https://dh.scu.edu/exhibits/files/original/68/2395/MontezBeautyExcerpts.pdf 4519c386a21e2223f191701291c3b21a PDF Text Text ARTS OF BEAUTY. CHAPTER I. FEMALE BEAUTY. " Look upon this face , Examine every feature and proportion, And you with me must grant this rare piece finish'd . Nature, despairing e'e r to make the like, Brake suddenly the mould in which 'twas fash ion'd; Yet, to increase your pity, and call on Your j ustice with severity, this fair outside Was but the cover of a fairer mind ." MASSINGER'S Parviament of I.01Je. Ir is a most difficult task to fix upon any genera l and satisfactory standard of female beauty, since forms and qualities the most opposite and contraidictory are looked upon by different nation s, and by different individuals, as the perfection of beauty. Some will have it that a beautifnl woman must be fair, while others conceive nothing but brnnettes to be handsome . A Chinesebelle must be fat, have small eyes, short nose, high cheeks, and feet which are not longer than a man's finger. In the Labrador Islands no woman is beautiful who has no ·: black teeth and white hair 19 �20 THE ARTS OF BEAUTY. 21 F DIAL E BEA 'GTY· In Greenlan . th . d and. some other norther n couLtries women pamt then· faces blue, and some yeIIow• Some ' e . n a t 10ns squeeze the head s of children bet . . . '' ce.n &oar ds t o mal'"e them squ,are, wlnle others prefer th h sugar-loaf as the hio·hest t,·pc of beau ctys J.'ape of a . o J tOr that important top-piece to the "human form divin " S that ther e is nothing tru er than the old pi· ~b· 1 " tl . . . OVCl , t lat 101.e . 1s no. accountrnofor ta stes ,, 'r1i· ~ · · 1s <l'Lffcrence ?fopuuon with respect to beauty in ,ariou s countries 1s, ho" ·e,er, principally confined to color and form, and may, undoubted ly, be traced to na t ional habits and customs. Nor is jt fa,ir, perhap s, to oppose the tastes of uncivilized people to the opinions of civilized nations. But tllen it must not be overlooked that the standard of beauty in civilized countri es is by no means ao-recd . l o upon. IN 01t 1cr the bu,ona,roba of the Italian s, nor the Zinda of the Spaniard s, nor the embonpoint of the French, can fully rea ch th e myst ical standard of beau,ty to the eye of American taste . And if I were to say that it con ists of an indescribable combination of all these, still you would go beyond even that, before you would he cont ent with the <lefinitiou. Perhap s the best clcfiuit ion of beauty ever given, was by a French poet, who called it a certain je ne sais qnoi, or, I don't k 1w11 ° 1 wliot ! 'fhc following classical synopsis or female beauty, which h as becu attributeu. to Fclibien, is the best I reroembcr to have seen : " The head should he well rounded ancl look ra ther inclining t o small t han lar ge. " The forrhe n.d white , smooth, and open ( not with the hair growing down too deep upon it) , 11cithc.r fb~ . lt but lil·e th e head well rounded, n.11I nor pro:mne, , , \. , rather small in proportion t ha.n lar ge. "Tllc hair cithel' black, bright l>rown, or n.nhurn , not thin, but full and waving, and if i t falls in mode~ rate curls, the bett er-t he black i;:; parti cnh1rly n<:dnl in setting off the whiteness of th e neck and skin. "The eyes b lack, chestnut, or blite ; clear, bright , and }iye}y, an<lrat her large in proportion t han small. " The cycl>rows ·well divided, full, sctllicircular, and broader in the middle than at th e end ·, ora neat tm•n, but not formal. "The checks should not be wide, shouhl lrnYe a degree of plumpness, with the r ed a11cl wh ite ii1wly blended together, ancl should look firm and soft . "T he car should be rathe r small, well foldeLl, a11cl ba\~e au agreeable tinge of reel. "Tll o nose should be phcc d o as to di ride the face into equal parts ; shonld be of a moderate size, st raight., a.nclwell squarct1, though somet imes a litl lc rising in the middle, which js ju ~t pcrcci,·ablc, may gi r o a ,cr y graceful look to it. "Th e mouth should be small, and th e lips not of ~qual thickness ; th ey shouhl be well t urned , small, ~a~llCr than gross, soft cYcn to the eye, and ,,i th a ltvmn· .. U10 111; a truly pr ett y mouth is like a roseo red . rn bi~cltha~ i q beginning to blow. The t 0eth should ])e uucldlc-~1zct 1, white, well r ancrcd 8.nd e-vcn ,, The chin of a modcr:t e size whi.te ~oft ..,ncl t!"' • l. } 7 n t- 1CCau Y rounded. IC 'I'I "C neck shC\ uld bc w lli· t C; st r~1 in-ht and of " 0 rt V ' J ' '-' u,, ... ~ • �22 THE ARTS OF B EAUTY. FE:.\fALE BEAUTY. easy, flexible make ; rathe r lon°· than short J S" b • 0 • • , e ~ a eve antl mcreasrng gently to,vards the shoulder s . h' 1 ·t d d 1· f · ' t e w.11 eness an e 1cacy o its skin should be continued or rather go on improving to the bosom • tl1c s1·· · ' , -..111 ill general should be white, properly tinged with red and a look of thriving health in it. ' . "The shoulders should be white, gently spread, and with a much softer appearance of strength than in th ose of men. " The arm should be white, round, firm and soft, and more pa rticularly so from the elbow to the hands. " 'l.1hchand should unite insensibly with the arm • it ' should be long aud delicate, and oven the joiuts and nervous part s of it should be without either any hardness or dryness. " The fingers shoultl be fine, long, round and soft ; small and lessening to the tips, and the nails rathel' long, round at the end s, and pellucid. " The bosom should be white and charming, neither t oo large nor too small ; tho brea sts equal in roundness and firmness, rising gent ly, and very distinctly separ atc cl. " The sides should be rather long and the hips wider than the shoulder s, and go down rounding and lessening grad ually to t ho knee. " 'l1he knee should be even and well rouudcd. " The lco-s strai o-ht but varied by propor rounding o o l of tho more fleshy par ts of them, and finely turncc, white 1 and small at t he auklo." It i~ very fo1tunate , however, for the hnmai~ rnrc tliaL ~Jl men do not have exact ly a correct tast e !ll thc f •r th had a fatal clCQTCC matter ,)f female beauty, or I ey , '1 h uld '"')OS· of strife would be likely to ensue as to w 10 s o I _I scss the few types of perfect beauty, Tb:. old ma~1" l~ rejoiced that all did not sec alike, a; if they ,d1~1,al1 wonId be after his wife, was not far Ot1v of the ~a ) . �IIOW '!0 GET A GOOD IlEAD OF HAIR, . A d the mornincris the best tim3 for an ·ttl hair n o h . . bl'l e · . . f the bru ·h becau se the air 1s ded application o · ' . exten ' I then tban at any other t11nc. t l"' lly more supp c • . 1 ll on._u••. t' thorouo·hly persevered in, will grn.