But if wo cannot keep our houses, and
manage our servants, this arg ument, I am afraid, will
be ~m:.ned the othet· way, a.nd we shall be told that not
hav1~g used our one talent, it is quite out of question
t_o g1ve_us ten; having shown ourselves incapable iu
httle tluugs, nobody in their senses will tt-ust us with
great ones.
·t
LEC
TUREV.
Duties of' Wo-nwnas JJ1embe1·s
of Soci·ety.
IN the Second Lect1u·eof this Course I spoke of tho
PIYl
·sonal Ditties of,~, omen. In tho Third LocL~ro_wo
discussed their Social Dillies generally, bcgi.nmng
with their Dntics as 1Vlo
1nbors of Families, 1Iothcrs ,
Dauo·htcrs, Sisters, &c. In tho Fourth Lcc~ure I
spoke of the Dntics of vVi,cs and r.Iist'.osscs.or llousoholds. Vvc now come to tbc cons1dorat1on of tho
Dnties 0£ a Woman as a ][ember of Society ; rosoeving
for our last Lecture her Duties as a Citizen of tho
State and :M:cmbel'of the Human Race .
In this Lecture I beg you to take note that I shall
use tho word " Society" in its narrower conventional
sense, implying tho association of equals for purposes
of pleasure, mutual hospitality, visits, ente rtainm ents ,
and so forth . 'rhe larger sense of the word "Society,"
as applied to all lu1man intercourse, is not hero intended.
If tho Home be, as it is often well called, " ·vvoman's
Kingdom," every drawing -room is woman's throne room. Modern civilized society all proceeds on the
�
Dublin Core
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Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
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Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
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Women's literary history and culture
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Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
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Summer Shetenhelm
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
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Title
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Excerpt from 'The duties of women: A course of lectures'
Creator
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Cobbe, Frances Power, 1822-1904.
Subject
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Women -- Social and moral questions.
Description
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Excerpt from 'The duties of women: A course of lectures' printed by Wililams and Norgate in 1881. This excerpt includes Lecture VI Duties of Contract--Wives--Friends.
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Williams and Norgate
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1881
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text
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30 pages
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CobbeDutiesExcerpts.pdf
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HQ1221 .C65 1881
Language
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English
Relation
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Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
-
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2392/Bradley1820-001.jpg
195b2d2050cc960b4bd5a33f3e0f766c
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2392/Bradley1820-002.jpg
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https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2392/Bradley1820-003.jpg
698b8f11896f60b7dccdfd88b38bd3b5
https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2392/Bradley1820-004.jpg
cc4c8548cd002dc9694e0e8045c654ff
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students
Subject
The topic of the resource
Women's literary history and culture
Description
An account of the resource
Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections
Publisher
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
Contributor
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Summer Shetenhelm
Type
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Collection
Rights
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SCU Archives and Special Collections
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The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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Excerpt from 'An authentic narrative of the shipwreck and sufferings of Mrs. Eliza Bradley, : the wife of Capt. James Bradley of Liverpool, commander of the ship Sally which was wrecked on the coast of Barbary, in June 1818…'
Creator
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Bradley, Eliza, 1783-
Subject
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Bradley, Eliza, 1783-; Sally (Ship); Shipwrecks -- Arabian Peninsula.; Arabs -- Social life and customs.
Description
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Excerpt from the 1820 American edition 'An authentic narrative of the shipwreck and sufferings of Mrs. Eliza Bradley, : the wife of Capt. James Bradley of Liverpool, commander of the ship Sally which was wrecked on the coast of Barbary, in June 1818…' printed by James Walden that consists of pages 54 through 61.
Publisher
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Printed by James Walden
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1820
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text
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8 pages
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WaldenBradleyExcerpt.pdf
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G530 .B7 1820
Language
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English
Relation
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Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections
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Public domain in the United States