( na y Tluspi ac ice, n l tl . . , some 1e 1,orcn1)inc hen.cl,un css 101 c b tl tame c1own . . tl f ll ,. o . ,, of the scalp m which case 10 o o" rn~ scurfy(11se~h,e ' sure remedy :wash "1..·11be found 'a auitc ... CIIA PTER XXI now TO ODT.\.IX A GOOD IlE1\.D OP IL\.IR. T:aE foundation of a o-ood head 0 c 11 . . 1b l au ouo11t In◄ uouute dly to be la.id iu infancy At t1, . t <lo l d t11s cu er ao-r a_n. thro ugh all tho years of childhood, it shouldob~ " o1n sh~rt , be frequently cut, and never allowed to o-o a day w1th~at a thorough brushing. It shoulclal; every mornmg, be washed at the roots with cold wa~ tor. A_ <lamp sponge, rnhbc<l thoroughly upon the scalp, will ~c sufficient. 'l1ho practice of combingthe heads of children too frequently with a fine tooth comb is a ba<l one, as the points of the tooth are quit.csure to scratch and irritate the scalp, and are almost sure to pr oduce scurf or dandruff. Indeed, these rules, except as to tho lengt/1,of tho hair, arc quite as applicableto adults as to childr en. 'l1he ladies of my acquaintance, who have been most cclcbratcc.1for the beauty of their hair, usually made a practice of thoroughly cleansing its roots e,-ery morning with tho damp sponge. .Kor would they venture to neglect the frequent use of tbc brush. Ind eed, the coarsest, most refractory, and snar ly lo cks can be subdued, and made compnrativcly sofL antl glossy by tho use of tho brnsh alone. Constant brusl1,ir1gis the first rule to subdue coarse and ,1 <., Si • 83 Saits of tartat· • • • Tincture of canth:uidcs • Spirits of camphor • · Lcmonjuicc. • · · . . . 3 dr~chms. lS drops. l ;3 drop'.;. • t .,1 pm. In preparing this wash, the s~lts should be cli~.;;olved inthe lemonjuice, till the cffervescense ceases, and then add the other ingredients ; and, n.fter Jetting tho Vt·holc remainexposed to the nir for ha1f an hour, it may be perfumedaml bottled for use. This is one of the best and most harmless washes for the hnir I have ever known. I am certain that a lady or gen tlcman h1s but to try it to ho c01winrcd of its efficacy. But let me impress upon you the importanc e of bruslli11gas a cal'dinnlmeans of beautifying the bair. Brnsli not one minnte,but tcn---notonce a day , but two, or three, or four t:mcs a day. Two brushes arc ::irlispcnsablc for the toilet-one for the rough nsc of cleaning tho hair, nncl the other for po1ishingit. A b1a.ck brush shonh1 be used for the former,ant1 a white one for th(' lnttc r. L::ulic"' need 1wt be told that washing ~roils hrushes. The way to clean them is tn rnh them thoron~hl.\· ,vith bran, which removes all the grrasc, and k1,c" the br1sl10sstiil' and �84 'l'HE ARrs OI,' BF,....L'1'Y. ~rm as ever. ,Yh eu the bristles of a br . lunber for nsc, they may be l. ·d . , u~hbecometoo . uat e,1cd ao-amb a· . th cm rn one part of spirits of . o Y ipprng ,' , ammonia and t . f ter . l his will also tborouo•hly cl ', I "o o wa. greasy substances. b en.use t 10111fro.nall CIIAPTER XXII. TO PREVEXT THE IlAIR FROll F.ALLIXG OFF. A RE.\rEDY for weak aud falling hair ha,s been sou~ I. t for by beautiful women, and by men too, with as muc;h aridity as ever the mad euthu iast sought for the philosopher's , tone. I have known ladies who did nothiug·bnt to huut recipes for baldness. 'rhc knowledge of all their friends, especially if they were physicians, was laid under perpetual c;ontrilmtion for light on the great subject of ktir. I knew an olcl countessin Paris-or who was at least fearfully grow ing old-who became really a monomaniac on this subject; she uscc.lto rattle on abont the "bulb ~ of the hair," the " apex of the hair," and talk as lcc.rnodly a:-i a whole college of doctors of the Yarious theoric:-,of the nature of the disease and the rcmecly. Some quack hall recommended her to use caustic alkalies of soda, or potnJ1-whi<.:hby the way I have known to be advi ·ec.1 by phy::;icinnswho ought to know bett er- which completely dill the business for her heal1, for, they not onlydestroyed the reproduclivc power, bet n.l.:;othe color of what hair they left upon her head. r,o tit at thi"i unhappy countess was not only hopelessly grey, but she was o0·1·0\"1·110• ' ·"l<l, • d· • 1• J , ·1 · '' o u..~ I.!1 •': uy cay, no~,.,1t 1stantlm -,. 0 f-o �1JO TIIE ARI'S OF DEAUTY. if t)1is c:q eriment produces an,· s,·m .t ,. l 1 . ., J P oms 01 head ac c, 1t betlcl' be discontiuued at oucc. · But a.n Ca$y auc.lnatural way of ,rar<lino· o"" ..· ·" f . b u \\ 11nkle~ l::i l'Cqucnt al.Jlut1011, followcu by·i)rolono•cd f·· t· .~ • ~ l IC 1011W1th a clry n_~pkrn. If a _fa<lyis a liLtlc adrauccd toll'ards the pcuod when IITlllldcs arc naturnlly expectedto make then· appearance, she should use tepid water rnstcau of cold, in her aLlutions. t h[lt IIINTS TOGENTLE:\IE~ T II E A R 'I' 0 F :b"'"'i.S O I .l 1i. r_i~ I X G . TO RE:,\!OVE STAIJ\'S OR SPOTS FRO~I SILK, IF a lady Irns the rni~fortnnc to stain a s:lk dress,the following preparation will remove the stain without injnrin g the silk. Tak e five ounces of soft water and six ounces of alum ,, cH poundccl ; boi I the mixture for a short time, then pour it ill n, ,·cssel to cool. Previous to using it, it must be macle warm, ,rh cn the stn.incd part maybe wa~hccl with it and left to dry . TO RJ!::\fOYE CRE.!.:=m FRmr !=:ILKS . "\Vash the sf ilcd part with ether, and the greasewill 11isappcar . I the grat itude of the whole mascu. O'Clll1Cl' tl 1e~c hnc " rules of the ART OF F.\::;c1x ATIXG . It u~~d to be supposed that this art lJclougccl cx~lusively to my sex ; but that was n. ,ul gn_rerror, which the ~harp pr,lctiec of the mcm has long smcc exploded . And it i;-;now well e tablishctl that gcutlcmcn spc!1d a great llca.l more time in inventing ways aud mc-1ns to entrap women a11d get them in lo\'e with them, than wo111eudo i!l trying to win the hct~rl::; uf gentlemen. Love niaking, indeed seems to be the '· h~i1ir-';-; end u1H.lu.:t1:, or man. lie appears to thiuk 0 lhaL he was horn for no other purpose, aod he c1c,otcs himself Lo the busi11cst:i witli a zeal mill au c11th11 siasm highly houorablc to hi:; exalted geniu-;, a.ud to the immortn,lstatio n he claim~ for him:;0lf of b0iug lh0 lord of reation. EXPECT to will 1 - • u) 'l'o L~coU10a, profieicut iu the art of fasciun ting, 101 �102 103 HJXT "' T 0 :::> GEXTLE111EN therefore, h not merel . b t 't . y an accompltslwi ent , d . u 1 is a du,ty which h an a pasti'm(. l . c .nay not n o-1 ncurrrng the ,::-i oTave st ccnsm.c . . o··,:ma 1·· dct>ect without 11 upon the study of this g1cat .. t and i\ll1 • , In entcl'io()' o start corr ectly , 110 must take it fmpo1 tant art t0 , , women ar c not ouly , cry , . Ol grunted that poor Jud" esof t h ey ubsolut ely prefer fops f 1 o I~cn, but that f ' oo s, au<l tnflers t o souse and ch::ua ctc1·· · l f 11owever th , ' o men douLLs on thi s subicc;t lie' b"d ,, t ' e student has I J u, 0e ter refer t . car nccl au thori tics which will not f· . o ~ertam mind in the riglit premisc8 ~,r l· ail_to establish his Laye . . "· m.ac '"oni to says "women a pr edtlcct10n for frivolous men " 0 most learned of the Briti sh Essa)'ists s~,·s ,:1e hof the 8, f •11 I J , w en we ·at ive' f u11of rns1 . .p1d . life . and l ce a c °'" oud and tall... augh ter, we may venture to pronounce him a~ ' I "· ·t " "\f , 1ema e w.v.on c. .o r. Burke tell s you tha.t "the character wlucll generally passes for agreeable with the womenis nrn~e up of civilit.y ~nd falsehood." And if poets we1e of any authonty m thi s high ar t, I mio·!Jt referto 0 Dryden, who sino·s0 l "O ur thou g h tless se.x is ca ught by outward form And empty noi se-v .nd loves itself in rnan." If these learned authoriti es fail to satisfy the mindof my pupil s I shall beg to refer th em to the works of Sir "\Valter Raleigh aud Lord Chesterfield, who arc very <;opious on thi s subject . But as they progress in the exp erimenta l part of the art, th ey will learn to rely less on au thoriti es, and tru st more to their own experience ancl skill. Ind eed I have seldom met with a man who did not consider himself, in his way, such n. 0 ~ THE ART OF :FASCI~ATI~ G. t ·t y be wast inoroficicntin this sublime ar t t h a l ma .. " o ~iroe to dw<11at all upon tbe subject of aU,tkoritws. RULE THE FIRST· Set it down, then, th at the women prefer triflers to men of sense, and \Ybeu you wish to make one of the sex tremendouslv in love with you, you will of course make yourself ; s big a fool ns possi ble, in order t o ensure the most speedy and triumph ant success. Yon will do this not only because women prefer such charac ters, but you will also consider th at so little do the most sensible and fascinating women kno w of the ir own power, that , Nero-like, th ey will only sto p to catc h flies and gnat s. Your hope of complet e success then, Les in yonr alJility to be a coxcomb, who bn,s no earthly recommendatio n but his face, his coat, aud his impudence. 'l'o acqu ir e pleasing and fascinat ing man ner s yon will tlo \\·ell to spend about half of your time between ihe curli ngirons and the looking-glass, so as to become th e parago n described by 1Ir. Tennyson. " Oiled and cmled like au Assyr ian bu ll, Smellin g of musk an d inso lence .,: RCLE THE SECOXD. You ~vill 111 ;.1.kean immense hit ,vith t he ladies by prctcndrng to be no n.<lmire r of any part icular woman, bn_ t a pro.fesseL 1 adorer anc1 slaYe of t he whole sex ; a tlnng wl11c! 1 yon can easily show by staring insult ingly at nvery pretty won:an yon meet. This will also be �10-i HI~TS TO GEXTLE1fEN following the analo o·y of 11 t . d th . o a u1c, as we know tl t fl an o er disgusting insects molest th . ia eas tendere st skins and fairest co 1 . ose "ho have the mp e:xtons J·ust human flesh-flies haunt th f . ' as the 'Th e a1rer part of , , . en , as you arc not a t. l creation. lover th l a· . p ar ,ZCU ar, but only a crener al ' e n. ics will reo·ard it as a t· b _b O re · tl f sa e nsrncssto ce1ve rn ract ional part of your heart I . I . belon <r to th · . w He 1 m!O'ht o . . cm, Just as a popular notion prevails t homeopathic doses of medicine arc lzarmless to sa tla 1 least . ' Y c th RliLE THE TTIIRD. You have no h'o·l , . . will . do . well to boast that you , lb lCl .\111b 1L10n 1n life than merely to render yourself aureeable to the ladies. 'rhi s \vill at once impress them wfth profound respect for the magnitude of your arubition,au<l the majesty of your genius. Every woman will be crazy to marry a man of such splendid prospects ; and the whole sex will be most happy to avail themselves of the serv ices of so aimn.blc antl useful a gentleman. But let me caution you not to give the slightest heedto those cast -iron, sneering kind of men who out of jealousy, will say th at you were framed by nature to be a woman's fool, and who will further seek to anuoy you hy saying that the ladies change th cil' lackey-lovers as often as t hey do their bonnets, because they soou get tired of them. RULE THE FOURTH. I f you can affect effeminacy and a lisping softoe~:;iu your speech it \Yill go a grc:it way towar<}Swinning the confidence aacl esteem of a scnsiiJle and Iorcly Let Your conrersn.tiou m rcr rise out of 1he J • 1 . 'l'he . l f i-,,lls l)arties fc.1. sh1ons aud t 1c opc1a . ' i: ' . t le1it:. o ·11u..., be not on ly a, pl cas in r,· !Jut n,n :.1.ppropriac operaw1, . ;:, . , 1, 1·,, . I' , ' rs it \\'ill assOCltLLC \'OU 1(1 tile tU ,; ;_., tncmc ior ) on, a ., ' . . . mind with the charmiug sul>jcct of nw,s1,r, , r cmtndlllg 1 her tlw.t qua,cr~ and un1ue,rni:1g words arc :Jl\\"a} 8 \\ 01n::ln . I softer than its moro mrtnly parts. RULE 'l'JlF, FIFTH. By all means wear j ewelry ; if yon have it not of your own, borrow it, or get it some other ,Yay, for you must be sure that you go not into the pr esence of a.ny woman,"·hose good opinion is \\·orth hasin g, \Yithout being loaded with jewelry . An imrncn:;c brc<1,s t-pin, either of diamonds or paste, with two rings on each band and n, heavy fob chain, h\'elvc inches long will be snfficicut to prorc that you are a ma.n of snlJstantia l gooc1sense, and that you arc the posscs:-,or of a heart which is worthy of the confidence and admiration of any woman. RU,F. THE Sl:S.TU. Remember that faiut heart never won fair lady yet, and that, U1ercforc, you mu ·t push your suit with the determination an,1 ,ch cmcncc of an arrnv of soldiers -tanning n. fort . \Vomeu 1iko men of c;nrno·e there 0 fore you should entertain the lady you would with H nn.rra.tic n of Lhcnumber of men you ha vo knocked t:~wn, at bulb um1 bar-roo11ts, who had the temerity to ~,oss your patl~ Be sure th,tt you always ma..keyour~ :selfth~ hcrp of some sc:·ape, for, notwithstu.m1ing the 5* win �106 107 O)l' THE ART OF FASCI:\f.ATI~G. HI NTS TO GEN-'LF.1.fE~ ladies will readily know th n,t you are tcllin()'r rime, yet you show ihat you 1 , o l, s all the and that yon r eally r)ossess "11t1havea t.aste for fightinorr · ,~ e att nb t ,. b ut the more brutal part of 1·t - couran-eu cs or n, hero 1 ' RliLE 0 . THE SEYEXTB. Remember that we do not like men fo.1 th . ma c1· · · e ment we y . rscover m them, so much as for that the c ~nd 111 us; thc_refore be sure that no man out-faw1~ in ) L the attentions . . paiu to the wornan of your choice ·kecl a c" ter tbat. Iet your compliments be of so m"1 u, • Lrnrac t rnre can be _no mistaking them . l1'or instance you may ask her if she is alwnys pa rti cular to shn't h . eyes ~n ret iring to bed? She will ask why? A:~ yo~ will answer, B ecaU,s e if yo1&do not, I fear tliatthe briglt;ncss of 7101&reyes wi~l bi_&rn liolesin the blanket, or set t,te lw11,scaflte ! This kmd of compliment is of th e most delica te nn.tnre , and will be certa in to impress the lady , especially if she is a person of sense, with the sincer ity and pu ri ty of your intent ions. r:: RULE 1'IIE EIGHTH. You cannot be too attentive to your dress. You shoulcl never app r oach a la dy except when dresscrl so as to look pre cisely as though a tailor had made you not more than fifteen minutes before. Be careful that your figu re is consulted in tLe color and fit of youl' garmcuts . I f you arc tall and lank, wear nothing but Llack, that you may " appear like a stick of IJ!ackscaling-wax ," \Yhich will impress the ladies with an idea of the adhesive quality of your nature. If you a;e sh~r: and dumpy, and "bette r m.a<le for rolling t 1an 01. l handsome in light . .ll • ,, you will look part1cu1ar Y 0 1unn1 01 r. or grev clothes, which will greatly enhance your /t If '-'Ourleo·s are sm:11land crooked, clo no O rotunc11y. J l fail to have your pants cut to fit a little tighter t wn your skin, as this will show to great advantage tl'.c delicacy of your proportions, while, n.t _the same tnnc , _it will familiariie a la.dy'8 eye to tho sight of those c1lsgnsting spiders, which, otherwi o, might ~ause grc~t mischief by sudden frights. 1f you arc wise, you will not fail to impress upon a lady's mind the ic1ea that you n.rea great deal more particub .r about your clothes than your mind, for your mind, being al ways out of t>ight, can ncrnr offend her taste, w hercas your clothes are con- ,,11: stantly before her eyes. RULE 'IHE NINTH . On being introdnccd to a lady you will immediately inform her that you consider that the prop er studr of mankind is womanI and that Por)c was therefore wrono· ~ when he asserted it to be man. Y on will proceed to say that you have m:1dc the sex your study so ]on6 that yon find it impossible to withdraw your mind from n. constant inspection of everything a lncly sn,ys and l1oes. This she will r eceive as a great comp1iment paid to her sex, whlle it will be pa.r ticnhrly pleasing to her lo know I hn.t she has snch n, C(Hnpctcnt and vigil~.nt spy npon nll her nctions. �108 ON raE HINTS TO ART OF FASO:NATING. 109 a E~trLE;\fE:f RULE THE TWELFTH. RULE THE TE~TH. If you arc invited to dine, go at least an hour, or au hour and a half before the time, for then the lady "ill be sure never to fo rget yon, as the attent ive and polite gentleman who allowed het· neiLher time to dross nor . ' to t o supermtend her dinner. Or, if it is not convenient go so long beforehand, you had best not go till twenty minutes, or half an hour after the time, and so keep the dinner waiting, for this will get the lady in the habit of th inking of you when you arc absent, which is a great point gained in the progress of love. But, under no circumstances mnst you anive at the place about five or ten minutes before the dinner hour, for should you do so, the lady will be reminded of the vulgar showman, who cries -" Bo in time, be in time-just to beo·in-bc in time." g oino0 0 " 11 upon a lady be sure that yon say Wh en you ca ' · bl . ·t and make some local hit applwa e "orocthmo-sma1 ' h 1 :, h lfo For· instance if you perceive thats e 1as a to erse . ' h t ay that vou arc sorry to bear t a ' as S wuuli you cu.n J br o: f~ar it mr.y lead to a coffin. Some such su ime ~ th · ·n be sure to obta in you a favorable Joke as 18 wr 1 bl . ,_•on Or vou can entertain her, to a remars<a "':e lC CCp lil • J f . d degree, by relating the number ~f ~our female ncn s who have died of consumption w1thm a yoar, and you <'an wind up by quoting the following words of :Moore ; " I never had a dear gazelle To bCT lad me with its mild blue eye, But when it came to know me well And love me, it was sure to die." This will make her part icular ly anxious to be con• sidored one of your " female friends." R uLE THF. ELEVEXTII. :Much depends on your conduct at tho table ; for ]; 1dics arc yery observant of all such little affairs. T0 o·ivo one a good idea of your gentility, take your nap· and tic it round your neck as a "bib," turn up y~ur 11 to , withont pnyino· nttcntwn coat sl ccvcs, an d f "..... . o any . to the lady who sits next you, for laGheslike not to bt' disturbed at mcaJs. To show that ~ou relish your fo,~~~~ let your mastica,tion be quite a ud11Jle , and wl:cn ~ -d .· 1, to a lad)' say ,: here's luck," smack your lips,_au d 1111 .._ , , • • ·altc<lidea er "ha !'' Nothing gtves a lady a more ex . o/ a mn,n tlrnn to see that lie is fond of good eat111.:, kin (l' .an<l <lrinkiHg. RULE THE THIRTEENTH. If you invite a lady to go to the theatre , neglect not to loa,o.her, and go out to drink with your male friend s between each act, as this wil1 show her that you have oonfidencethat she can protect Lerself ; and if yon cau foll asleep during tho play, it will be a great thing for you. as it will show that you are too much interested in her t o take any interest in tho play ; and , besides, sho has the sweet privilege of imagining that you are dreaming of her. N othiug ::;ofascinates a womau as· to kn.owthat a gentleman dre ams about her. Hence you �110 HINTS TO GEN'rLEMEN will do well to always pretend that vou dre d . J amc of ht:r1 w l1eth or you did or not. No matter 1·r sh d v . . . · e un erstauds ,/our falsehood, as she will be quite sure to do for still she cannot help being flattered that you th·mk' so much of her that you will tell her falsehoods to please her RULE THE FO URTEENTH. It will be greatly to your advantage to entertain the lady you would win with an account of the number of women who are in love with you, and of the decided u.dv.ances which they have made to you; for this will not only prove that you are a great favorite with the ladie s, and a man of true honor, but it will convince her that she may have the honor of being enrolled in the same list, and of being praised in the same way,in the presence of your other female friends. This will greatly delight her, and you need uot be surprised if she testifies her admiration of your clrnracter by throwing her arms around your neck on the spot. And if afterward s you should hear of her having said that you ought to be /ia,nged,you will, of course, understand tha,t she wants to use her own lovely arms for the iialter. RULE THE FIFTEE~TII. One of the most direct and sure ways to fascinatea lady is to excite in her heart a spirit of rivalry, through · tl 11 ·s 1·s t o get the jealou' sy. A common way of doing . dagu erreotype s of your father's cookand cJv.1,rn bennaid, and take them to your lady-love, and tell her tlt1.t thcy are the likenesses of two very ::-ichand highly respect- n.,, ON TIIE Ar,~ OJ!' FA SCIN ATING. 111 f . a lono· time persecuted you able ladies who _hav e od1 t las~ have had the indeli4 • th · • affections an a · . . • wit1l cu .._, '.. ·1cturcs without any sollc1tat10n t send you i,nca p ' . cacy o h . 'l1his story will reac11ly be our part w atcve1 . . . on. Y . body knows that nck and respedable believed as every . d .t . '. in t he habit of doiug ju ~t such thmgs, an 1 lachesai e , . a priz e will certainly convince a.nylady t 11at you a1e . especially as she foresees that she would worth h n.vrng, '• 1 buve the plea sur e of having her homo filled with a c_a:inct of strange women's faces, which she could exhibit as the proud savage docs the scalps her husband h as taken from the heads of his enemies . RULE TIIE SIXTEENTII. If a lady you admire happens to make tho acquaintance of some gentleman of superior attainment s and position to yourself, make yourself as boorish to him a8 possible, whenever you meet him in her company, for thi s will be sure to increase her admiration of yo'll,,and cause her to despise liim. Aud then, the moment he leaves, you will be able to demolish him entirely by assailing his character-mak ing him out a ra scal, a. rouc a.ud a libertine, of the very blackest dye ; and. fail not to believe t hat the blacker you paint him, the whiter you will look yourself. This course canno t fa,il to bring her to her sense , and convince her what a fool she has made of herself by taking such a ruffian and scoundrel for a gentleman. And th en she will admire you beyond description as the discovererof his villainy, especiallyas she will clearly perceive th e motives you �112 ~,N HIN TS TO GEN'I'LEMEN ha d for B . the exercise of such an extraord' . y this course you will open t h . . ma1y sagacity, · o er mmd a · t am commendable t raits of h vein of cer, • c aracter pos d . emment degree by vours:ilf d t . sessc in an • J ., , an o which h • oth , erwise have forever reuai·n d ' e a stranger . . RULE THE SEVENTEETH s e might . THE .ART OF FAS( INATING. 113 • -r. lle d for ass :s ane that the masculine for.fool is. J o ' an d that et' .means' and that therefore article a, is un, an ' . . iin f olleet wn ane means a, f oot a,nd an a,ss. If t~1e1 e rs no one by to correct your bad Fr ench you w1l~ get it for beino-a o·reat scholar, while the lady will be Cred o o . f profoundlyimpressed with the beauty _and propriety o your first lesson in French , and she wtll. be sure never to forget you as long as she remembers it. If you have not learning by all means it, for this will give a l~dv and all bprctef1~~ to have o t . J ' er uends an ppor umty of laughino· at you' wh1'cl1 ,,,n·11make you ' a o most .agreeable and amusing fellow in her estimation But, ~f, on the oth er hand, you realiy possess somelittl~ learnmg, do not fail to show it off on all occasions If a l~dy ~oes not know a word of Fr ench, you wiiI, of course, inter sperse your conversation plentifully with words from that language. you may ask her if she has ever read "Les Eg armnents du, C(ffll,r?" She will stare at you to sec if you are mad, and you will have the pleasure of relieving her alarm by telling her it is the name of a French book, the English of which is '' The "\Vantlerings of the Heart," and which you be• lieve has never been tran slated into our language. She will think you really a charming man for having relieved the distressing anxiety which you had created. Now you can not only talk in English on the delightfulsubject of hearts, but, having· given her a taste of French, you can proceed to give her a useful and pleasing lesson in that language. You may tell her that you learned it very easily, that the words are ,, ,ry simple, and you can rrove yourself by inf n·millg her ~hat the French word RULE THE EIGilTEENTII. It will be a masterly stroke of policy for you to pre• tend to be an atheist, and to scofI at every idea of reli• gion ; for, if you have no respect for your :Maker, nor for anything that mankind holds sacred, it will satisfy any intelligent and reflecting lady that you will hav e all the more respect and love to bestow upon her. RULE TUE NI~ETEE~Tll. You ought to know that there are four thino-s which 0 always possess more or less interest to a lady-- a par· rot, a peacock, a monkey, and a man ; and the neare r you can come to uniting all these about equn.~Jyin you1 own character, the more will you be lo,ed . This is also a cheap ~nd ~xcellcnt reci~)efor making a dandya creature..,vhtch 1s always an c bject of u.dmirn.tion and esteem to the ladies. RULE THE TWE~TIETJ-I. As lteel,sare of more importance to men than h d willof .,, c ea s, you com;:ic,spend all of your earli'cr·d ays m . 1.earn• �114 ON THE ART OF FASCINATING . HINTS TO GENTLEMEN ing to dance, and when you are pe1fected in the you cannot do better than spend th . ar~ t· • e rest of you 1me in dancing. Fail not to convince a lady th t r ·t · · a your rea l exis ence is in the Lall-room and that d . . , . . ' urmg all the inter. venmg time vour godlike facu1t·1es are simpl . ., takmg their. natura l sleep. you must not dance as Y a mere pastime and as an occasional amusement, bll t yo~ _must d evote yourself to it as a business and a rehg10n For which you wish to live or dare to die. Dance with all the might of your body, and all the fire of your soul, in order that you may shake all melancholy out of your liver ; and you need not restrain yourself with the apprehension that any lady will have the least fear that the violence of your movements will ever shake anything out of your brains. RULE TIIE TWE"N'TY·F IRST. Nothing so readily fascinates a lady as wit; but a.s this is a very rare thing, and only one in ten thousand re ally possess it, the best you can do is, affect itthat is, you can try to be witty, and even if you should fail, the lady' s laugh ter will testify bow much she is delighted at your effort. Puns are always delightful, and you must not forget that those only are good which are decidedly bad, a fact which is all in your favor. Should you hear a lady tell her servant to b1·ingup the dinner, a delicate piece of wit wouldbe to affect great astonishment, and exclaim, "bring 7"P tlu dinner! pray tell me, madam, hes yorr servant swallowed- 115 . . ?" Or you can make a misstep, and the dmner • ·l • n our head against hers, if you dar e n s c your ow a collision and say, "B eg pardon, b~t you knowtwo heads are better than one;'' and even. rf you b ld happen to break a shell side-comb, and g1vc her 0 s d h ~ • a day she will forgive it becau se of the a 11ea ac e 1'01 · , • • manliness and delicacy of your wtt. Or you might contri,e to kick her leg with the toe of your Loot, until she cries out with pain, which will give you a chance to defend yourself by declaring that she has "no rio-bt to complain, as it was perfectly leg-a1." Only h . • treat a lady with such refined and cha,rmmg wit as this, and she will be sure to betray the tenderest regard for you, by affectionately wishing you were in ~:ros~i ° "Abraham's bosom. RULl~ THE 'fWE~TY -SECOND. Should you invite a la dy out to supper, you must, by all means, order three times as much of expensive di bes as it will be possible for you to cat, as this will sho,r her that you have a generous disr ega rd of money, and would just as soou waste it, as spend it econo• mic:11ly,which will convince her that your wife will never want for money, i. e. if you hn.ve any yourself. If it is not convenient to be so expensive, take the other extreme, and be as mean as possible. Condemn all dishes, that cost over fifteen cents, as being out of season or as unhealthy ; and all wines you are to denounceas vile drugs, which you will neither drink your• self nn offer tr t :-:>~c whorn y0~1 respect. Th en order �116 HINTS TO GE~TL2MF!N ale for two, which, as she will probably not drink f •t you will hav.e all to yourself ; and, as you putt~~ gla ss t o your lips blow off the froth, or head and "l1u:,1e A.,s ymtJ"-a comp1·1ment she cannot fail' to appresay ciate and admire. RULE THE TWENTY-THIRD. Wh enever you call on a lady, speak of having "just come from the club," and dwell with pride upon the amount of tirne you speiul there, because all ladies have great faith in the happy influence of such places as " clubs" upon a young man, in not only teaching him the polite accomplishments of cliewing and drinking, and a great m:1nycoarser habit s, but they get him into the pleasant way of la te hours, and of spendingall his leisure time away from home. There is no sensible lady who will not jump at the chance of marrying oneof these dub-men , for she knows that she will be relieved of his company nearly all tho time, and that she will, furth ermore, have the groat pleasure of sitting up to welcome him home at the poetical hour of midnight. W hat a charming prospect for domestic happiness I ON THE ART OF FASCINATING. 11, blushing way through the mud. Tllis is a h 1 1· and a proof of your rnodestan d liment to t e ac ies, . . . admiration of th e beautiful, which every r~spct - duly appreciate. And, ty simp Y t blc woman w111 . lcl a . . on tho oTatitucle with which you wou see reflcctrngup o . . . . ·f the same delicate attentions paid to your O\\ n :vi c_or daughtcr, you Ca n more fully realize the fascmatmg • • . er its p1ck100 :Jed excellenceof your character. RULE THE TWE::{TY-FIFTH. Of course you will never allow yourself to sit five minutes by the side of a lady without paying h~r some respectful and delicate attention, such as takrng her handkerchief,and spreadi ng it out on your lap, or lean• ing affectionately upou her, or throwing your arm over the back of her chair, which will look to spectators as though it were round her neck ; or, if she wears a lownecked dress, you can stand bonding over her chair, lookingdown and praising the ring upon her finger, or the delicate whiteness of her hand . 'l'his will convince a lady that you have not only an inquiring mind, but that you also possess the natural instinct of a well-~red and wann-lte:.irted gentleman. RULE THE TWENTY-FOURTH. You must do everything in your power to convincea bdy that you are , in a modest way, a great aclmircrof bnauty . an excellent way to prove which is, to be v , h t t are alway s seen, on rainy days, when t e s \~cs s dtl standino· at th e corners, where most.ln.c.icspas , mu y, o d t . bcautv staring at the embarras sments of pc e~ nan JI RvLE THE TWEXTY-SIXTH. What is cn,llcd gassing is a groat card for a gentle • man to play, especially ,vith an accomplished and discriminating lady. vVhcnever he meets her, he must pretend tha.t he has just come from a lono· and iutcrest• . 0 mg conversa.tir·r. v·ith Colc12e l this-one, and General tha t- �118 HINTS TO GENTLEl iE N one, or has just dined with Honorable , · t .;. \._1 s er or Governor so-and-so, and then speak of the oTeat diffi' I . . . o cuty he hac1 m tear m00 • hunself away from them Th' • _ • • 1S will s~ow her that he 1s conscious of possessing no meritof hts Ovvn, to recommend him to her favor; whichshe will tak e as a pleasant and convincing proof of his modest and ~urnili~y, and_which she will also charitn.bly pas~ to l11scredit, agamst th e lies which she well knowshe is telling her. RULE THE TWE~TY - SEVENTH. Always make yourself comfortable in the presenceof a lady ; which you may do, by sitting on tLe outer edge of your chair , and allowing your shoulders and bodyto fall backwards , while your legs are projecting forward into the middle of the room, and thrown apart like the diverg ent prongs of an immense pitch-fork. 'l'his is an elegant and tempting position. Then, in cold weather, you can sit down in her presence in your full winter rig, of over-coat, over-shoes, th ick gloves and fur-cap, which will give you an air of great comfort , while it will, at the same time, be rcgurdcd as a sigu of the most delicate reRpect for her presence. Or, you ca_n accomplish the same desirabl e end, if the weather 1s hot by goioo- into her pr esence minus your suspenders and vest, witi1 noth ing on but your shirt, pantalo~ns , stock ings and pumps . She :will be sure to _apprccia:e t his delicate compliment to her presence, while s~e ca/ not fail to be str uck with the justice and propnety o puppiesachieving ::i,llthe comforts they possiblyran dur· ing dog-da;ys. ON THE .AR'f OF FASC I NATING. 119 WENTY-EIGHTH. RULE THE' T . l ·ed one of the fe.roale virtues, you ·t is consH e1 f .t As vam y b tter t h.ino . than to evince as much o 1 cannotdo a e _o t y to do th is is to never 'bl A convemcn wa . as poss1 e.. of a l ady . that 1s, be ourselfin the presence • ' forget y . d . the occasion agreen,blc to articula r to ren er · more p, t ake it one of entire bapprnc ss ourselfthan you are o m, . k yto bcr . for t l11s . wt·11 show her that yon .think too m1t c . . ' d d to the small business of entc1oifyou,rseLf to escen . . . . T· lk therefore only ot your own. taimng a woman. a , ' . , . Be constantly adJ·usting your sh1rt-colln.1' o1 afIairs. tl t arranging your cravat, which will not only sl:ow ia you are ambitious to look as handsome as po~s1ble,_but it willbe an employment for your han ds, which might otherwise prove, in some way, an u.nnoya.nce to her. RULE THE TWENTY - }HNTII. There is no way in which you can be - more serviceable and render yourself more ag reeable to a lady tl1an to bring her all the bad news you hear, especially if it relatesto herself. All the disparaging things you hear said of her, you will, of course, take to her directly ; whichwill cause her always to hail your coming with joy, while it proves, beyond a doubt, that you have beenwell-bred, and are a high-toned gentleman. RULE THE TillRTIETII. If you suspect a lady to possess a considerab le am0unt of strong gol)d sense, and if you know he r to �120 HINTS \'O GENT.LEMEN have had some experience in the world th a t you can easily · wm • her confid ' you fJJ.ay bel'ieve . encc and rcspe t b assuming an extraordinary amount of iet .. c ' y respectability ; which she well knows by, vntue, and of I 11 e an oldtrick near• y a. young scape-o-races who h:we nothmo• . but 0 , 0 pretens.ion 1n the oo-reat claims th ey makye to moralit Tl be easily shocked-be m . constant alarm y. I 1crefore t es youd should compromise yourself- put on pious . . airs ; an the lady will give you credit for obey· 0 th bl' . . . 100' e su 1mernJunct1on of the poet, who s0,ys·: · f° "A ssitme a vn· . t ue-1 'f you have it not ." RULE THE TITIRT Y-FIRST. Always have some joke ready which is intendedtc be a hit at woman. For instance, if you see a lady eating a piece of tongue, you can remark that youare surprised to see her doing that, as you thought the ladi es bad already tongue enough. Some such original j oke as this will impress a lady greatly in your favor, by convincing her that you are one of those commonplace, insipid creature s, whose intellect is down to the low level of woman's, a.nd that you will not, ther efore; be likely ever to startle and annoybe:·,by propo sitions or conver.sations beyond the reach of \ler compreh ension. RULE THE THIRTY-SECOND. You will do well to follow the e~ample of a great many gentlemen, and practi se killing ways before the looking-glass, which will be quite sure to give yon ON THE .ART OF FASCI N, i.TING. 121 a style as charming and fascinating as _the n.ianncrs o: a, monkey,while it will flatter the vamty ')f any sensible woman to see what pains you take to r ender yourselfso honorably agreeable to her sex. RULE THE TBIRTY-TIIIRD. Alwaystalk a little doubtingly of female virtue, for that will show that you arc rigidly virtuous your self, and that you associate chiefly with a class of women ,vhocannot fail to be of great advantage to you in giving you proper, and sufficiently cautionary, ideas of the character of the sex. RULE THE TITIRTY-FOURTH . Pretend that you are perfectly invulnerable to all the charmsof woman, which will convince her that you are the most vulnerable and susceptible creature alive, and that you are aiways making love to every pretty · womanyou see, married or single. This will show that your heart is as tender as though it ·were rotten, and that you would, therefore, make a most excellent and desirablehusl>and. RULE THE THIRTY-FIFTH. Also, talk perpetually of your great cau tion as to what women you associate · · ,nth. The louder your prof~ssions in this matter, the more yon will convince a sensiblelady that you would make lcvc even to your ~~her-woman, without regard to color, and that ,our " 11e' therefore' may • J r easonably expect to be relieved G • �122 HINTS TO GENTLEMEN of a great deal of the persecution of a husband's affections. RULE THE THIRTY-SIXTH . Alway s complain that your lady acquaintances are .,oo numerous, and absorb too much of your time , l · h 1 V llC ·1 · w1l convmce a discerning woman that you have not . I a smg e respectable female acquaintauce except herself, and that she, the refore, bas you nll to herself, including all your pretensions and lies. + RULE TIIE TilIRTY - SEVENTH. If th ere is a beautiful marri ed lady in your neighborhood, you will, of course, try to flirt with her; and, as a preparatory step, you will cultivate the confidence and friendship of her husband, ,vhieh is a most direct road to the affections of the wife ; for it will thoroughly apprise her of your designs, and then nothing will delight her more than to witness your efforts to impose upon her husbrtnd. If she is really worth flirting with, your success will be certain, and you will have the pleasure of being laughed at by those adroit rascals who always avoid the friendship and even the acquaintance of a man, with whose wife they desire to flirt. RULE THE THIRTY-EIGHTH. It is ~ masterly stroke of policy of some young men t o be always ra iling at matrimony-an cx~mple I advise you, by all means, to copy, for it will give you an opportuni:J of com ting r1cry pretty woman who ON THE ART OF FASCI~.A.TI~G. 12h r'1thoutbcino-suspected ::>fany but 0 · vour wny \\ • A coro ·es rn ., n l' ',1.ndhonorabl e intent1011s . 1:1an th~ mrJst P.nscl 1s~ and who avows his determma· d , ·scs matnmooy, th who c::sp1 h s also a carte bla,1ulie to c . ver to marry, a. ' tl t tion nc . 1 d , . for the pn.rents know 1a of every youno a j ' 1 . l10mc .,I t l ill ever stea l away t 1e1r J, ·e is no danger t rn ie w . . b . ot ,er tly in marria<re bis ohJeCt cmo dauo-hterpermancn o ' 001 ; a temporary courtship. RULE THE TIIIRTY-NI::-l'TJI. Thcr,e is an insipid tribe of triflers, callc~ " danglers," 'th 1 whom women arc very fond of diver ting themselves : mockflirtations, when they have nothing better to do. They regard them as a class of beings b ene~th their monkeys, parrots, and lap-clogs ; but, posscssrng the form, and, iu some degree, the attributes of a man, they use them for pastime, and to practi se tbem selv:s in the pleasant art of flirting. It will cost you but little pains to become one of these useful and happy beings. RULE TIIE FORTIETH . If you have made up your mind to str ike a. woman quite deadin lo1.:e with you, fix your eyes amorou ly upon hers, and gaze fixedly and burningly into them, as though yon were mesmerizing her. If you perceive that it is with uifficulty she keeps from laughing in your face, or, if she turns away her face in scorn, as though she felt insulted, you must, by no means, rPlax your gaze, for these are dear signs th nit you arc �124 lllXTS TO GE~TLEMEN havin~ yo1r _effect. upon _her. And if she sends for her fathe1, or b .othe 1, to kick you out of the ho . becau se she dare not I use, you may k now tlrn..t it. 1s . . your fa,scmatrng . . presence. onger trast he1self m • RULE TIIE FORTY-FlRST. What is called attitU,dini:::ing is a great game to play upot1 an intelligent and sensible woman-t hat is to throw your body iuto a series of graceful pictures '. 01 fas cina ting attitud es, which you must study bcfor~ a mirror ; a.nJ, as a lady will readily detect your skill and pra ct ice, she ,.·ill at once bite at so temptinga, bait, and set herself to win yom· heart, as sincerely as a spider spins a fine web to catch a fly, for she knows that all such insects are easily caught, and easily bled. ON TITS .ART OF F.ASCiXATIXG 125 rdasher. This will soon de the busidoor-wayof a babe possible grounds to doubt s for you, and leave no . ne.'3 s. as to your rcaI position in her affect1011 RULE THE FORTY-FOURTH. If a lady condescends to tr eat you with a little. familiarit ·ou must instantly ta.kc advanta ge of it, _and ' y,yonrse ) lf as familiar and as a 0o-reea ble as possible, make ~ • • , • . 1l you IDu, "Y do by some such trick as st1ckmg wh1c · h yom fi scgaralmost into her eyes, to light it, or_ta kmg ~r hn.er to brush the ashes from tho end of it ; ancl if s c ;houldask you why you do not use your own fi~fc r, you can reply by making a double nose, a~d ~ay no yo~ don,'t " which will strike her with adm1rat1on bo th for your wit and familiar good breeding. RULE TIIE FORTY-SECON'D. If you perceive that a lady is decidedly averseto receivin g you, and actually flies from your presence, you should perpetually throw yourself under her nose, on the same principle that a horse is made to smellof a wheel-barrow to keep him from taking fright at suJh an ugly machine. RULE THE FORTY-THIRD. Or if a lady begins Lo show evident signs of weari• ness ~t your frequent calls, by all means doul>lcyour attention s-ca ll oftener, ancl stay longer, uuW yo~ mnko you--3elf a fixLure in her pre sence, like a dummy10 thc RULE TIIE FORTY-FIFTH. Nothing makes a gentleman app ear to so grea t advantage as to be good at " small talk," that i , to be able to prattle away for hours ,vithout saying anything. If .,,on haYe not this fascinating gift of gab yourself, you will do well to take along some such help as II ar~ per's monthly picture-book, so that yon can amuse the lady by studying the j okes to frntl ont wher e the laugh~ comein. If you should be unable to fiud any, you can make a. joke yourself, by pulling the lady's nose, and exclaiming " not as you nose-on ;'' and then, by laugh • iug us lotl'l as you c.rn scream, you will prov e that your own uuaitlctl wit and genius hare founu a j oke. �126 HINTS TO GENTLEMEN ON TIIE ART OF FASCI).TATIXG. RULF.: TIIE FORTY-SIXTH. . I t is a leli?h .ful and sprightly species of wit, cal!c big talk, wluch accomplished O'entlen e . d 1 11 sometime 0 • 1 1 • me.a ge rn. to entertain ladies by descriptions of mock advent ul'es, such as ritlinoan e::uthqnal·c t 0 d · 1· .._ 'o watc1· ruu:10g out of the milky-way, cutting a piece off of tbe spectre of the Brockcn for a nio•ht-cal) C"t b. . o , u, c mg a comet by the tail, or bunting for a calf's head in the cell of a moon beam. If, after you have delivered yourself of this matchless piece of sense and humor ~ho fat.ly g!·avely asks if you had any difficulLyin find~ 1~g a calf s hea_d , you may know that she fully appreciates your genius, and that you have made aa immense hit. RULE THE FORTY-SEVE~TH. I advise you to ~tudy to perform a few pleasing and charming tricks in every lady's presence, such as snatching her pocket-handkerc hief out of her lap an<l throwin g it upon the floor, antl violently stamping upon it ; aocl when she asks, with t error, what you arc.doing , reply that you arc killing a wiper. Or you ca.uopen the door on a winter's night, and then astonish and delight her by asking if there arc any piddes in it? and when she asks what you mean, reply, "n othing,only I sec it is a-ja,." A few such tricks as these will convince a lady that you wonld be as amusing in a house as a monkey, and th cnfo rc would be a great prize as a hu sband. 121 RULE: THE FORTY-EIGHTH. If on intend to call on a la dy in the evening, do to drink liquor seve ral times, and several not n:o·lect o . . . . . kindsof it, during the day, for t llls will g1ve sp:n t to yourconversation, while it will enable you to perfume her wholehouse with a fragrance which can be equalled onlyby a scent that bas now become very rar e, in conseqncnce of the scarcity of the animal that produces it. RULE TilE FORTY-~IXTH. Giggleand ln.ugh perpetually-mak e fun, even of serious things ; for that will show that your heart is as light as your head, and that grief is as great a strangel'to the one as sense to th e other. RULE THE FIFTIETH . If you have not the natural sprightlin ess and playfulness to enable you to take advanta ge of these rules, take the other tack, and be as surly as possible- that is, if you cannot Le a J uppy and frisk and bark, be an olrldog and growl. � Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Everyday Literature: An An(ti)thology of Women's Writing Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Amy Lueck and Fall 2020 ENGL168PW/WGST167 students Subject The topic of the resource Women's literary history and culture Description An account of the resource Digital copies of some of the women's writing held in SCU's Archives and Special Collections Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available SCU Archives and Special Collections Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Summer Shetenhelm Type The nature or genre of the resource Collection Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource SCU Archives and Special Collections Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Excerpt from 'The arts of beauty, or, Secrets of a lady's toilet: with hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating' Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Montez, Lola, 1818-1861 Subject The topic of the resource Beauty, Personal.; Beauty Culture.; Hygiene.; Social Desirability.; Women. Description An account of the resource Excerpt from 'The arts of beauty, or, Secrets of a lady's toilet: with hints to gentlemen on the art of fascinating' published in 1858 by Dick & Fitzgerald. This excerpt includes Chapter I: Female Beauty; Chapter XXI: How to Obtain a Good Head of Hair; and Hints to Gentlemen on the Art of Fascinating. Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available Dick & Fitzgerald Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1858 Type The nature or genre of the resource text Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource 38 pages Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context MontezBeautyExcerpts.pdf Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived RA778 .M75 1858 Language A language of the resource English Relation A related resource Santa Clara University, Archives & Special Collections Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource Public domain in the United States